Tuesday, August 30, 2011

You owe yourself....

So much can happen over the course of a season. Life can change dramatically without notice and it is not always what we expected. It can leave us asking questions like how? why? and what does this mean?

Surprisingly, the biggest culprit usually in the equation is you! It is so easy to say that you know you are the master of your ship and you can control "you"..but so many of us cannot. It is hard to really control and get a grip on our emotions at times. They lead you stir crazy, unhappy....and literally creates situations in your mind that don't even exist. Everything external to you should not matter when it comes to the effort you put into making every day amazing and fruitful. Whatever that is within your control and reach, you make sure to keep positive and peaceful. If it is outside of you, then have no expectations in the results.

We like to blame everything and everybody for when we are unhappy, upset and disappointed but really it is us who we should look to. One thing I have learned is God is faithful and nothing in front of us is bigger than we can get through or handle. I am a testament to the beautiful blessings of him and I will continue to have faith in all that he does.

How amazing life works and how beautiful it is when we just be still and not think too much about what is supposed to come next. Don't think I am saying you should not plan for your future because you should..but keyword YOU plan for YOU. Never look to your neighbor for what you should be doing, where you should be going, or what is important. Only you hold the answers to your life and what it is to be. Remain open to all the love that comes your way and treat it brand new.

Everyone in our lives who loves us and guide us and builds with us are truly blessings. God uses them to assist in his work. Love your peeps! Be honest with them and stay working on the seeds that will grow to bear you the sweetest fruits. Everyday we are here it is a blessing to be acknowledged and celebrated. Who has time to be mad, angry and bitter. You are here! Make your mark and live with purpose. You owe it to yourself! Life happens, stay positive and keep going with the natural ebb of the universe.


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Jumping out the window with this one.....

So last night was amazing! I saw the only artist (BEYONCE) I am a FAN for perform and it was breathtaking. This is my 3rd time seeing her and every time it is just a experience beyond words. I have so much respect for this woman beyond her ability to just drop it and carry a tune. Her work ethic is incredible and that's obvious when you watch her in action. It takes a woman of a certain character, strength, and determination to be able to deliver the way she does, and you can't do that overnight.

This is not a Beyonce post. This is a post to say that I was truly inspired but some of the things she said during her show. She took her audience down a memory lane of all her trials and tribulations. She explained how she was rejected and rejected again so many times before she actually got her big break. She went on to explain the significance behind her now album entitled "4" and how much the number 4 means to her and her family.

One thing that I appreciated throughout each of her stories was the consistency of "bravery" that came up. In addition to her putting her pride to the side when it came down to things that really mattered in her life.

We allow our pride to get the best of us in many areas in our lives. When people try to advise us, and tell us what they think, we roll it off our backs and will fight to the end just to save our pride. Then there are the times when we may have strong feelings about someone or something but we will minimize them to save our pride. Or, we don't know the answerer's sometimes and we then are afraid to ask because we feel that our pride might be damaged. The underlying and more bigger issue is really not pride BUT "fear".

Fear will keep you dead while you are alive. It breeds and multiplies fast and it is when we can conquer our fears we have already won half the battle. I am someone who has always had so much pride. Love has taught me that you have to check that at the door sometimes. To be in love you have to give all of yourself...not just a little bit. You have to expose your vulnerabilities and be able to accept that you do not have it all figured out. When you are truly in love you give it all you have. When I speak of being in love do not just limit that to relationships. It is everything life has to offer. That is why they say always do what you love because only then will you express your full potential.

I feel blessed so many times over that God has allowed the closest people in my life to serve as mirrors to behavior that I once demonstrated that just wasn't of my higher self. That is love, and when things hit the fan you are able to sit reflect and check your pride at the door.

To sum it up...all I say is jump out the window for things you truly believe in. NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY!

God knows best and you know best for you. No one will ever know who is right for you, what you should do, where you should live, why you should work there and not some place else and the list can go on. You have to be in tuned with God and in tuned with your spirit and once you are you can listen to it! He always makes a way. Stay positive and believe that you can have anything your heart truly desires if you are willing to put aside your pride and do what it takes.

Life is short and so is time and who has time to sit and worry about things that do not matter. Make your today great and know that only your future is what you make it to be. So if it turns out unexpected look to yourself as to why.

LIVE and be purposeful... LOVE and be Honest...Be in your moment.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


We are the sum of the choices we have made before TODAY.

I sit and listen to the rain pound the windows and I can almost relate to the drop hanging off the seal. I had to let my daughter go and spend time with her father today and she is going to another state for a week. This may not sound like a big deal but it is to me. I have always been protective, and over bearing I will admit when to comes to my "moomoo", but these days things have seem to intensify.

Six years ago when I decided to have her, it was done without planning...it was me being young, thinking of just the minutes that held me at the time...not the tomorrows. We all fall victim to what feels good at the moment...but there is always something that is greater working and trying to clue you in to what the reality is. Well...I did not listen to that clue nor did I see it. I went with it...and she came.. and God knows she has been a beautiful blessing in my life and my being, but as they say everything has balance and something as beautiful as she comes with a price.

The price in this case is ..her father and I have not mutually agreed to come together to make a family unit for her with each other. We never truly saw things eye to eye and for some reason maybe we thought a child would help...but it doesn't. So God says here ...take this....the most precious gift you can have and now what? Well...nothing changes...people don't. Life happens....and now you have a life beside your own to cater, nurture, and make sure it is going down the right path.

If I learned anything from that past experience it is....when it comes to relationships...it takes TWO...and both have to be on the same page and agree to get to the same goal no matter how each chooses to get there...as long as both are striving. I am not saying he was lacking or I wasn't. Who is to blame becomes a lost cause ..a lost thought....and a place of irrelevancy. WE were the cause.

When the spilt happened I was fine. I never been more sure about anything in my life. The days, weeks and months after were fine until you deal with the present. My daughter has to leave me for a week because she has to spend time with her daddy right? Well..I sometimes have to get a grip. I just always wanted to have that strong family unit as I grew up in, that I benefited from. I must say fortunately my daughter is blessed to have a big family on both sides and she gets immense love from everyone...but it breaks me down to know that her time must be split. There are moments, experience that she will share and I will have nothing to do with it. As a mother you want to share EVERY moment that matters, that builds and teaches her something but based on the choices I have made...they will affect us both.

So ....instead of sulk, I rise. I give thanks for every single thread of wisdom that God has placed on my heart. Every single person who loves me and appreciates me and every situation that is happening to teach and prepare me for the joy to come. Life is good. She is healthy, she has people who really care for and love her in ways that are unexplainable. I am learning to cope and to accustom myself to the lifestyle that has been created.

I will always do my best to be her hero, protect her and love her unconditionally and provide the best possible means for her future. I take solace in knowing that GOD is in the mix always and this was meant for us...for now. Tomorrow looks bright and the future is ours for the taking.

This post was a therapy release....I do feel better even though I miss her much! DAY 1.