Fighting Temptations...

"The grass is not always greener on the other side", that is what they say. I say...you wont ever know the shade, tent, smell and feel of the grass if you never experienced it. If you never walked on it, you never rolled through it, you never played Frisbee on it on a sunny day. You never even maintained the grass, kept it low. How can you truly say that the grass isn't greener?

I have said time and time again that I believe experience is the best teacher. Always! I have recently been seeing and watching people sacrifice good opportunities, and great relationships because they are curious about what life is like on the other side of the fence. NOW...here is the stipulation. Even though I think that it is important that you experience life and go with your gut, it is extremely important that you do not let GLUTTONY and SELFISHNESS be the reason why you do it.

There is a big difference between the young lady who has a great, great, guy who makes it his mission in life to make sure that she is good. He makes her feel like a queen, helps her when she needs help, comforts her when she needs it, caters to her needs, respects her, in tune with her emotionally, and spiritually and is an all around great addition to who she is.

Compare this to the woman who stays in a relationship with a man who she hardly sees, who has to make an appointment to spend time with her man. A man who makes her and her needs an option. Does not cater to her mentally, spiritually, or emotionally. Makes her feel like she is just another one.

Which scenario is worth taking a test drive if another person or opportunity comes though. I can say that I would never ever tell someone who is unhappy, even if they were in a relationship not to remain OPEN to the possibilities of what you want in your life if it is clearly not present.

Unfortunately, what is happening is people who are in some pretty great relationships are not respecting them. They are stepping out to see if they can get more...they are interested in being GREEDY and not being in a state of gratitude with the person who is in their lives, who doe not deserve to be betrayed.

I think it is a sad situation when you have everything that you NEED and WANT and you still refuse to fight off the urge to explore more. At what expense do you hurt the next person? Do you even care? It seems that some of us will just never ever be satisfied.

Before you decide to break that person's heart and make a deposit into your own karma..think....How much your neighbor wish they had someone to love and grow with as you already have.

Have a wonderful day!!!!

Made in the U.S.A.

Look at the tag of anything you are wearing right now...go on..I will give you time. Mine says "Italy" but...point is I guarantee you find something that says "Made in China, Cambodia, Paris, Indonesia"...or made someplace other than here. This is usual and should not surprise you, since we have accepted and realize that..that is just "the way it is".

What may surprise you, and what you may not consciously be aware of, is the fact that even though most of everything you own and wear is foreign made, YOU are not. America has done a fantastic job in designing you and keeping you in line with most of the absurdities that they have created and pretty much trained you to believe.

I came to this conclusion in a discussion yesterday and by simply listening to music. I love music. It is one of my greatest loves. I love the way a singer touches me with their gift, to speak to the inner me and lift me up, transcend moods and allow me to be in a state of temporary bliss. I appreciate talent and I appreciate when someone uses their raw, god given talent towards humanity.

Then it happens. You hear something from what you love, in this case being music, and it just brings you an epiphany. I'm going through my email and I open this new song from Rhianna and it literally butchered my spirit, it rained on my expectations and it made me ask..."Why is she selling millions"? Then I answered my own question...because they told us to like her and so it will be. Who are they? The "suits" that be. The decision makers, the ones who run it all.

Ask yourself this..If you heard one of Rhianna songs one time...and that was it...would you run to hear it again...compared to hearing a real vocalist? I guess if you listen to the radio all day, then you are forced to believe that this song is great and she is fabulous and you love it because they play it every hour on the hour. WHY? because it is part of the program.

There are some of us who have always been smarter than to go for the "okie doke" and co-sign nonsense when it is presented to us (we can date back to Harriet Tubman) but....how many do fall for it? How many of us just go with the program...day in and day out...liking what they tell us to like, listening to what they tell us to listen to, reading the garbage (OK, PEOPLE, etc.) they tell us to read, and the worst one.. WATCHING what they tell us to watch.

Who would have known that Rhianna would provoke such serious thoughts and theories. Here is a young lady who is known as one of the USA's largest singers/pop stars, yet, she clearly cannot sing (I stand firm by that), she cannot dance (which has always been a huge disappointment since she is from Barbados, and I had high hopes for the "Pon de replay" video), and she has no stage presence. She is simply just... the chosen one. If I am wrong...please prove it. I always welcome healthy debate.

I have never even seen her do anything GREAT other than what someone else orchestrated her to do..hence her fashion and style...which I will be the first to say is through the roof. She has also, sung many hit songs that were very well written by others, but still demonstrated no vocal talent. She was chosen to be who she is..and that she has done...and done well.

My point and where I am going with this is....start to PAY ATTENTION to who you are and the things YOU like, not what THEY say is hot, good, or worthy. If you do not know yourself and take time to really get to know you OUTSIDE of the programs that have been running since the day you were born, i.e. Radio, TV, Politics, Bureaucracies, Music, Movies...every single one of these things have a subliminal message to keep you following the program. Eventually, you will just be a product manufactured, as so many of these youth are becoming. They are not being raised by their parents..they are being raised by this society and it's non-sense.

Can you imagine what it would be like for us to not to have had a Ella Fitzgerald, Don Hathaway, Patti La belle, ARETHA, Etta JAMES!, WHITNEY, Marvin..AL Greene..like...real live hard core sing to your bones get sore SINGERS! I can't imagine..but yet, my daughter is growing up in the generation of Rhianna...and this is supposed to be acceptable?

OK ...so bringing this back....

I am in no way saying that every single thing we see and hear is bad, that would be false...but the ratio of what is good to what is over the top is clearly outbalanced and it is your responsibility to know the difference and educate yourself. If not for yourself, then for your children, or future children.

I constantly push myself to read books of my own interest, and that can broaden my insight past what the media constantly chooses to tell me. I push myself to not watch TV all the time, I push myself to have a conversation with my daughter about whatever she wants to talk about, even when its been a looog day. I push myself to listen to other types of music and my own music library instead of the radio. I push myself to engage in stimulating, thought provoking conversations about issues that are prevalent in my world, and my friends and families lives. I push myself. How hard do you push?

If we don't push ourselves then who will? Not all of us are blessed to have a constant coach on us to try to stay consistent and focused. This country makes it HARD to live in sincerity, compassion, and to live authentic. It's a start to simply push yourself.

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent....about things that matter"

Love...

We are each other's inspiration!

I have never been shy about praising my fellow sisters! No matter what age, race, or place you come from...If I see a beautiful woman I say "Damn, she is HOT"! If I like your ensemble I say "Wow, work it girl"! If I see your talent and you demonstrate it so gracefully and effortlessly I Thank you and I tell you "You are Dope".

I have been blessed to know and have some pretty amazing, creative, talented, strong and gorgeous sisters in my life! We may not all be close as cousins, I may see you once every season, we may talk every full moon..but you know its ALL love and I am sure to tell you every now and then THANK You for being a dynamic contrition to my world as it happens...to Me.

Today I received an email from a young lady I have known since I was 13. She has always been full of life, and has turned out to be an exceptional poet and writer...I give thanks to her for this piece that she emailed me today, because little does she know...it made me smile and found its place to me through its significance.

She has welcomed me to share: ENJOY....

MISS POLAY (Nia Crooks) here's to you....

Black curtains moving about amongst the sills of my bedroom windows
Dark spirits circling about
Again I ask self, what did I dream about?
A new day, a fresh start
Clean sheets of white paper to doodle upon
What's wrecking this brain of mine?
Chest full of emptiness and not a happy heart beat in sight
What's going on in the inner Ms. Crooks today that I pray doesn't lead into tonight
I ran away from yesterday & made it all the way to today
So my past isn't making me feel this way
Something or some things are missing this day
God grab my hand and take this feeling away
The more of "ME" is acting less
What will be the avenue of my next step
My Sgt. Green Eyes asked, what am I gonna do with this life?
I didn't say this, but my answer was to just be his wife
Who is he, I laugh @ self
My purpose lately is just to have a fixed health
The crazy spree I've spirled down surgery after surgery the body of a broken clown
Oh wait, its the trial that's raping my brain
Taking the stand from the taxi hit & to a judge & jury I must explain
Nerves of nervousness is what's clouding my brain
Hoping to have the perfect testimony & try not to appear insane
When a overwhelming feeling strikes I blank brain
Sometimes I forget my very own name
Loving that Dad & Gramps will be by my side
Wait..., in my dream I saw my Holy side
So this is not emptiness I feel or a bad spirit circling my room
Its good energy delivered to me by, you know whom
God you're a silly Goose sometimes
You wreck my brain then make me rewind
Its time to fill up with your good graces
And get ready to experience new places & spaces
So its not nothingness, doubt, hurt, pain or negative I feel
Its the feeling of being healed
The sins that I commit wash away over night
And in the morning God gives me a new chance to fight
Amaya still belly swimming as I smirk my face
Happiness decorating all over the place
See this is why I write so I can fill my tank
With words from the heart and my purity place
The "ME" you may know, maybe so many "ME"'s
But the one thing I can prove is only my God holds my hearts key
He opened it up today and my writers block stepped down
These are the words from a frown turned upside down

@POLAY

Let it resonate....

Love you all.. HAPPY TUESDAY!

The road less traveled....

I pretty much believe that the best teacher is experience. Ever since we were babies and were learning to crawl and walk, we knew if we ran too fast, we would fall and bump our heads, so we slowed down, and mastered our steps, alleviating the pain.

Why or when did the concept of not experiencing pain, hardship, and disappointment get ruled out in our learning process as adults?

I never understood why people would get at others when they told them not to do something and they did it anyway. How can anyone know the severity of their actions if they never experienced it? Isn't that how the person telling you not to do something learned?

I attest that struggle and sacrifice bear bountiful fruit. It is an amazing and gratifying time to come out of a storm and see the sun shining and the pastures green. Life can be so extremely heavy and non-inspiring at times, making us doubt and second guess the power and strength that resides in us to overcome any and everything.

We sometimes forget that NOTHING is too big and would not be presented to us if it was. There is a lesson and a test in everything. Pay attention to the language of your life. Understand it...master it and take it seriously. You would be surprised at how many of us are living with no plan. No goals to attain. Just waking up and doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results than the day before. That is called insanity.

The day you stop envisioning more than what you already have and trying to go to places you have never been, is the first sign of living in mediocrity, and accepting it.

I have heard so many times in this week alone from a couple of people "I wish I was in school, I need to go back, I miss it" GO BACK! LEARN! PUSH YOURSELF...and don't tell me you don't have the money to go because if nothing else in this country..anyone can go to school and not have to PAY upfront for it. So stop lying to yourself. Make it happen. Do SOMETHING.

I am currently in one of the most challenging times in my life getting my Master degree but I love every second of it. I am learning new things, meeting interesting people and following a path that satisfies a desire I have had for a long time.

The less traveled road is never appealing and wont be the easiest to endure but once you reach the destination...the view is amazing!

Live with purpose..as someone recently said to me!

Have a wonderful and blessed weekend!

RESPECT...not just a 7 letter word.

RESPECT is earned not given. This can be debatable by some..some would say that why not show certain people "automatic" respect if they are a certain someone in your life. Like your mom, dad, child's parent, in-laws, and elders are just SUPPOSE to get a certain level and amount of respect when it comes to who they are in your life.

This should be the case but what happens is the people who hold these titles can do some of the most disheartening, disrespectful, cold things to you and it can really tear at your spirit and soul. Making it extremely hard to show them any sort of "automatic respect".

What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong. Why should we endear the blatant disregard and stupidity that so many of these people put on display. It is a hard question to answer and many of us would have to take it by a case by case situation.

Assess the "titles" in your life and ask yourself seriously if they are worthy of Respect?

Just a thought...I'm going somewhere with it soon....

Have a great Tuesday! Love the Life you have...while you have it.

Relate, Regroup & Release,

As I drove back to my house today after getting some breakfast, I noticed a couple in a Maxima. The young man was in the passenger seat and the girl was driving. As she pulled up to the front of the train station, she got out and so did he, in which she held the door and he got into the drivers seat. It was obvious she was on her way to work and he was taking her car, to go about his day.

The problem for me was not in the fact that she was basically giving him her car while she was at work, but how when she got out he didn't even acknowledge her. No goodbye kiss, no hug, not even a "have a great day". That was the problem.

So many times..and more often than usual I find my ladies OVER extending themselves to the men in their lives. They do, do and do some more...not receiving the littlest reciprocation from their men. I have seen situations where the man does not even get up and TRY to earn money to help the woman who breaks her back day in and day out to make sure the bills are paid. What sort of life is this?

I am not saying that we should live in old school traditions in all areas in our lives but a man should want to provide and add on for his lady and family (if they have one) and if he does not, and you are doing EVERYTHING then where is the team work or strength in that. To make matters worst, when she is out here bettering herself and her life, his attitude is very non-chalet and he does not praise you and make you feel appreciated as he should.

I felt so bad for the young lady today because it was as if she was waiting for her guy to do something...say something...and he just pulled off. As a woman, no words had to be said, no background information had to be given, no story...it was an unsaid disappointment, and let down of expectations..something I believe all of us women have felt at some point in our lives from the one we love.

I pray for my women and my girls who give give and give to men who don't deserve it. So for those who take our nurturing, our catering nature and our selflessness for granted, regroup and release them. They do not deserve the goodness that God works through you.

Find someone who is a reflection of the light you give off and don't be afraid to be alone either. It is when we finally let go of something, that the most beautiful blessings are welcomed unexpectedly into our lives.

Love...

DAMN SHE FINE!!!!

Is it OK to say that I love me some beautiful black women! No I am not a Lesbian. I just love women who embrace their womaness and feel free to be the woman that they are naturally.

There is something about the scent of a woman. The touch of a woman. The kiss of a woman. The hug, the advice, the essence. It gets even more fun and I am in full gratitude when a woman embraces her femininity. She loves to be clean. Smell good, Dress sharp, have flawless hair, nails, and posture.

It does not matter what size you are. We come in all shapes. Small, Petite, Tall, slim, round, curvy...it is a beautiful thing to compliment and flatter who you are. It baffles me to see women who do not put an ounce at all into their appearance and make an effort to try to be the fly, powerful, queen that is in her. That does not happen by playing small at any level.

Make noise with your ambition. Let laziness and lack of motivation never catch you.

Make regular deposits into YOU!

Love the skin you are in!!!!

LOVE...

Evolution is necessary...

Thank goodness just like the world in which we live, we as people evolve. If I was still the same person I was 10 years ago, who am I kidding, even 5 years ago, I might as well pack up my things and live in a hut in Tibet. I have grown, evolved and accelerated my life so much, with my own doing, that I am proud to be in the space I am in. I can say I have grown and committed myself to making moves with my life and the direction I want it to go.

It is so easy to be trapped in a life of habit. Habits that promote activities and occurrences in your life that are not in your best interest. Not all of our habits are always bad, but we might not realize by overindulging in some of these habits, it can do more harm than anything.

Surrounding ourselves around certain people and their habits can cause problems for us as well. Shouldn't it be crucial for us to constantly evolve and introduce new things into our worlds for us to thrive? New information, new books, new people, positive people, people making a difference, people following through with their goals people who are about more than just themselves.

Evolution is key to your existence. Life keeps going, moving, reaching and we must stay in the race. Lets always go against the "No's" and make whatever we want happen for ourselves. Who says we cant?