Thursday, April 16, 2009

Socially Retarded...a new disease sweeping the masses!

The scenario can go a little something like this: Mia and Sasha have been friends since they both were shopping for training bras together. Throughout that time, they have built up a crew with them being the backbone of it. Mia starts a new job and meets Blair, and Mia hits it off with her almost instantly. Of course, once Mia and Sasha start making plans for the weekends and their busy fabulous social lives, Mia thinks ..hmm...I think I want Blair to come with us sometimes. She is smart, very pretty and extremely personable. Mia predicts she will fit right in with everyone and of course when Blair comes she is a hit with everybody EXCEPT Sasha! Why does this happen?

Why can't a new face, in most cases a woman, be introduced into a new circle without one person creating a ton of drama surrounding this individual and giving them the cold shoulder.

It all goes back to the first day of elementary school, if you didn't have a cousin or sibling your age, then you went at building your social crew alone. You were a little bit nervous and didn't know what to expect. You thought it would be the end of the world if you didn't find just ONE person you could talk to and latch on to like Velcro. Then once you got there and mingled everything seemed to be OK. There is always SOMEBODY to connect with.

That first day of school feeling happens quite often for young black socialites in NYC. Everyone seems to know EVERYONE or know OF them, and once your circles interchange for just a second while on the scene, at a friends game night or just out and about, you may feel put in that same space. God forbid it is a guy who is really digging you and he is a part of the circle you are trying to infiltrate, because you already know a handful of women in that circle are ready to politely attack.

I have been a social bug since I was 12, before then I was the shyest little girl in Brooklyn, my aunt would say. What happened I don't know. It was as if overnight I morphed into this sassy, opinionated, humorous being, that I like to say has stuck until today, and not ever have I contemplated toning down that part of me...ever. That part of me is always ON and that is how I have built various circles in my life. Granted some people get a dose of this and they are not a fan immediately, and that is fine, to each its own, but at least share your essence with someone new on occasions. It helps you to grow and it opens you up to new worlds.

What I realize is that when I invite some of the people in my life to various events, and functions and they come up with excuses like "hmm I don't think I can make it", I dunno", or "I don't want to be around that person" Like seriously GET over yourself! Mind you these are the same people who complain about not having anything to do, not going out enough and being home all the time.

So now you are telling me that you are going to miss out on an opportunity in which you can maybe network and be introduced to something NEW, along with meet some new people all because being there will take you out of your comfort zone, or are you really that afraid of being social with new people. In either case, both will keep you stagnant.

BE SOCIAL! I am not recommending that you make best friends with every single person that you meet, this has nothing to do with trust and building life long friendships. This has to do with sharing your thoughts, gifts, talents, dreams and ideas to someone who you never met before. I find that when I do this and meet new people it always leads me to a new venture, opportunity, and sometimes a friendship that ends up playing a major part of who I am.

As I have said before I believe this year, 2009... will bear many fruits! The number 9 in general is the most humanitarian of all numbers in the spiritual spectrum. Number 9 is also the number of mastery, it signifies the end of things, completion and closure. Meaning 2009 should represent the end of all the old habits and ways that have kept you back from achieving all the great things that are in store for you.

It is important that we do things out of our comfort zone. Be ALIVE, experience our environments, meet new people, have new conversations, expand on profound issues and get other perspectives on life.

Hope you all have a very socially friendly weekend!!!!


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