Thursday, August 27, 2009

What will you be remembered for?

How long do you stay in a position before you realize your time there has gone stale?

For some reason recently, many people have been asking me for "career move advice", obviously there is no surprise that many people have been let go from their jobs, and re-evaluating what to do next, but, what about the fortunate people who have not lost their jobs. The people who are sitting in a position that they have been in for years and they are ready to be promoted but "due to the economy" are afraid to ask for a promotion.

I think this entire "economy" situation has been a mind manipulator. Yes there is no denying that the economy and the money that has been available has been limited...BUT that has nothing to do with what you are worth and what you deserve, and to allow the state of this economy to affect your ability to know and believe that, is inexcuasable for chasing your dreams. Self worth BEATS Net Worth.

There IS money out here and you CAN get some if you are dedicated and committed to allowing your talents (whatever they be)to shine and you sell yourself. You can be the most talented, singer, writer, dancer, stylist, administrator, etc. whatever it is at the end of the day, you have to make someone believe that you are too. You cannot have all this talent and not market it for yourself and then get madd when opportunities do not come your way. There isn't anyone who is capable of helping you, just sitting at home, thinking about you. You have to make yourself visible, noticeable and go for what you want vigorously.

Now if you are reading this and you don't know if it applies to you then ask yourself this...

1- Have you been doing the same exact thing for more than 2 years with no salary increase or promotion?

2- Do you HATE going in to your job everyday, and know EXACTLY what you want to do, and it isn't your current job?

3- Is there any positions at your job that you want and know you are the best fit for but have not applied for it out of FEAR?

If you can say YES to any of these three questions, then you need to stop making excuses for living in a mediocre, non-ambitious space and go after what you want.

There is no excuse!!!!

One of America's Original Successful Authors, Robert Collier once said "Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."

Read that quote and think about what you do DAY IN AND DAY OUT.

P.S. I am sitting here watching all this coverage on Ted Kennedy and his life.

It is sad that he has passed on but I see a man who came to this world, served his purpose and left his mark.

He will always be remembered for what he created for himself while he was here. He made an impact...and it is just more affirmation for me that this is our only mission.

What will you be remembered for?

Have a productive Thursday & a safe Weekend!!!


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

In simple form....

Is it my fault that I embraced you with open arms and smiles every time we shared the same space? Listening to your stories about your tired man, and how happy you were. Giving you advice about what your next step should be. Sharing a hard laugh with you and facial gestures as we both tried to figure out why we were laughing. Hey....not my fault. That is just me.

I welcomed you into my world because you were welcomed in by someone close to me. Maybe I can be at fault for that. Why couldn't I tell that you were a jealous, envious negative person? Then again, we all do not see what we have no knowledge of. If we had a radar for all the nonsense that people had under their sleeve we would never have relationships. a way should I be disgusted? Should any of us be disappointed when a person shows another side of who they are that is not what we like or expected.

The truth is most of the people we know don't even understand or know themselves. They have a tendency to be weak and will go along with what everybody else is doing. Second what everyone else is saying. Laugh at something everyone else may find funny and not take a stand and say that this is what I fear they will stand out and not fit in. I cannot identify with this person but I know they exist, and that is the balance in the world.

So...I have chosen and learned that it is not my place nor duty to allow the result of being upset, disappointed or mad when someone shows me a side of them that I am not used to nor like. I roll with the punches, and I smile for the battle is not mine and as the good book says "forgive them, for they know not what they do". (Luke 23:3)

Enjoy your day!

Be yourself.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

P.S. I LOVE YOU! (Yea you)...

Only you can make me feel like I am floating when I am really taking steps. You send me on an all time high, I don't need a drink, when I am with you. I can take you all in and its good enough for me. You give me the space to be me. You allow me to be free, to move as I like. You are like the sax that lies underneath my rhythm...what would it be without that SAX?

I think when you were created from perfection that is, it was in your destiny to meet me at the moment we did. It was only right that we had lived such drastically different lives with drastic differences and come to the same crossroad to align and be a reflection of what the other needed.

What type of emotion can make you spit out such infectious words, get a tingling sensation up your spine and make your heart spoon? There is something about the feeling you get when you are in love that makes everything feel a little bit more alive, everything you hears sounds a little bit clearer, and everything you see is a bit more beautiful than it was before.

Love can put you in a high and keep you on a high, and nobody but you and the other person can relate to it. You cannot tell your friend..."hit this", "Sip this", "try this", because the love you are IN is made custom for you and that person. NO SHARING! All they can do is get a whiff of the goodness that drips off of your spirit when they are in your presence, and if that is your true friend, that will be enough for them. They will be sooo happy and elated for your joy that, that is all they will need.

LOVE is something wonderful. I think of Love and I think of Stevie when he said in "AS":

Did you know that true love asks for nothing
Her acceptance is the way we pay
Did you know that life has given love a guarantee
To last through forever and another day
Just as time knew to move on since the beginning
And the seasons know exactly when to change
Just as kindness knows no shame
Know through all your joy and pain
That I'll be loving you always
As today I know I'm living but tomorrow
Could make me the past but that I mustn't fear
For I'll know deep in my mind
The love of me I've left behind Cause I'll be loving you always

Until the day is night and night becomes the day---ALWAYS
Until the trees and seas just up and fly away---ALWAYS
Until the day that 8x8x8 is 4---ALWAYS
Until the day that is the day that are no more
Did you know that you're loved by somebody?
Until the day the earth starts turning right to left---ALWAYS
Until the earth just for the sun denies itself
I'll be loving you forever
Until dear Mother Nature says her work is through---ALWAYS
Until the day that you are me and I am you---AL~~~~~~WA~~




Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Small Voice..BIG deal....

When it is all said in done, minus material things, minus our careers, minus our positions in the world, minus religion and minus race...we are simply human beings. I think many of us forget this...We are just that FIRST. A form of species. We are a species, an animal. We have the great abilities to create, invent and inspire unlike any other animal on the planet. We really are the only species on this planet that has so much freedom.

I experienced an interesting relationship 3 months ago with an individual that lasted a week...A WHOLE WEEK! It started off mellow and ended harshly. It was funny because our relationship really lasted a week! Why? Because I ended it and I was at peace with my decision. I had enough courage and wisdom to say this is just not going to work out anymore. I do not like the way you have been treating me on a HUMAN level, I do not like the way you speak to me on a HUMAN level, and I do not like the respect, concern and care you show me on a HUMAN level. So this has to be over.

Is it easy to do this? Absolutely not! The same way you can tell when something is just off in your body, or something is not quite right with your food, or you know you don't belong someplace but you stay anyway going against your gut, is the same way you know when a person just will not work and fit into your world. I have been the one who will force this sometimes for the benefits that may come from having someone in my life, but then you realize the detriment it causes in the long run is not worth it.

So what have I learned from that. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS listen to your instinct and the small voice that speaks to you. I am blessed that mine talks so loud and clear that I sometimes have to close my eyes and say are tooo loud! Then some of us have that tiny voice going off all the time and you have learned to ignore it so well that it sounds like humming and it never works for you.

I believe that the little voice is the tunnel or the channel line between you and GOD, or whatever higher power you believe in. I believe that once you really take a minute and listen to it, you will find that the little voice will never ever steer you wrong and always has your best interest in mind.

We don't take enough time to be still and to listen to the messages that come all throughout the day. It takes discipline and will to really WANT to do this, but once you do it, it is soo worth it.

Be loyal to you, Stay True to you, and keep people, places and things out of YOU that are no good for your advancement in life. All you have is...YOU! When things happen can always look to yourself for why.

PAY ATTENTION while you are still goes by fast.


Happy Tuesday!!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Bag full of Foes?

How many people can you call on if you really was stuck in a jam? Would you be able to put your closest friends names in a hat and just pick one and feel sure knowing they would be there...or would you have to really carefully strategically think about who could I call in this time of need?

I think this is absolutely ridiculous when you have a nice group of close friends and not one of them is willing to try to assist you in your time of need. Many people will let their ego get in the way of them wanting to ask a favor from someone who they think to be a close friend, but why?

If you cannot ask your closest friends for favors without them being less than happy to do them, then why are they close to you? Most likely this type of friend is a selfish, pompous individual who is looking out for his or her own best interest at all times and you or anyone else just exists in their world.

I think it is healthy to learn to say NO to those who never seem to reciprocate your friendship. If you are always over-extending yourself, and making sure the relationship between the you two of you is cozy and fit then make room in your life for that person to show what they can do for the relationship as well.

If there is anything we know about "People", they will do exactly what you allow them to do. Start to set the standard high in your friendships as well as intimate relationships. If you don't set the tone for you and what is expected then who will. Blame yourself and yourself only when you are treated less than fair, disrespected, abused or mistreated in any shape or form. You allowed it to happen. Point blank.

Of course some people come from years of emotional abuse from childhood and their self-esteems are damaged inside out and they do not have that strong persona to shut down any non-sense from anyone. In this case, the time is now. Learn to stand strong and to be your number one fan.

People are so disposable its ridiculous. They love you today and hate you tonight. But if you are in love with yourself the way you won't miss it at all.

Enjoy your weekend and be amongst the living!


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Learn to Love what you have while you have it.

We tend to hear "a good man is hard to find" but is that true?

I have met and know so many good men. The problem is that these good men are with women who are insecure, bitchy, naggers, complainers, and treat their men like they are toddlers in Pre-school. A man should always feel like a MAN! PERIOD. Unless he chooses otherwise. What is this new wave of treatment being bestowed upon men in relationships, where they allow their women to tell them how to act, what to say, what to do, where to go, when they can do it, how they can do it, what activities they can take part in, and what time they can be on their phones!

Don't get me wrong. RESPECT is RESPECT, and a good man will always respect the union he has with the woman he loves, but let him do him naturally and if he messes up...then he messes up, and that is to be dealt with accordingly. Do not discipline and guide a grown man to not be who he is naturally. What sense does that make? If I have to tell you how to love me and treat me, I could be alone.

This approach may appear a little "lackadaisical" to some women but it has been my experience that if you ever have to monitor and check on your man like you are getting a check cut from the Feds, then you maybe need to re-assess if you should be with that person at all. Something is clearly not right out the gate, and you will always feel that "Feeling" in your gut. So why force yourself to take it to the next level and check behind him, something is wrong with that picture.

Most times the man in this position is usually a really great, deserving guy who is not checking for the non-sense his woman thinks he is checking for, BUT, that woman has so much "triflarity" "insecurities" and "pyschonisms" (yes I made up some words for the purpose of this blog) that she causes her own sanity to slip away. The solution to the problem lies within her...not the man. She has to change herself!

The most bewildering part of this whole scenario is that the women in these relationships are never satisfied and complain about what their man is not doing. When they should ask themselves why would your man want to be excited about doing anything for anyone who is just a nagging, bitchy, negative ball of energy. You can't attract bees with no your man and let him live his life!

You may think you are on your job and there is nobody getting close to your man by your security efforts but guess what...he is unhappy inside and is waiting for the right outlet to let it all out and to be vulnerable to the opposite behavior you give off. You are pushing him away and making him feel imprisoned, restrained and unable to be him, and believe man wants to feel this way.

I can write 2 pages of names of men who come frustrated, and looking for advice from their crazed women, and the women have no clue how unhappy these men are. They do not know how if given the opportunity, the right woman can come and snatch their man up in a heartbeat, because she treats him right. And as the song goes, it comes as an epiphany.

Start appreciating the men in your life and treat them with respect, decency and admiration! Especially when they deserve it. What is wrong with you ..don't you know how many women wish they had a man who they could call THEIR OWN, and if you have one and you aren't loving him the right way...then remember she is waiting right there to show him what is really good.

Love the one's your with...especially when they deserve it!



Thursday, August 6, 2009

Do we RELATE? If not then this SHIP has sailed....

RE-LA-TION...SHIP. The words speaks for it self. We relate to ourselves very well. How we RELATE to another being can become tricky. Do we give ourselves selflessly, wholesome, and humbly or do we give scarcely, being conscious of how much we give, do we let them down with affection, admiration, love, support.

The relationships we foster over time with individuals sometimes loose the zest and life they once possessed and it disappears without you giving a second thought as to how to fix it. This is when you have given up and you are just co-existing. You never ever want to just "be" in anything..and not adding on in some way.

If you are in a relationship and I do not care HOW LONG it has been. You can have children, have a house, share assets, WHATEVER..if that person does not care enough to make an attempt to make the relationship between the two of you better then you two have nothing RELATE-ABLE any more and it is time for a new beginning.

I have never been one to settle for ANYTHING. I think this can be a blessing and a curse but at the end of it all, I can live with me and I am usually smiling more than frowning. I love myself way too much to stay in anything that is causing me discomfort and pain. So when I naturally see those in my life going through these emotions, yes it is very easy for me to say "MOVE ON". "Leave it alone" Let go...and LET GOD. Only because I know the long term benefit, and you will thank yourself later.

We make things more complicated than they need to be. We like to bring religion, morale, and all these other man made ideas into play when we know what we need to do in our hearts. We usually know the answer to what we need to do to make us happy and fulfill OUR destiny the way it should be, but we stall and we wait and we say its not the right time, and we take everyone's feelings and thoughts, along with what they are going to think into consideration before we actually DO what WE need to do.

Well I got news for you....Time is of the essence. Life is not promised and whatever you see for yourself, adhere to making it happen TODAY because your tomorrow may never come, and that is just the simple truth.

Live for you and your children if you have them. Go and chase every opportunity like it's your only mission in life. Get that career you always wanted, Get that man you always wanted, Let go of that man who treats you like an OPTION, Love the woman you have the right way before she gets its from some place else, Go have dinner with your closest girlfriend, Spend the day with your boys and just relax, Have a conversation with your parents, Ask your children how was their day and LISTEN. Be one with yourself and take time to listen to what is really going on in your brain.

BE EXTRA-ORDINARY....Being average is for the ordinary people.

Love you all!

Have a safe and marvelous weekend!


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

These shoes were made for walking....

I grew up hearing the phrase "What comes up must come down". Not only is this a known fact in physics, but can be applied all day, everyday in life. We feel like we are at the top for so long, living the life, everything is perfect, and then out the blue something can come and knock us off our throne and tell us "Now deal with this"! Life is full of unexpected events and surprises. Man, if I had a dime donated to me for every time life threw me a curve ball I could start a trust fund with the proceeds.

Of course it can be one of the most devastating and depressing times of your life when you work hard for something, look forward to something and bank on something to be a certain way and it just does not go so. How do you handle that? What do you do?

It is important to know that nothing is the end of the world. I don't care WHAT happens or what appears to be causing you grief. We have the power to change and make things happen the way we truly want and some time our decisions can be the ultimate reason of our demise.

Sometimes when you feel at your lowest point and you cry and you just feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, just at the next moment a blessing comes through and wipes your tears away and makes everything so much better. You realize that you are not ever ever alone and that you will get what you need and what is for you in the time you can handle it.

I take so much pride in all that I have ever struggled through and gave blood sweat and tears for because it makes me so much stronger and helped me to walk around with an appreciation that you can't easily find. I am grateful for it all, and happy I am who I am. God lives through me and you too and nothing is never TOO much.