Thursday, April 30, 2009


I love to speak my future into existence! It is one of the best practices I have done and it is always worth it if you really focus and immerse yourself in your thoughts. I started doing this last year after I was going through some personal matters, I had also just finished watching the Secret and reading it, and saw all these testimonials from people partaking in this act of having a "Vision Board".

When you first hear something like this you automatically start to think skepticism, but the truth is what we think about with all our heart will manifest. You think you are broke, you will stay broke. You complain about a person in your life and what they DON'T do ..they will continue to do that..nothing. You hate your job, you stay there and continue hating it.

Buddha once said ""All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become." Try taking the flip side and actually thinking hard about all that you want and where you want to see yourself and I can guarantee you that some of it will start to happen gradually. You will start to see see your future even clearer.

Have a wonderful Weekend! Be Happy, LIVE and LOVE!


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Give me a reason why the cage bird should sing?

It is funny, when a fish lives in a tank his own life, or a bird lives in a cage, they think the magnitude in which they can swim or fly is just in that small area. They learn to move in that space to perfection, not risking too much, just making sure they don't bump into anything they know will already be there.

They don't have to think too hard because they know their environment like they know how to breathe. They are well adapted to everything in it, they pretty much can predict every second that is to happen...they are comfortable and have no worries.

BUT...what happens when you take that fish out the tank and drop him into the ocean? What happens to the bird who manages to fly out of that cage into a vast sky above him. A new world lies before them. A world that always existed but they never were able to explore, because they were confined to a space that was beyond their control. I say in that case, is it not the fish nor the bird's fault in their entrapment, it was never their choice to begin with.

What is your excuse?

Why do you stay on the block all day or chill on your couch when you can get on the train, in your car or walk to learn something new? Why do you sit behind a desk for a company that you hate when you can jump out the window for what makes you want to get out of bed everyday? Why do you stay in a stale relationship with someone that does not make you feel celebrated? Why do you continue to change yourself short in so many aspects of your life, when you are FREE to do as you please!

You are not the fish, or the bird, you actually have a say in your destiny. You are a child of GOD that actually can do ANYTHING that you want to do if you put your mind, effort and focus to it! Of course the road won't be an easy one. Nobody said anything that is worth it would be easy, but, I am sure that once you initiate some real centered purpose into your life, you will feel so much more meaning for it.

There is no excuse for being healthy and being lazy. It is an insult to those who are bed ridden, ill and unable to make decisions for themselves. Start holding yourself accountable for all the things that you want and desire and bring the richness of what life is supposed to be into fruition!

The caged bird has no real reason to sing in actuality, for he is stifled and trapped to his environment.

The willing and able individual who works hard, through blood sweat and tears and sacrifices much to get what it is he claimed a goal for, is the one who should lead the choir in a song and dance. That is a great reason to sing, celebrate and be proud!

Have a productive, insightful, fabulous sunny Tuesday!



Thursday, April 23, 2009

20's something + NYC = Sexual Musical Chairs...WHY?

NYC is what a friend of mine has once described as " Flashy Splashy and Extra". It is also a beautiful place to live, not only because it is the capital of all things FRESH and NEW, it's always something to do, and always SOMEBODY to do as well. How could people not be sooo physically stimulated in a city where finding a date/mate can feel like the 8th floor at SAKS ...tooo many FAB choices to choose from!

It makes it difficult for a person who is attractive, sensible, and driven to think of NOT getting the best of what this city has to offer, and in many cases that can include sampling some of someone elses "goodies", because hey....why not.

The bigger problem at hand occurs when the music stops and you are dealing with the person that has been with about 4 to 5 of your friends. SMH! Now for some, this does not matter, because hey, the past was the past and that should be the least of your worries, but then again if your current fling has been with Melissa, and you know Melissa has been through the hustlers/baller's/rappers/and Executive's of the tri-state and in addition you know she is not the most "hygienic" girl out the bunch..this can clearly make you wanna scream!!!!

It really is hard out here for some who pride giving up their round trip ticket to heaven so easily, especially when so many women will let anyone board their planes for free with no boarding pass. (figuratively speaking) . It is these women who make it hard out here for so many others, and then make it even harder to want to take something seriously with someone when you know where they have been and how they have been touched.

When it's all said and done...All is fair in love, and fabulousness in NYC..right? Brush your shoulders off and enjoy the youthfulness, adventure and excitement that comes along with mating season!

You know how it is when the weather breaks here....the music starts playing....and everybody is fighting for a nice "chair" to sit on. All I can say is just be safe!!!!

Have a FABNIFICENT weekend!!!! 80 degrees is on the come up!



Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Just make me Smile!

You ever received a compliment unexpected in the midst of doing something and it just made your day. It slowed you down and brought you back to the center of what matters in life. You ever been showered with affection and love out of the blue and it just made you feel like you were the most highly favored person on the planet. You ever discovered something really fabulous about someone that you didn't know before and it made you warm all over. You ever witnessed someone receiving the help or aide they so desperately needed and their gratitude is seeping out of their pours.

The smile creeps up from your mind first and then lands on your face, and it feels good!!! It feels good to your muscles, it feels good in your chest and it feels good to anyone around you as well. Smiles are contagious as they should be.

If you want to spend time with me and have me in your life you need to make me smile more than not. I need to feel good about your company and vice versa. This is what many of the young girls today should have as a requirement for some of the young boys who prove to be way more disrespectful and crude than sweet, yet the young girls still embrace some of these young men who are less than interested in putting a smile on their faces.

Can you really blame the young men who act this way or can we swing it back to the girls, and in many cases the women, who allow this type of behavior to be a standard and to happen continuously.

Girls, and women, must look for more when dealing with our opposites/the male species. We must set the tone for the relationships that we will foster with them. If its a friendship, an intimate relationship or a business relationship...Respect should always be the foundation and the thread that holds it together, that alone should bring a smile to your face!!!!

If you frown more than you smile with the ones you love in your life...then start cleaning up that space...and make room for ones that are healthy, enthusiastic and make you happy!


Enjoy your days and live out your nights smiling!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Socially Retarded...a new disease sweeping the masses!

The scenario can go a little something like this: Mia and Sasha have been friends since they both were shopping for training bras together. Throughout that time, they have built up a crew with them being the backbone of it. Mia starts a new job and meets Blair, and Mia hits it off with her almost instantly. Of course, once Mia and Sasha start making plans for the weekends and their busy fabulous social lives, Mia thinks ..hmm...I think I want Blair to come with us sometimes. She is smart, very pretty and extremely personable. Mia predicts she will fit right in with everyone and of course when Blair comes she is a hit with everybody EXCEPT Sasha! Why does this happen?

Why can't a new face, in most cases a woman, be introduced into a new circle without one person creating a ton of drama surrounding this individual and giving them the cold shoulder.

It all goes back to the first day of elementary school, if you didn't have a cousin or sibling your age, then you went at building your social crew alone. You were a little bit nervous and didn't know what to expect. You thought it would be the end of the world if you didn't find just ONE person you could talk to and latch on to like Velcro. Then once you got there and mingled everything seemed to be OK. There is always SOMEBODY to connect with.

That first day of school feeling happens quite often for young black socialites in NYC. Everyone seems to know EVERYONE or know OF them, and once your circles interchange for just a second while on the scene, at a friends game night or just out and about, you may feel put in that same space. God forbid it is a guy who is really digging you and he is a part of the circle you are trying to infiltrate, because you already know a handful of women in that circle are ready to politely attack.

I have been a social bug since I was 12, before then I was the shyest little girl in Brooklyn, my aunt would say. What happened I don't know. It was as if overnight I morphed into this sassy, opinionated, humorous being, that I like to say has stuck until today, and not ever have I contemplated toning down that part of me...ever. That part of me is always ON and that is how I have built various circles in my life. Granted some people get a dose of this and they are not a fan immediately, and that is fine, to each its own, but at least share your essence with someone new on occasions. It helps you to grow and it opens you up to new worlds.

What I realize is that when I invite some of the people in my life to various events, and functions and they come up with excuses like "hmm I don't think I can make it", I dunno", or "I don't want to be around that person" Like seriously GET over yourself! Mind you these are the same people who complain about not having anything to do, not going out enough and being home all the time.

So now you are telling me that you are going to miss out on an opportunity in which you can maybe network and be introduced to something NEW, along with meet some new people all because being there will take you out of your comfort zone, or are you really that afraid of being social with new people. In either case, both will keep you stagnant.

BE SOCIAL! I am not recommending that you make best friends with every single person that you meet, this has nothing to do with trust and building life long friendships. This has to do with sharing your thoughts, gifts, talents, dreams and ideas to someone who you never met before. I find that when I do this and meet new people it always leads me to a new venture, opportunity, and sometimes a friendship that ends up playing a major part of who I am.

As I have said before I believe this year, 2009... will bear many fruits! The number 9 in general is the most humanitarian of all numbers in the spiritual spectrum. Number 9 is also the number of mastery, it signifies the end of things, completion and closure. Meaning 2009 should represent the end of all the old habits and ways that have kept you back from achieving all the great things that are in store for you.

It is important that we do things out of our comfort zone. Be ALIVE, experience our environments, meet new people, have new conversations, expand on profound issues and get other perspectives on life.

Hope you all have a very socially friendly weekend!!!!


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The HIGH horse!

I guess it is safe to say that at some point in our life we will do something that is considered to be a "WOW" on some level, and place us on a pedestal. This may last for a second or a lifetime. It can happen at different magnitudes but when it does usually the person will bask in it. This is fine. Some people will say enjoy your "15 minutes", but one thing is for sure you never ever want that person to get LOST in themselves in the midst of the greatness that is happening around them.

I have seen this happen to so many people on so many different levels. It can be a girl who is dating a guy who is taking care of her and her lifestyle, it can be a guy who has a new job and his salary jumps him into six figure territory, it can be a young star on the rise just getting a taste of fame, or it can be the friends of the young star who are now exposed to a different elite. What all these people have in common is they have the tendency to get bit by this bug that makes them feel that they are superior and "better" than some of those around them who may not be in that same space.

It is one thing to work hard for something and to finally get it and to enjoy it, but when you start treating people less than what they truly mean to you and thinking you are better than them, then that is a problem. Most cases, the people who carry on in this type of behavior have not even reached any type of "pinnacle" of success and they probably never will because of this horrible attitude and behavior. It will be a block.

I personally, rarely deal with these type of people, and thankfully I haven't attracted that energy into my life but I have seen it happen to others close to me and it is really a disappointing thing to watch.

It is never admirable to make someone feel low or put them down and anyone who shows you an attitude that makes you feel this way, is showing you the essence of what they are made of and you don't need that type of person in your life.

Someone who is successful and doing great things should always want to share that with the people in their lives if they are close to them. They wouldn't close you out, they would invite you in, and they would be happy you were there with them to encourage them on to do more.

Stop making excuses for those who prove to you they are not what you need and start making cuts! The longer you keep pollution around you the more damage it does to you! Start to put yourself first and what makes you happy as an individual! All you have is you. Take care of that because no one else is obligated to.



Thursday, April 9, 2009

How do you kiss your future if you're still hugging up on your past in the present!

It is soooo easy to think that something that you once had, may it be a job, a relationship, or a living situation is so much better than what you have at the moment. Have you ever been in a situation that seems to be JUST right, everything fits in its place, but something from the past creeps into your current space and seems to throw EVERYTHING off. That is not by accident. It is supposed to throw it off, because it does not belong!

I know many women and men in relationships who have everything they need right in front of their nose, but they are holding on to some idea and emotion that they shared with someone else from their past and it prevents them from fully living and embracing the possibilities that this new, fresh love has to offer them. They do not even think about the leaps, bounds and heights that a new love, a new career or a new lifestyle can bring to their world if they just let it.

I was watching Sex and the City re-runs last night...(one of my all time favorite pastimes when I have some down time), and I was looking at the episode in which Carrie was just starting to date "Jack Burger", a fellow writer that she recently met. Everything was just PERFECT between them. They both laughed at the same things, he "got her" and she "got him", they could go on and on, about topics for hours, but what was happening was her ex "Mr. Big" was calling her every so often and having conversations with her that you would not usually have with your "friend".

She would entertain it and this would continue to go on until she finally had to say "STOP", I am seeing someone new and we cannot continue to carry on like this if we are "friends".

This happens all to often, all the time in reality. We do not fully close chapters and shut the door on experiences that left us vulnerable, unhappy and wanting more out of what it had to offer, yet we will allow those experiences with those people to gain re-entry into our lives, even when we have something FABULOUS already. Is this just the natural human tendency of greed, or are we saying we just cannot let go of the memories and feelings we once had for people and situations. Are we that mushy?

I don't believe the latter. I know for a fact that it is possible to close a chapter and leave it where...back there..but this takes time and it is a strenuous process. It does not happen easily and it really almost always just clicks with your spirit without you even knowing it one day. Something just moves you to say that "this is over, and I am fully through with that". You can try to force yourself into believing this before the magical click but the truth is YOU will get there when YOU are really and truly ready. keep something waiting on a string for you or close by because in your heart you really want to rekindle something with that individual, even through you tell yourself do. This even proves itself in Sex and the City, when Carrie ends up ultimately with Mr. Big. She let him be a painting on her wall for years, through his marriage, through her finding some pretty incredible men, through his move from NYC, through her engagement to someone else...and Still what was meant to be WAS "Them"!

This is the piece of the pie I think we all forget. When something is destined it is destined. Does not mean the road will be a swift one, and it may be easier for someone else to get where you are going, but if its meant for you to get to that will get there and the person who is SUPPOSED to be there with you when you get there will be there, because the universe will make sure it happens that way. How...I don't know. Life is funny, but there is a master plan.

This is how I have started to live me life. Just having the ultimate faith that whatever the powers that be have in store for me, God will bless me with the wisdom, patience, and understanding to get through, and to do it gracefully. Whoever is supposed to be my sister girl, my companion, my heart strings will be naturally and whatever service I am to do will unfold and touch those around me with a positive effect. This is all that is important, how we help and inspire one another.

We make things sooo complicated in life sometimes when in actuality it is really just easy living that makes it all work.

EASY = doing what you never feels like work, but it has the biggest payoffs!

EASY = embracing your emotions and being real with your feelings, not lying to yourself, but allowing your spirit to let you LOVE who you want to LOVE because you need to NOT because you HAVE to or you are supposed to.

EASY = Living life out loud! Being bold and moving like no one is ever watching! Free to be who you are with no restraints.

EASY = Putting fear in the incinerator and leaving it there! How can you embrace anything if fear walks with you always!

EASY= Smiling, Dancing, Laughing, Talking, Creativity... being HUMAN naturally!

Start living in the moment and taking advantage of all that the PRESENT has to offer! Life will happen!

Love you all!

Have a blessed weekend and LIVE it up!


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Wearing my GRATITUDE on my sleeves!

So...I have been on a "Blog Break" for the past week because I was blessed enough to go to Disney world through a project I am a part of with and Disney. My daughter and I were chosen along with my sister girl "Brie" and her 7 year old daughter, to go to Disney World, all expense paid and just "be", while the camera's rolled.

I must say that it was a FABTACULAR, AMAZING, there aren't enough adjectives, experience and I will never forget it! I met some amazing people throughout the experience and I was able to share this wonderful time with a friend of mine who I love dearly and is my family, along with having our daughters bond to the point they didn't want to leave each other.

We went to all the parks and experienced the magic that IS Disney. We hang-glided over California, we sailed through Egypt and the Asian empires. We took a time machine through space and saved the world. We watched Muppet Babies and Lion King come alive in front of our eyes, we found "Nemo" in a musical, we watched pyrotechnics at its best over the Netherlands seas, we ate some of the best Cuban food and crab legs on the planet. We had a love affair with the sun everyday. We touched snakes. We hugged Mickey and kissed Minnie. We laughed with Goofy. We rode race cars. We snapped pictures. We ate Turkey legs. We smiled for the cameras. We swam. We shopped and shopped and shopped. We had lunch with the Princesses of Disney. Our daughter's became Princesses. We laughed and played and talked about what we loved and gave testimonials to the gifts that we received!

I am in a complete state of gratitude and bliss. I never had such a great time at Disney EVER, and this is coming from a woman who parents took her almost every summer from when she was 8 years old. Maybe it was the fact that I now have my own little bundle of sunshine to share in this joy! Maybe it is because I was there with a mission, and the world will soon be able to witness this joy!

It could possibly be that I met some pretty phenomenal women in the process as well that I am hoping to continue a long, growing relationship with. The producers and crew behind this project were a force to be reckoned with. I would like to take this time to speak to two women who moved me:

Ms. Dorothy Williams you are a beautiful woman with a kindred spirit and you are making your mark in the world through your creative vision. Your vision is of substance and adds on to the "wellness" of what it is to be human. There needs to be more projects like this that speak to the goodness and captures the essence of what it means to be FAMILY and the things that embody that. You captured this with this project and I am overexcited to see the outcome!

Ms. Tomar...what can I say. You are a ball of good energy, humor and all around fun! You were there to make sure everything was in place and organized, and made sure what needed to happen when it was SUPPOSED to DID. I love you for that, and for being you!

I love you both! I think that one of the most powerful statements that I took away from this trip was when Dorothy said to me during a conversation about helping women, she said " I am in love with Black Women".. WHOA!

Here this beautiful black woman who is soon to be married (CONGRATS) telling me she is in love with black women. Of course, I knew what she meant and did not take that out of context but how often do you hear another woman (a successful woman at that) speak so open and honest about her affection and love for her fellow sisters and how much she is dedicated to helping them in getting to where they need to be.

My heart was full from the moment she said that, not just because she said it, but because she meant it and was proving it! Here I was, with one of my closest friends, enjoying a vacation, living life to the fullest with my,"family" all because of the vision and direction of this one woman. If that is not love then what is. She is doing something positive, she is sharing that positiveness with the world and she is adding on to the idea of togetherness and family.

I always say that I am not making things happen here by myself. I am always constantly in a state of acknowledging my many blessings and opportunities and giving thanks and speaking it out to the universe because my purpose and existence is bigger than me. Disney world was magnificent but the impact that it had on my daughter and her relationship with her friend, the relationship I have with my friend, and the new relationships that developed are priceless! Those are the gifts and blessings you cant measure into words!

I love you all for asking me " Dee..where is the blog"? "Whats going on"? You guys are my family and I love you for being the veins in my passion. I hope that you all take time to be in a state of gratitude. Speak it out! say what you are grateful for! No matter what you may not have at the moment.

Speak of the blessings that be..because sometimes all it takes is to acknowledge what you currently have to allow what you desire to manifest.

I will let you know when the footage will air so you all can see us and the other families enjoying the Magic of Disney World!

LOVE YOU ALL! Have a Tasteful Tuesday!