Any man who has the genuine love of a woman...(and this can be vice versa) has a tremendous blessing. To truly be in love with another individual past what they own, who they know, their material possessions, and what they can do for YOU, can sometimes seem non-existence in this day.
There was a time when people fell in love with someone based on who they were and what they stood for. They loved the character, integrity, respect, dreams and philosophies that another person possessed. Now a days they see how much can this guy buy me? What can he do for me? How big is his bank account? How fine he is. Who does he know that I can get around and try to get closer to advance myself? The list can go on. Forget actually having conversation and getting to know everything about the person.
OH...and it's not just women...men can participate in this as well.
Some men will be with a woman who can take care of their every need. They will secure a relationship that is suitable for what they need in their life for the moment. If a man has no motivation to get up and work, he will stay with a woman who is not the "one" for him just so he can live rent free, she can cook his meals, and all he has to do is lay her down on her back once in a while to keep her happy.
When a person is being used ...I believe they know it.
They know something is off and they are not being 100% loved in the way Love was intended, but they stay in a bad situation for as long as the comfort zone remains. Relationships are a cooperative effort. A partnership. Team work. In my opinion there should never be a relationship in which someone is doing most or all of the work. I am not saying there is something wrong with a man holding down a household and taking care of the bulk of the financial load, because many of our men were raised to do this, BUT, if you are blessed to have a good man, ladies at least take care of home. Take care of him. Make his life easier, be nurturing, catering and sensitive to the way he feels and the things he wants. Share in his joy and share his world. Be a part of what makes him happy, you are probably the main component of that happiness when you are at your best.
Men...if a lady is holding you down and doing all that she can to make it work for you, then do your share as well. Make her feel like a Queen. Make her feel beautiful without having to say a word. Pay attention to her, love her and be responsive to all her needs. Work to become best friends even though you are lovers. It's the best way to RELATE to your partner. Share your feelings your thoughts, dreams with each other and love with all you have.
Take time to evaluate what your self-worth is and how it relates to the one you lay next to. It may be an eye opener.
LOVE...
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Mary Mary Quite Contrary..how does your garden grow?
Who are you? Know really. One day I see you say this, the next I see you do something else. One day you are surrounding yourself with wolves, the next with sheep. Will the REAL you please stand up.
This question comes up many times for me with various people in my world. Yes, people are constantly evolving, as they should, but let us all hope and pray that the evolution is positive and for the good. I am seeing more and more people evolve backwards. They surround themselves with people who are not a reflection of their greatness, talent and potential,which leads them to participating in activities that are not a reflection of who they truly are.
Usually this would not be a concern of yours, after all, your friend is a grown adult who can make their own decisions...right?
But...what happens when you genuinely care and you want to see better for that person?
I have watched this same behavior happen often more recently in my life. It is hard to try to understand why or what causes people to say one thing and do the opposite but you can control those type of people in your world. You have to be responsible for your life, and that includes who you allow to permeate your circle and play a part in your life.
All I can do is say live by example. Keep your word, and live in accordance to what makes you happy and your life. If other people are not on your same page any more...then be courageous enough to give those relationships time and space to become what they are. Stay focused and on YOUR track.
SMILE TODAY...OFTEN!
This question comes up many times for me with various people in my world. Yes, people are constantly evolving, as they should, but let us all hope and pray that the evolution is positive and for the good. I am seeing more and more people evolve backwards. They surround themselves with people who are not a reflection of their greatness, talent and potential,which leads them to participating in activities that are not a reflection of who they truly are.
Usually this would not be a concern of yours, after all, your friend is a grown adult who can make their own decisions...right?
But...what happens when you genuinely care and you want to see better for that person?
I have watched this same behavior happen often more recently in my life. It is hard to try to understand why or what causes people to say one thing and do the opposite but you can control those type of people in your world. You have to be responsible for your life, and that includes who you allow to permeate your circle and play a part in your life.
All I can do is say live by example. Keep your word, and live in accordance to what makes you happy and your life. If other people are not on your same page any more...then be courageous enough to give those relationships time and space to become what they are. Stay focused and on YOUR track.
SMILE TODAY...OFTEN!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Fighting Temptations...
"The grass is not always greener on the other side", that is what they say. I say...you wont ever know the shade, tent, smell and feel of the grass if you never experienced it. If you never walked on it, you never rolled through it, you never played Frisbee on it on a sunny day. You never even maintained the grass, kept it low. How can you truly say that the grass isn't greener?
I have said time and time again that I believe experience is the best teacher. Always! I have recently been seeing and watching people sacrifice good opportunities, and great relationships because they are curious about what life is like on the other side of the fence. NOW...here is the stipulation. Even though I think that it is important that you experience life and go with your gut, it is extremely important that you do not let GLUTTONY and SELFISHNESS be the reason why you do it.
There is a big difference between the young lady who has a great, great, guy who makes it his mission in life to make sure that she is good. He makes her feel like a queen, helps her when she needs help, comforts her when she needs it, caters to her needs, respects her, in tune with her emotionally, and spiritually and is an all around great addition to who she is.
Compare this to the woman who stays in a relationship with a man who she hardly sees, who has to make an appointment to spend time with her man. A man who makes her and her needs an option. Does not cater to her mentally, spiritually, or emotionally. Makes her feel like she is just another one.
Which scenario is worth taking a test drive if another person or opportunity comes though. I can say that I would never ever tell someone who is unhappy, even if they were in a relationship not to remain OPEN to the possibilities of what you want in your life if it is clearly not present.
Unfortunately, what is happening is people who are in some pretty great relationships are not respecting them. They are stepping out to see if they can get more...they are interested in being GREEDY and not being in a state of gratitude with the person who is in their lives, who doe not deserve to be betrayed.
I think it is a sad situation when you have everything that you NEED and WANT and you still refuse to fight off the urge to explore more. At what expense do you hurt the next person? Do you even care? It seems that some of us will just never ever be satisfied.
Before you decide to break that person's heart and make a deposit into your own karma..think....How much your neighbor wish they had someone to love and grow with as you already have.
Have a wonderful day!!!!
I have said time and time again that I believe experience is the best teacher. Always! I have recently been seeing and watching people sacrifice good opportunities, and great relationships because they are curious about what life is like on the other side of the fence. NOW...here is the stipulation. Even though I think that it is important that you experience life and go with your gut, it is extremely important that you do not let GLUTTONY and SELFISHNESS be the reason why you do it.
There is a big difference between the young lady who has a great, great, guy who makes it his mission in life to make sure that she is good. He makes her feel like a queen, helps her when she needs help, comforts her when she needs it, caters to her needs, respects her, in tune with her emotionally, and spiritually and is an all around great addition to who she is.
Compare this to the woman who stays in a relationship with a man who she hardly sees, who has to make an appointment to spend time with her man. A man who makes her and her needs an option. Does not cater to her mentally, spiritually, or emotionally. Makes her feel like she is just another one.
Which scenario is worth taking a test drive if another person or opportunity comes though. I can say that I would never ever tell someone who is unhappy, even if they were in a relationship not to remain OPEN to the possibilities of what you want in your life if it is clearly not present.
Unfortunately, what is happening is people who are in some pretty great relationships are not respecting them. They are stepping out to see if they can get more...they are interested in being GREEDY and not being in a state of gratitude with the person who is in their lives, who doe not deserve to be betrayed.
I think it is a sad situation when you have everything that you NEED and WANT and you still refuse to fight off the urge to explore more. At what expense do you hurt the next person? Do you even care? It seems that some of us will just never ever be satisfied.
Before you decide to break that person's heart and make a deposit into your own karma..think....How much your neighbor wish they had someone to love and grow with as you already have.
Have a wonderful day!!!!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Relate, Regroup & Release,
As I drove back to my house today after getting some breakfast, I noticed a couple in a Maxima. The young man was in the passenger seat and the girl was driving. As she pulled up to the front of the train station, she got out and so did he, in which she held the door and he got into the drivers seat. It was obvious she was on her way to work and he was taking her car, to go about his day.
The problem for me was not in the fact that she was basically giving him her car while she was at work, but how when she got out he didn't even acknowledge her. No goodbye kiss, no hug, not even a "have a great day". That was the problem.
So many times..and more often than usual I find my ladies OVER extending themselves to the men in their lives. They do, do and do some more...not receiving the littlest reciprocation from their men. I have seen situations where the man does not even get up and TRY to earn money to help the woman who breaks her back day in and day out to make sure the bills are paid. What sort of life is this?
I am not saying that we should live in old school traditions in all areas in our lives but a man should want to provide and add on for his lady and family (if they have one) and if he does not, and you are doing EVERYTHING then where is the team work or strength in that. To make matters worst, when she is out here bettering herself and her life, his attitude is very non-chalet and he does not praise you and make you feel appreciated as he should.
I felt so bad for the young lady today because it was as if she was waiting for her guy to do something...say something...and he just pulled off. As a woman, no words had to be said, no background information had to be given, no story...it was an unsaid disappointment, and let down of expectations..something I believe all of us women have felt at some point in our lives from the one we love.
I pray for my women and my girls who give give and give to men who don't deserve it. So for those who take our nurturing, our catering nature and our selflessness for granted, regroup and release them. They do not deserve the goodness that God works through you.
Find someone who is a reflection of the light you give off and don't be afraid to be alone either. It is when we finally let go of something, that the most beautiful blessings are welcomed unexpectedly into our lives.
Love...
The problem for me was not in the fact that she was basically giving him her car while she was at work, but how when she got out he didn't even acknowledge her. No goodbye kiss, no hug, not even a "have a great day". That was the problem.
So many times..and more often than usual I find my ladies OVER extending themselves to the men in their lives. They do, do and do some more...not receiving the littlest reciprocation from their men. I have seen situations where the man does not even get up and TRY to earn money to help the woman who breaks her back day in and day out to make sure the bills are paid. What sort of life is this?
I am not saying that we should live in old school traditions in all areas in our lives but a man should want to provide and add on for his lady and family (if they have one) and if he does not, and you are doing EVERYTHING then where is the team work or strength in that. To make matters worst, when she is out here bettering herself and her life, his attitude is very non-chalet and he does not praise you and make you feel appreciated as he should.
I felt so bad for the young lady today because it was as if she was waiting for her guy to do something...say something...and he just pulled off. As a woman, no words had to be said, no background information had to be given, no story...it was an unsaid disappointment, and let down of expectations..something I believe all of us women have felt at some point in our lives from the one we love.
I pray for my women and my girls who give give and give to men who don't deserve it. So for those who take our nurturing, our catering nature and our selflessness for granted, regroup and release them. They do not deserve the goodness that God works through you.
Find someone who is a reflection of the light you give off and don't be afraid to be alone either. It is when we finally let go of something, that the most beautiful blessings are welcomed unexpectedly into our lives.
Love...
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Ignorance Demon is running rampid.....look to your left..
As a new season enters and is approaching...It's time to pack away the old and pull out the new. This can apply to clothes, environments, activities and people. I am in the process of purging people from my life who do not have any place there. They may have had a place at some point, but clearly they have made it obvious they no longer do.
Life and opportunity is of the moment and what time do we have to waste with those who are negative, inconsiderate, insensitive, and non ambitious. In addition to having issues that are so deeply rooted in their well being that they may have some trouble seeing their flaws and understanding why you have elevated from who they choose to be.
New season's bring new blessings, if you welcome them in. Be who you are naturally and deflect the ignorance demon that is bound to try to creep into your space on the daily. This demon can possess anyone and anything and try to cloud your vision, but you know better. You can spot it a mile away and you should be able to walk away from it EASILY because you know who you and it's soo much more than what is being presented to you.
Be Wise..Remain the bright spot in the room, and live your dreams out loud, you may need to loose some people and things along the way....but as they say "Pack lighter you get further".
Happy Tuesday!!!
Life and opportunity is of the moment and what time do we have to waste with those who are negative, inconsiderate, insensitive, and non ambitious. In addition to having issues that are so deeply rooted in their well being that they may have some trouble seeing their flaws and understanding why you have elevated from who they choose to be.
New season's bring new blessings, if you welcome them in. Be who you are naturally and deflect the ignorance demon that is bound to try to creep into your space on the daily. This demon can possess anyone and anything and try to cloud your vision, but you know better. You can spot it a mile away and you should be able to walk away from it EASILY because you know who you and it's soo much more than what is being presented to you.
Be Wise..Remain the bright spot in the room, and live your dreams out loud, you may need to loose some people and things along the way....but as they say "Pack lighter you get further".
Happy Tuesday!!!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
P.S. I LOVE YOU! (Yea you)...
Only you can make me feel like I am floating when I am really taking steps. You send me on an all time high, I don't need a drink, when I am with you. I can take you all in and its good enough for me. You give me the space to be me. You allow me to be free, to move as I like. You are like the sax that lies underneath my rhythm...what would it be without that SAX?
I think when you were created from perfection that is, it was in your destiny to meet me at the moment we did. It was only right that we had lived such drastically different lives with drastic differences and come to the same crossroad to align and be a reflection of what the other needed.
What type of emotion can make you spit out such infectious words, get a tingling sensation up your spine and make your heart spoon? There is something about the feeling you get when you are in love that makes everything feel a little bit more alive, everything you hears sounds a little bit clearer, and everything you see is a bit more beautiful than it was before.
Love can put you in a high and keep you on a high, and nobody but you and the other person can relate to it. You cannot tell your friend..."hit this", "Sip this", "try this", because the love you are IN is made custom for you and that person. NO SHARING! All they can do is get a whiff of the goodness that drips off of your spirit when they are in your presence, and if that is your true friend, that will be enough for them. They will be sooo happy and elated for your joy that, that is all they will need.
LOVE is something wonderful. I think of Love and I think of Stevie when he said in "AS":
Did you know that true love asks for nothing
Her acceptance is the way we pay
Did you know that life has given love a guarantee
To last through forever and another day
Just as time knew to move on since the beginning
And the seasons know exactly when to change
Just as kindness knows no shame
Know through all your joy and pain
That I'll be loving you always
As today I know I'm living but tomorrow
Could make me the past but that I mustn't fear
For I'll know deep in my mind
The love of me I've left behind Cause I'll be loving you always
Until the day is night and night becomes the day---ALWAYS
Until the trees and seas just up and fly away---ALWAYS
Until the day that 8x8x8 is 4---ALWAYS
Until the day that is the day that are no more
Did you know that you're loved by somebody?
Until the day the earth starts turning right to left---ALWAYS
Until the earth just for the sun denies itself
I'll be loving you forever
Until dear Mother Nature says her work is through---ALWAYS
Until the day that you are me and I am you---AL~~~~~~WA~~
~~~~~AA~~~~~~~AA~~~~
LOVE YOU ALL! FIND LOVE! BE IN LOVE! EMBRACE LOVE...FROM EVERYWHERE!!!!!!
Have a LOVE FILLED FABTACULAR WEEKEND!!!!!
XOXOXO!
I think when you were created from perfection that is, it was in your destiny to meet me at the moment we did. It was only right that we had lived such drastically different lives with drastic differences and come to the same crossroad to align and be a reflection of what the other needed.
What type of emotion can make you spit out such infectious words, get a tingling sensation up your spine and make your heart spoon? There is something about the feeling you get when you are in love that makes everything feel a little bit more alive, everything you hears sounds a little bit clearer, and everything you see is a bit more beautiful than it was before.
Love can put you in a high and keep you on a high, and nobody but you and the other person can relate to it. You cannot tell your friend..."hit this", "Sip this", "try this", because the love you are IN is made custom for you and that person. NO SHARING! All they can do is get a whiff of the goodness that drips off of your spirit when they are in your presence, and if that is your true friend, that will be enough for them. They will be sooo happy and elated for your joy that, that is all they will need.
LOVE is something wonderful. I think of Love and I think of Stevie when he said in "AS":
Did you know that true love asks for nothing
Her acceptance is the way we pay
Did you know that life has given love a guarantee
To last through forever and another day
Just as time knew to move on since the beginning
And the seasons know exactly when to change
Just as kindness knows no shame
Know through all your joy and pain
That I'll be loving you always
As today I know I'm living but tomorrow
Could make me the past but that I mustn't fear
For I'll know deep in my mind
The love of me I've left behind Cause I'll be loving you always
Until the day is night and night becomes the day---ALWAYS
Until the trees and seas just up and fly away---ALWAYS
Until the day that 8x8x8 is 4---ALWAYS
Until the day that is the day that are no more
Did you know that you're loved by somebody?
Until the day the earth starts turning right to left---ALWAYS
Until the earth just for the sun denies itself
I'll be loving you forever
Until dear Mother Nature says her work is through---ALWAYS
Until the day that you are me and I am you---AL~~~~~~WA~~
~~~~~AA~~~~~~~AA~~~~
LOVE YOU ALL! FIND LOVE! BE IN LOVE! EMBRACE LOVE...FROM EVERYWHERE!!!!!!
Have a LOVE FILLED FABTACULAR WEEKEND!!!!!
XOXOXO!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Learn to Love what you have while you have it.
We tend to hear "a good man is hard to find" but is that true?
I have met and know so many good men. The problem is that these good men are with women who are insecure, bitchy, naggers, complainers, and treat their men like they are toddlers in Pre-school. A man should always feel like a MAN! PERIOD. Unless he chooses otherwise. What is this new wave of treatment being bestowed upon men in relationships, where they allow their women to tell them how to act, what to say, what to do, where to go, when they can do it, how they can do it, what activities they can take part in, and what time they can be on their phones!
Don't get me wrong. RESPECT is RESPECT, and a good man will always respect the union he has with the woman he loves, but let him do him naturally and if he messes up...then he messes up, and that is to be dealt with accordingly. Do not discipline and guide a grown man to not be who he is naturally. What sense does that make? If I have to tell you how to love me and treat me, I could be alone.
This approach may appear a little "lackadaisical" to some women but it has been my experience that if you ever have to monitor and check on your man like you are getting a check cut from the Feds, then you maybe need to re-assess if you should be with that person at all. Something is clearly not right out the gate, and you will always feel that "Feeling" in your gut. So why force yourself to take it to the next level and check behind him, something is wrong with that picture.
Most times the man in this position is usually a really great, deserving guy who is not checking for the non-sense his woman thinks he is checking for, BUT, that woman has so much "triflarity" "insecurities" and "pyschonisms" (yes I made up some words for the purpose of this blog) that she causes her own sanity to slip away. The solution to the problem lies within her...not the man. She has to change herself!
The most bewildering part of this whole scenario is that the women in these relationships are never satisfied and complain about what their man is not doing. When they should ask themselves why would your man want to be excited about doing anything for anyone who is just a nagging, bitchy, negative ball of energy. You can't attract bees with no honey...be sweet...love your man and let him live his life!
You may think you are on your job and there is nobody getting close to your man by your security efforts but guess what...he is unhappy inside and is waiting for the right outlet to let it all out and to be vulnerable to the opposite behavior you give off. You are pushing him away and making him feel imprisoned, restrained and unable to be him, and believe me...no man wants to feel this way.
I can write 2 pages of names of men who come frustrated, and looking for advice from their crazed women, and the women have no clue how unhappy these men are. They do not know how if given the opportunity, the right woman can come and snatch their man up in a heartbeat, because she treats him right. And as the song goes, it comes as an epiphany.
Start appreciating the men in your life and treat them with respect, decency and admiration! Especially when they deserve it. What is wrong with you ..don't you know how many women wish they had a man who they could call THEIR OWN, and if you have one and you aren't loving him the right way...then remember she is waiting right there to show him what is really good.
Love the one's your with...especially when they deserve it!
LOVE LIFE LAUGH! PLENTY!
XOXOXO!
I have met and know so many good men. The problem is that these good men are with women who are insecure, bitchy, naggers, complainers, and treat their men like they are toddlers in Pre-school. A man should always feel like a MAN! PERIOD. Unless he chooses otherwise. What is this new wave of treatment being bestowed upon men in relationships, where they allow their women to tell them how to act, what to say, what to do, where to go, when they can do it, how they can do it, what activities they can take part in, and what time they can be on their phones!
Don't get me wrong. RESPECT is RESPECT, and a good man will always respect the union he has with the woman he loves, but let him do him naturally and if he messes up...then he messes up, and that is to be dealt with accordingly. Do not discipline and guide a grown man to not be who he is naturally. What sense does that make? If I have to tell you how to love me and treat me, I could be alone.
This approach may appear a little "lackadaisical" to some women but it has been my experience that if you ever have to monitor and check on your man like you are getting a check cut from the Feds, then you maybe need to re-assess if you should be with that person at all. Something is clearly not right out the gate, and you will always feel that "Feeling" in your gut. So why force yourself to take it to the next level and check behind him, something is wrong with that picture.
Most times the man in this position is usually a really great, deserving guy who is not checking for the non-sense his woman thinks he is checking for, BUT, that woman has so much "triflarity" "insecurities" and "pyschonisms" (yes I made up some words for the purpose of this blog) that she causes her own sanity to slip away. The solution to the problem lies within her...not the man. She has to change herself!
The most bewildering part of this whole scenario is that the women in these relationships are never satisfied and complain about what their man is not doing. When they should ask themselves why would your man want to be excited about doing anything for anyone who is just a nagging, bitchy, negative ball of energy. You can't attract bees with no honey...be sweet...love your man and let him live his life!
You may think you are on your job and there is nobody getting close to your man by your security efforts but guess what...he is unhappy inside and is waiting for the right outlet to let it all out and to be vulnerable to the opposite behavior you give off. You are pushing him away and making him feel imprisoned, restrained and unable to be him, and believe me...no man wants to feel this way.
I can write 2 pages of names of men who come frustrated, and looking for advice from their crazed women, and the women have no clue how unhappy these men are. They do not know how if given the opportunity, the right woman can come and snatch their man up in a heartbeat, because she treats him right. And as the song goes, it comes as an epiphany.
Start appreciating the men in your life and treat them with respect, decency and admiration! Especially when they deserve it. What is wrong with you ..don't you know how many women wish they had a man who they could call THEIR OWN, and if you have one and you aren't loving him the right way...then remember she is waiting right there to show him what is really good.
Love the one's your with...especially when they deserve it!
LOVE LIFE LAUGH! PLENTY!
XOXOXO!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Do we RELATE? If not then this SHIP has sailed....
RE-LA-TION...SHIP. The words speaks for it self. We relate to ourselves very well. How we RELATE to another being can become tricky. Do we give ourselves selflessly, wholesome, and humbly or do we give scarcely, being conscious of how much we give, do we let them down with affection, admiration, love, support.
The relationships we foster over time with individuals sometimes loose the zest and life they once possessed and it disappears without you giving a second thought as to how to fix it. This is when you have given up and you are just co-existing. You never ever want to just "be" in anything..and not adding on in some way.
If you are in a relationship and I do not care HOW LONG it has been. You can have children, have a house, share assets, WHATEVER..if that person does not care enough to make an attempt to make the relationship between the two of you better then you two have nothing RELATE-ABLE any more and it is time for a new beginning.
I have never been one to settle for ANYTHING. I think this can be a blessing and a curse but at the end of it all, I can live with me and I am usually smiling more than frowning. I love myself way too much to stay in anything that is causing me discomfort and pain. So when I naturally see those in my life going through these emotions, yes it is very easy for me to say "MOVE ON". "Leave it alone" Let go...and LET GOD. Only because I know the long term benefit, and you will thank yourself later.
We make things more complicated than they need to be. We like to bring religion, morale, and all these other man made ideas into play when we know what we need to do in our hearts. We usually know the answer to what we need to do to make us happy and fulfill OUR destiny the way it should be, but we stall and we wait and we say its not the right time, and we take everyone's feelings and thoughts, along with what they are going to think into consideration before we actually DO what WE need to do.
Well I got news for you....Time is of the essence. Life is not promised and whatever you see for yourself, adhere to making it happen TODAY because your tomorrow may never come, and that is just the simple truth.
Live for you and your children if you have them. Go and chase every opportunity like it's your only mission in life. Get that career you always wanted, Get that man you always wanted, Let go of that man who treats you like an OPTION, Love the woman you have the right way before she gets its from some place else, Go have dinner with your closest girlfriend, Spend the day with your boys and just relax, Have a conversation with your parents, Ask your children how was their day and LISTEN. Be one with yourself and take time to listen to what is really going on in your brain.
BE EXTRA-ORDINARY....Being average is for the ordinary people.
Love you all!
Have a safe and marvelous weekend!
XOXOXO
The relationships we foster over time with individuals sometimes loose the zest and life they once possessed and it disappears without you giving a second thought as to how to fix it. This is when you have given up and you are just co-existing. You never ever want to just "be" in anything..and not adding on in some way.
If you are in a relationship and I do not care HOW LONG it has been. You can have children, have a house, share assets, WHATEVER..if that person does not care enough to make an attempt to make the relationship between the two of you better then you two have nothing RELATE-ABLE any more and it is time for a new beginning.
I have never been one to settle for ANYTHING. I think this can be a blessing and a curse but at the end of it all, I can live with me and I am usually smiling more than frowning. I love myself way too much to stay in anything that is causing me discomfort and pain. So when I naturally see those in my life going through these emotions, yes it is very easy for me to say "MOVE ON". "Leave it alone" Let go...and LET GOD. Only because I know the long term benefit, and you will thank yourself later.
We make things more complicated than they need to be. We like to bring religion, morale, and all these other man made ideas into play when we know what we need to do in our hearts. We usually know the answer to what we need to do to make us happy and fulfill OUR destiny the way it should be, but we stall and we wait and we say its not the right time, and we take everyone's feelings and thoughts, along with what they are going to think into consideration before we actually DO what WE need to do.
Well I got news for you....Time is of the essence. Life is not promised and whatever you see for yourself, adhere to making it happen TODAY because your tomorrow may never come, and that is just the simple truth.
Live for you and your children if you have them. Go and chase every opportunity like it's your only mission in life. Get that career you always wanted, Get that man you always wanted, Let go of that man who treats you like an OPTION, Love the woman you have the right way before she gets its from some place else, Go have dinner with your closest girlfriend, Spend the day with your boys and just relax, Have a conversation with your parents, Ask your children how was their day and LISTEN. Be one with yourself and take time to listen to what is really going on in your brain.
BE EXTRA-ORDINARY....Being average is for the ordinary people.
Love you all!
Have a safe and marvelous weekend!
XOXOXO
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Love thy Neighbor
I remember when I used to work at the New York Times, this young lady and I ( who I will refrain from saying her name) would go to lunch and talk every day about everything under the sun. She was sometimes my bright patch in a dull, non interesting day. I think of her because when she and I would get together, and we still sometimes do, no matter what I am feeling, how bad the day was or what I had going on, she can make me smile, and realize "It's not that bad".
Some people have the adverse affects on you unfortunately. If you are down and out they can make you actually feel worst if that is possible. How they do this is mainly based on the fact that they are miserable themselves, but if you know that in advance then you are able to stay clear.
Anyway...If I were to complain about something or wish something did not happen the way it did, she would say to me "Oh Dee, Stop Crying". I used to get a little bothered like "I am not crying, but don't I have the right to be annoyed"? "No you don't, you think you have problems check out your neighbor". How right she was, and what a lesson she taught me indirectly without even knowing she taught it to me.
When I usually check out "my neighbor" I realize that yes they have just as many problems, and many times they are 10 times worst. I do not know if it is because we are so INTO ourselves that we can not usually see how self absorbed and petty we are when it comes to little things concerning us, or is it really the end of the world?
I have learned that it is never the end of the world..whatever goes down will eventually come up and times and life are like a roller coaster, but that is fine. It is all about how you MAN UP while you are on that ride. Will you scream to the top of your lungs with your eyes closed and not look at the threatening heights, the falls, the drops...or will you hold on tight, be a little cautious at times but still pay witness and respect the process.
People are a very important aspect of who we are and how we deal. Many people like to say they don't need nobody. They can do it on their own. Them and that's it. I disagree...Life will be boring, you will miss out on gems and you will not build the most important thing while on earth...meaningful and impactful relationships.
Be Genuine with people and give them your all when you feel that it is right to. We are our best kept secrets, when we work together, encourage and motivate one another. Just pick your company like you would fresh veggies, carefully!
BE A FORCE!
XOXOXOXO
Some people have the adverse affects on you unfortunately. If you are down and out they can make you actually feel worst if that is possible. How they do this is mainly based on the fact that they are miserable themselves, but if you know that in advance then you are able to stay clear.
Anyway...If I were to complain about something or wish something did not happen the way it did, she would say to me "Oh Dee, Stop Crying". I used to get a little bothered like "I am not crying, but don't I have the right to be annoyed"? "No you don't, you think you have problems check out your neighbor". How right she was, and what a lesson she taught me indirectly without even knowing she taught it to me.
When I usually check out "my neighbor" I realize that yes they have just as many problems, and many times they are 10 times worst. I do not know if it is because we are so INTO ourselves that we can not usually see how self absorbed and petty we are when it comes to little things concerning us, or is it really the end of the world?
I have learned that it is never the end of the world..whatever goes down will eventually come up and times and life are like a roller coaster, but that is fine. It is all about how you MAN UP while you are on that ride. Will you scream to the top of your lungs with your eyes closed and not look at the threatening heights, the falls, the drops...or will you hold on tight, be a little cautious at times but still pay witness and respect the process.
People are a very important aspect of who we are and how we deal. Many people like to say they don't need nobody. They can do it on their own. Them and that's it. I disagree...Life will be boring, you will miss out on gems and you will not build the most important thing while on earth...meaningful and impactful relationships.
Be Genuine with people and give them your all when you feel that it is right to. We are our best kept secrets, when we work together, encourage and motivate one another. Just pick your company like you would fresh veggies, carefully!
BE A FORCE!
XOXOXOXO
Thursday, May 7, 2009
That time again.... 10 cases in point.....MEMO THIS!
OK...So I was on my positive HIGH message until something "occurred" and now I have to cut people down to their boot straps and bring them back to reality!
WHY IS IT THAT:
1- Folks are so quick to offer up their two cents about a situation when they are IN the same thing and worst. Women do this the most! You can be in one of the most toxic of relationships, don't even know who YOU ARE in the relationship, or outside of the relationship because you never had a chance to get to know YOU, and then go off and tell someone else what they should do with THEIR man! WOW! Stop being an automatic flea! Causing itching and irritation...We need some shampoo for this type of person!
2- Why are you allowing people to walk all over you like you are a freshly cemented pavement. Stop taking care of everybody, and let them take care of themselves! Who said you was the MESSIAH and everything you work hard for has to go in the hands of those around you who are not adding on to who you are AT ALL! Some of these people sit at home all day not doing a thing...watching TV, Eating and being non productive while someone they know is working hard as hell to provide for them and YOU! Add on in some way and stop being a leech!
3- Who are these people walking around FRONTING like they live and are accustomed to a certain lifestyle that they do not have naturally. Their job is to try to appear to be living the life, because they hang around those who are, but they are NOT! Hate to break it to you but people can tell when you are a "straggler", stop being a straggler to people. Work on your own dreams and make it happen for yourself.
4- Women and Men stop dimming down your lights! SHINE SHINE SHINE! I don't care who says you are arrogant, conceited, "think you all that"...newsflash you ARE! If you don't think so who will. Do what you want to do, say what you want to say, move the way it makes you happy ALL THE TIME! If it has consequences then so be it! Deal with those then. Have the conversation. I appreciate my JOSIE for always SHINING and never hiding how she feels! *winks*
5- Stop being a stingy lover! If someone is treating you the way you love and they are always showing you love..why do you hesitate to show it back? Why are you so self conscious about the way you will 'look" towards that person. If you wanna send them flowers, do it! If you wanna explore them in places you never did ..DO it! ( sorry to go there..but its important to be generous and open with the ones you are with)...IF THEY ARE WORTH IT!
6- Remove the Jealousy bug out your system! You just cannot have, be or maintain the same stature as the ones around you...you are not supposed to. Stop hating on things that you have no control over! Just give thanks for what you have, and the rest will fall into place. Work on loving you and what you naturally can do. If your best girl found love and you haven't yet...embrace and be happy for her, don't screw up your face and play distant. If your friend is now friends with someone new and that person makes them happy then embrace that new friendship and that person. More love to go around. If you know someone who is making a big purchase (car, home, boat...etc) be happy! Show them love and really mean it! Why hate inside and wish bad for anyone. Those thoughts end up bouncing back on you anyway..so you do yourself an injustice.
7- Ladies why do you complain when some men are giving you compliments, or making it a public service announcement to everybody when they do. Are you not used to this? Yes we are women that is what happens! We walk down the street and a slew of men will hiss, holla and say whatever they think will get your attention. I will be the first to say YES IT GETS ANNOYING! BUT.....never do I get upset, act like a bitch or just complain about it. Stop complaining about things that are not problems and be happy somebody still "checking" for you. Believe it or not, there are some women in the world who men NEVER look at. They are invisible! So stop it!
8- Stop sleeping with sooo many damn men! LADIES! WHY do you do it? It is not even necessary! If a man is really feeling you he will wait for you. If he really is interested in you nothing will keep him away from you. If you think you allowing him to swim in your waters will keep him interested and in tune with you, then you are wrong. You need to be able to bring something to the table other than just sex. Can you stimulate his thoughts, can you make him feel good emotionally, can you make him feel respected and appreciated. Can you introduce him to new things as he should for you. Can you have a conversation! (so many people cant -- )
9- If I see one more guy with his pants on his thighs I am going to scream! Why do we think this is cute I have no idea! Why do girls even speak to guys with their pants on their thighs..I have no idea! You look ridiculous! This tight jean look is screaming to be OVER!..as my boy said the other day " How do you put your i pod, wallet, phone and lip balm in there making it look even worst". Spread the word that this is the most HIDEOUS look, and let us start that rumor in Harlem.
10- Don't lie to your friends! Be honest always with them! No matter what. Many say that "I am not saying this because it is none of my business and I don't want that person to blame me" but then when you think about it...we forget that if it was us we would want the same treatment. Treat others as you would want to be treated. If you live by this and follow this, life would be easy! I do it everyday and I have no complaints. Some people say "Dee, you can be too harsh and abrasive", I say " this is me! take it or leave it."
Love you all....Have a great weekend! Live and Enjoy the moment!!!
XOXOXOXOXO
WHY IS IT THAT:
1- Folks are so quick to offer up their two cents about a situation when they are IN the same thing and worst. Women do this the most! You can be in one of the most toxic of relationships, don't even know who YOU ARE in the relationship, or outside of the relationship because you never had a chance to get to know YOU, and then go off and tell someone else what they should do with THEIR man! WOW! Stop being an automatic flea! Causing itching and irritation...We need some shampoo for this type of person!
2- Why are you allowing people to walk all over you like you are a freshly cemented pavement. Stop taking care of everybody, and let them take care of themselves! Who said you was the MESSIAH and everything you work hard for has to go in the hands of those around you who are not adding on to who you are AT ALL! Some of these people sit at home all day not doing a thing...watching TV, Eating and being non productive while someone they know is working hard as hell to provide for them and YOU! Add on in some way and stop being a leech!
3- Who are these people walking around FRONTING like they live and are accustomed to a certain lifestyle that they do not have naturally. Their job is to try to appear to be living the life, because they hang around those who are, but they are NOT! Hate to break it to you but people can tell when you are a "straggler", stop being a straggler to people. Work on your own dreams and make it happen for yourself.
4- Women and Men stop dimming down your lights! SHINE SHINE SHINE! I don't care who says you are arrogant, conceited, "think you all that"...newsflash you ARE! If you don't think so who will. Do what you want to do, say what you want to say, move the way it makes you happy ALL THE TIME! If it has consequences then so be it! Deal with those then. Have the conversation. I appreciate my JOSIE for always SHINING and never hiding how she feels! *winks*
5- Stop being a stingy lover! If someone is treating you the way you love and they are always showing you love..why do you hesitate to show it back? Why are you so self conscious about the way you will 'look" towards that person. If you wanna send them flowers, do it! If you wanna explore them in places you never did ..DO it! ( sorry to go there..but its important to be generous and open with the ones you are with)...IF THEY ARE WORTH IT!
6- Remove the Jealousy bug out your system! You just cannot have, be or maintain the same stature as the ones around you...you are not supposed to. Stop hating on things that you have no control over! Just give thanks for what you have, and the rest will fall into place. Work on loving you and what you naturally can do. If your best girl found love and you haven't yet...embrace and be happy for her, don't screw up your face and play distant. If your friend is now friends with someone new and that person makes them happy then embrace that new friendship and that person. More love to go around. If you know someone who is making a big purchase (car, home, boat...etc) be happy! Show them love and really mean it! Why hate inside and wish bad for anyone. Those thoughts end up bouncing back on you anyway..so you do yourself an injustice.
7- Ladies why do you complain when some men are giving you compliments, or making it a public service announcement to everybody when they do. Are you not used to this? Yes we are women that is what happens! We walk down the street and a slew of men will hiss, holla and say whatever they think will get your attention. I will be the first to say YES IT GETS ANNOYING! BUT.....never do I get upset, act like a bitch or just complain about it. Stop complaining about things that are not problems and be happy somebody still "checking" for you. Believe it or not, there are some women in the world who men NEVER look at. They are invisible! So stop it!
8- Stop sleeping with sooo many damn men! LADIES! WHY do you do it? It is not even necessary! If a man is really feeling you he will wait for you. If he really is interested in you nothing will keep him away from you. If you think you allowing him to swim in your waters will keep him interested and in tune with you, then you are wrong. You need to be able to bring something to the table other than just sex. Can you stimulate his thoughts, can you make him feel good emotionally, can you make him feel respected and appreciated. Can you introduce him to new things as he should for you. Can you have a conversation! (so many people cant -- )
9- If I see one more guy with his pants on his thighs I am going to scream! Why do we think this is cute I have no idea! Why do girls even speak to guys with their pants on their thighs..I have no idea! You look ridiculous! This tight jean look is screaming to be OVER!..as my boy said the other day " How do you put your i pod, wallet, phone and lip balm in there making it look even worst". Spread the word that this is the most HIDEOUS look, and let us start that rumor in Harlem.
10- Don't lie to your friends! Be honest always with them! No matter what. Many say that "I am not saying this because it is none of my business and I don't want that person to blame me" but then when you think about it...we forget that if it was us we would want the same treatment. Treat others as you would want to be treated. If you live by this and follow this, life would be easy! I do it everyday and I have no complaints. Some people say "Dee, you can be too harsh and abrasive", I say " this is me! take it or leave it."
Love you all....Have a great weekend! Live and Enjoy the moment!!!
XOXOXOXOXO
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Just make me Smile!
You ever received a compliment unexpected in the midst of doing something and it just made your day. It slowed you down and brought you back to the center of what matters in life. You ever been showered with affection and love out of the blue and it just made you feel like you were the most highly favored person on the planet. You ever discovered something really fabulous about someone that you didn't know before and it made you warm all over. You ever witnessed someone receiving the help or aide they so desperately needed and their gratitude is seeping out of their pours.
The smile creeps up from your mind first and then lands on your face, and it feels good!!! It feels good to your muscles, it feels good in your chest and it feels good to anyone around you as well. Smiles are contagious as they should be.
If you want to spend time with me and have me in your life you need to make me smile more than not. I need to feel good about your company and vice versa. This is what many of the young girls today should have as a requirement for some of the young boys who prove to be way more disrespectful and crude than sweet, yet the young girls still embrace some of these young men who are less than interested in putting a smile on their faces.
Can you really blame the young men who act this way or can we swing it back to the girls, and in many cases the women, who allow this type of behavior to be a standard and to happen continuously.
Girls, and women, must look for more when dealing with our opposites/the male species. We must set the tone for the relationships that we will foster with them. If its a friendship, an intimate relationship or a business relationship...Respect should always be the foundation and the thread that holds it together, that alone should bring a smile to your face!!!!
If you frown more than you smile with the ones you love in your life...then start cleaning up that space...and make room for ones that are healthy, enthusiastic and make you happy!
XOXOXO!!!!
Enjoy your days and live out your nights smiling!
The smile creeps up from your mind first and then lands on your face, and it feels good!!! It feels good to your muscles, it feels good in your chest and it feels good to anyone around you as well. Smiles are contagious as they should be.
If you want to spend time with me and have me in your life you need to make me smile more than not. I need to feel good about your company and vice versa. This is what many of the young girls today should have as a requirement for some of the young boys who prove to be way more disrespectful and crude than sweet, yet the young girls still embrace some of these young men who are less than interested in putting a smile on their faces.
Can you really blame the young men who act this way or can we swing it back to the girls, and in many cases the women, who allow this type of behavior to be a standard and to happen continuously.
Girls, and women, must look for more when dealing with our opposites/the male species. We must set the tone for the relationships that we will foster with them. If its a friendship, an intimate relationship or a business relationship...Respect should always be the foundation and the thread that holds it together, that alone should bring a smile to your face!!!!
If you frown more than you smile with the ones you love in your life...then start cleaning up that space...and make room for ones that are healthy, enthusiastic and make you happy!
XOXOXO!!!!
Enjoy your days and live out your nights smiling!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
How do you kiss your future if you're still hugging up on your past in the present!
It is soooo easy to think that something that you once had, may it be a job, a relationship, or a living situation is so much better than what you have at the moment. Have you ever been in a situation that seems to be JUST right, everything fits in its place, but something from the past creeps into your current space and seems to throw EVERYTHING off. That is not by accident. It is supposed to throw it off, because it does not belong!
I know many women and men in relationships who have everything they need right in front of their nose, but they are holding on to some idea and emotion that they shared with someone else from their past and it prevents them from fully living and embracing the possibilities that this new, fresh love has to offer them. They do not even think about the leaps, bounds and heights that a new love, a new career or a new lifestyle can bring to their world if they just let it.
I was watching Sex and the City re-runs last night...(one of my all time favorite pastimes when I have some down time), and I was looking at the episode in which Carrie was just starting to date "Jack Burger", a fellow writer that she recently met. Everything was just PERFECT between them. They both laughed at the same things, he "got her" and she "got him", they could go on and on, about topics for hours, but what was happening was her ex "Mr. Big" was calling her every so often and having conversations with her that you would not usually have with your "friend".
She would entertain it and this would continue to go on until she finally had to say "STOP", I am seeing someone new and we cannot continue to carry on like this if we are "friends".
This happens all to often, all the time in reality. We do not fully close chapters and shut the door on experiences that left us vulnerable, unhappy and wanting more out of what it had to offer, yet we will allow those experiences with those people to gain re-entry into our lives, even when we have something FABULOUS already. Is this just the natural human tendency of greed, or are we saying we just cannot let go of the memories and feelings we once had for people and situations. Are we that mushy?
I don't believe the latter. I know for a fact that it is possible to close a chapter and leave it where...back there..but this takes time and it is a strenuous process. It does not happen easily and it really almost always just clicks with your spirit without you even knowing it one day. Something just moves you to say that "this is over, and I am fully through with that". You can try to force yourself into believing this before the magical click but the truth is YOU will get there when YOU are really and truly ready.
Sometimes...you keep something waiting on a string for you or close by because in your heart you really want to rekindle something with that individual, even through you tell yourself NO...you do. This even proves itself in Sex and the City, when Carrie ends up ultimately with Mr. Big. She let him be a painting on her wall for years, through his marriage, through her finding some pretty incredible men, through his move from NYC, through her engagement to someone else...and Still what was meant to be WAS "Them"!
This is the piece of the pie I think we all forget. When something is destined it is destined. Does not mean the road will be a swift one, and it may be easier for someone else to get where you are going, but if its meant for you to get to that point...you will get there and the person who is SUPPOSED to be there with you when you get there will be there, because the universe will make sure it happens that way. How...I don't know. Life is funny, but there is a master plan.
This is how I have started to live me life. Just having the ultimate faith that whatever the powers that be have in store for me, God will bless me with the wisdom, patience, and understanding to get through, and to do it gracefully. Whoever is supposed to be my sister girl, my companion, my heart strings will be naturally and whatever service I am to do will unfold and touch those around me with a positive effect. This is all that is important, how we help and inspire one another.
We make things sooo complicated in life sometimes when in actuality it is really just easy living that makes it all work.
EASY = doing what you love....it never feels like work, but it has the biggest payoffs!
EASY = embracing your emotions and being real with your feelings, not lying to yourself, but allowing your spirit to let you LOVE who you want to LOVE because you need to NOT because you HAVE to or you are supposed to.
EASY = Living life out loud! Being bold and moving like no one is ever watching! Free to be who you are with no restraints.
EASY = Putting fear in the incinerator and leaving it there! How can you embrace anything if fear walks with you always!
EASY= Smiling, Dancing, Laughing, Talking, Creativity... being HUMAN naturally!
Start living in the moment and taking advantage of all that the PRESENT has to offer! Life will happen!
Love you all!
Have a blessed weekend and LIVE it up!
XOXOXO
I know many women and men in relationships who have everything they need right in front of their nose, but they are holding on to some idea and emotion that they shared with someone else from their past and it prevents them from fully living and embracing the possibilities that this new, fresh love has to offer them. They do not even think about the leaps, bounds and heights that a new love, a new career or a new lifestyle can bring to their world if they just let it.
I was watching Sex and the City re-runs last night...(one of my all time favorite pastimes when I have some down time), and I was looking at the episode in which Carrie was just starting to date "Jack Burger", a fellow writer that she recently met. Everything was just PERFECT between them. They both laughed at the same things, he "got her" and she "got him", they could go on and on, about topics for hours, but what was happening was her ex "Mr. Big" was calling her every so often and having conversations with her that you would not usually have with your "friend".
She would entertain it and this would continue to go on until she finally had to say "STOP", I am seeing someone new and we cannot continue to carry on like this if we are "friends".
This happens all to often, all the time in reality. We do not fully close chapters and shut the door on experiences that left us vulnerable, unhappy and wanting more out of what it had to offer, yet we will allow those experiences with those people to gain re-entry into our lives, even when we have something FABULOUS already. Is this just the natural human tendency of greed, or are we saying we just cannot let go of the memories and feelings we once had for people and situations. Are we that mushy?
I don't believe the latter. I know for a fact that it is possible to close a chapter and leave it where...back there..but this takes time and it is a strenuous process. It does not happen easily and it really almost always just clicks with your spirit without you even knowing it one day. Something just moves you to say that "this is over, and I am fully through with that". You can try to force yourself into believing this before the magical click but the truth is YOU will get there when YOU are really and truly ready.
Sometimes...you keep something waiting on a string for you or close by because in your heart you really want to rekindle something with that individual, even through you tell yourself NO...you do. This even proves itself in Sex and the City, when Carrie ends up ultimately with Mr. Big. She let him be a painting on her wall for years, through his marriage, through her finding some pretty incredible men, through his move from NYC, through her engagement to someone else...and Still what was meant to be WAS "Them"!
This is the piece of the pie I think we all forget. When something is destined it is destined. Does not mean the road will be a swift one, and it may be easier for someone else to get where you are going, but if its meant for you to get to that point...you will get there and the person who is SUPPOSED to be there with you when you get there will be there, because the universe will make sure it happens that way. How...I don't know. Life is funny, but there is a master plan.
This is how I have started to live me life. Just having the ultimate faith that whatever the powers that be have in store for me, God will bless me with the wisdom, patience, and understanding to get through, and to do it gracefully. Whoever is supposed to be my sister girl, my companion, my heart strings will be naturally and whatever service I am to do will unfold and touch those around me with a positive effect. This is all that is important, how we help and inspire one another.
We make things sooo complicated in life sometimes when in actuality it is really just easy living that makes it all work.
EASY = doing what you love....it never feels like work, but it has the biggest payoffs!
EASY = embracing your emotions and being real with your feelings, not lying to yourself, but allowing your spirit to let you LOVE who you want to LOVE because you need to NOT because you HAVE to or you are supposed to.
EASY = Living life out loud! Being bold and moving like no one is ever watching! Free to be who you are with no restraints.
EASY = Putting fear in the incinerator and leaving it there! How can you embrace anything if fear walks with you always!
EASY= Smiling, Dancing, Laughing, Talking, Creativity... being HUMAN naturally!
Start living in the moment and taking advantage of all that the PRESENT has to offer! Life will happen!
Love you all!
Have a blessed weekend and LIVE it up!
XOXOXO
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Easy loving comes a dime a dozen....
Its a sad day when you see a 53 year old woman say "He bought me 2 drinks...What am I supposed to do... not put out"? SMH on this one until I am dizzy. I was watching Oprah last night and a woman of that age actually said that and laughed! I could not believe it.
I mean granted in this day and age..men use bottles and VIP as an extension of there lack of thereof, and some of them can take on this attitude as if you are supposed to supply them with some of the goodies just because he allowed you to drink on his bottle of overpriced liqueur, and you danced with him a couple times in a night. Therefore you should just know what is going down once you leave the party, bar or where ever you may be.
Of course any woman with a high regard for who she is and knows herself, will NOT equate a man catering to her and offering her something as small as a drink the chance to be invited to the goodness and quality that she possess between her legs. BUT, I am well aware that there are some ladies who think this is OK and they are making it harder for those who don't.
You can give some of these women the benefit of the doubt in some cases and say "hey, maybe she really is attracted to the guy and whole heartily wants to take him home and sample what he has to offer", but in this day and age with the all the stuff circulating...Is it even worth that? I have heard too many horror stories about sleeping with someone once and catching a disease EVEN when you think you are being safe wearing a condom.
There are too many types of unsanitary, unhygienic folks running around looking fine as they wanna be. That is the craziest part of it all. The most attractive folks are the ones burning alive! Sad but true. Be careful out here and get to know a person before you offer them a piece of yourself..because in actuality when they lay down with you they WILL walk away with a piece of you.
Another crazy thing I heard on this same show was a girl calling in to say she basically is a christian woman and decided to wait for marriage before having sex but she wants to participate in "heavy petting" and "oral" with the guys she is dating. WHAT?!!! This had me actually laughing out loud! The icing on the cake is she said "I will receive oral not give it". OK...What planet is she living on and what guy is willing to go through this with her over and over again before making a clean exit. FAST! Which will then have her dating more and more men , adding on to her roster and her receiving oral sex, which puts her in the BURNING ALIVE crew I mentioned above, because you are more ample to catch even more diseases through oral.
I am concerned about the logic that some of the ladies have these days. It just isn't smart and it does not make any sense for the long term. Start to wise up and start HOLDING out on your goods! Men WILL wait if they really like you and that's the bottom line. They will be forced to get to know the real you, and they may like who that is before he gets to see your other sides. Sure, he may get some in between his waiting period with you because after all HE IS A MAN...But that has nothing to do with you.
I have heard some of my homies say "She refused to give me some, and even though I can call up 5 chicks right now willing to hit me off, I don't even want nobody else but her"...So if your are a grade A level Dame then he will remain in line and stay focused, and if he stops and ceases all communication then I have to say he was whack anyway.
Easy loving comes a dime a dozen....step your game up and make him remember this ain't easy...because you are worth it!
Happy hunting :).
Have a Happy Tuesday!
XOXOXO
I mean granted in this day and age..men use bottles and VIP as an extension of there lack of thereof, and some of them can take on this attitude as if you are supposed to supply them with some of the goodies just because he allowed you to drink on his bottle of overpriced liqueur, and you danced with him a couple times in a night. Therefore you should just know what is going down once you leave the party, bar or where ever you may be.
Of course any woman with a high regard for who she is and knows herself, will NOT equate a man catering to her and offering her something as small as a drink the chance to be invited to the goodness and quality that she possess between her legs. BUT, I am well aware that there are some ladies who think this is OK and they are making it harder for those who don't.
You can give some of these women the benefit of the doubt in some cases and say "hey, maybe she really is attracted to the guy and whole heartily wants to take him home and sample what he has to offer", but in this day and age with the all the stuff circulating...Is it even worth that? I have heard too many horror stories about sleeping with someone once and catching a disease EVEN when you think you are being safe wearing a condom.
There are too many types of unsanitary, unhygienic folks running around looking fine as they wanna be. That is the craziest part of it all. The most attractive folks are the ones burning alive! Sad but true. Be careful out here and get to know a person before you offer them a piece of yourself..because in actuality when they lay down with you they WILL walk away with a piece of you.
Another crazy thing I heard on this same show was a girl calling in to say she basically is a christian woman and decided to wait for marriage before having sex but she wants to participate in "heavy petting" and "oral" with the guys she is dating. WHAT?!!! This had me actually laughing out loud! The icing on the cake is she said "I will receive oral not give it". OK...What planet is she living on and what guy is willing to go through this with her over and over again before making a clean exit. FAST! Which will then have her dating more and more men , adding on to her roster and her receiving oral sex, which puts her in the BURNING ALIVE crew I mentioned above, because you are more ample to catch even more diseases through oral.
I am concerned about the logic that some of the ladies have these days. It just isn't smart and it does not make any sense for the long term. Start to wise up and start HOLDING out on your goods! Men WILL wait if they really like you and that's the bottom line. They will be forced to get to know the real you, and they may like who that is before he gets to see your other sides. Sure, he may get some in between his waiting period with you because after all HE IS A MAN...But that has nothing to do with you.
I have heard some of my homies say "She refused to give me some, and even though I can call up 5 chicks right now willing to hit me off, I don't even want nobody else but her"...So if your are a grade A level Dame then he will remain in line and stay focused, and if he stops and ceases all communication then I have to say he was whack anyway.
Easy loving comes a dime a dozen....step your game up and make him remember this ain't easy...because you are worth it!
Happy hunting :).
Have a Happy Tuesday!
XOXOXO
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Baltic Avenue my a**!
How long can you stay in the same spot without getting antsy, bored, tired, restless and aggravated? Even when you go to the post office and see a long line you start to suck your teeth and want to about face because you just cannot bare to stand in line and do NOTHING. Well how come when we are standing in the same spot when it comes to relationships, careers and lifestyle are we willing to STAND STILL with ease?
I realize that I have been a victim of this as many of you probably are. I wont go into detail and specify what area I notice this in but it has put me in that state and I am sooo liberated because I am free to stop standing still and waiting. I am setting my standards and requirements for the various positions in my life and if they are not meeting that then they will fall by the waste side.
Anyone who knows me know I am very ambitious, always have a plan and rarely unhappy based on where I am in my life. I recently had to re-assess certain areas that I thought WERE on point, and realize actually they were not at the levels they could be. Have you done this?
Have you thought that the place you are in with something in your life was great, on point, going well, and then you expose yourself to something outside of you and realize that really your stuff is not as great as you thought. Many professionals do this within their careers, even when they are happy to just see "what else is out there, and what else can I get" when they are in dead end jobs. (Take that figuratively if you like :) ).
The point I am making is everything and I mean EVERYTHING in my world has to add up for me right now. From the people who I give my attention to, the food that I eat, the activities that I take part in, the job that I do, the relationships I foster they have to be = to "Broadway on the monopoly board", not Baltic bum a** avenue! ..Thanks Steve Harvey!
I would like to thank the young ladies whom I spoke to last night for their time and energy and Ms. Saulters I appreciate you! :)
We must start upholding our word, commitment, and dedication to the external forces out side of us. When we stick to the plan and go by our standards we realize that our dreams become reality faster than we think! We have to have a map for ourselves for our lives just as we use maps for anything else. That way if we fall off track we can get right back on.
I cannot offer conversation or any type of energy no longer to those who are not about SOMETHING. Can you hold my focus and attention, should it be granted, because you are taking time away from what I am trying to do for me and mines. If we have a conversation can we build on something that is going to take me a step higher, elevate my level of thinking and inspire me to be more than what I am?
And for my ladies..If he checking for you and wants to get to know you better is he coming correct...is he showing you that he will be a good husband ...can you see yourself having kids with this man? Would you introduce him to your family, or you rather hide him because he don't offer much but a fine physical shell.
Everything we do are deposits in the bank of life. Many of us are not reaping any returns because the deposits that are made are so small they don't add up to nothing...Live BIG..Deposit BIG...BE BIG and leave the small fries behind.
There is ALWAYS something better waiting when you think what you have is it. Jump out on a limb and just explore. Your fear of not giving the next opportunity a chance is what keeps you stagnant!
Enjoy your weekends!!!
XOXOXO
I realize that I have been a victim of this as many of you probably are. I wont go into detail and specify what area I notice this in but it has put me in that state and I am sooo liberated because I am free to stop standing still and waiting. I am setting my standards and requirements for the various positions in my life and if they are not meeting that then they will fall by the waste side.
Anyone who knows me know I am very ambitious, always have a plan and rarely unhappy based on where I am in my life. I recently had to re-assess certain areas that I thought WERE on point, and realize actually they were not at the levels they could be. Have you done this?
Have you thought that the place you are in with something in your life was great, on point, going well, and then you expose yourself to something outside of you and realize that really your stuff is not as great as you thought. Many professionals do this within their careers, even when they are happy to just see "what else is out there, and what else can I get" when they are in dead end jobs. (Take that figuratively if you like :) ).
The point I am making is everything and I mean EVERYTHING in my world has to add up for me right now. From the people who I give my attention to, the food that I eat, the activities that I take part in, the job that I do, the relationships I foster they have to be = to "Broadway on the monopoly board", not Baltic bum a** avenue! ..Thanks Steve Harvey!
I would like to thank the young ladies whom I spoke to last night for their time and energy and Ms. Saulters I appreciate you! :)
We must start upholding our word, commitment, and dedication to the external forces out side of us. When we stick to the plan and go by our standards we realize that our dreams become reality faster than we think! We have to have a map for ourselves for our lives just as we use maps for anything else. That way if we fall off track we can get right back on.
I cannot offer conversation or any type of energy no longer to those who are not about SOMETHING. Can you hold my focus and attention, should it be granted, because you are taking time away from what I am trying to do for me and mines. If we have a conversation can we build on something that is going to take me a step higher, elevate my level of thinking and inspire me to be more than what I am?
And for my ladies..If he checking for you and wants to get to know you better is he coming correct...is he showing you that he will be a good husband ...can you see yourself having kids with this man? Would you introduce him to your family, or you rather hide him because he don't offer much but a fine physical shell.
Everything we do are deposits in the bank of life. Many of us are not reaping any returns because the deposits that are made are so small they don't add up to nothing...Live BIG..Deposit BIG...BE BIG and leave the small fries behind.
There is ALWAYS something better waiting when you think what you have is it. Jump out on a limb and just explore. Your fear of not giving the next opportunity a chance is what keeps you stagnant!
Enjoy your weekends!!!
XOXOXO
Thursday, February 12, 2009
V-DAY SPECIAL! (awwww I just had to)
Can you remember your "first time"? Well I don't think anybody ever forgets! It was either Dreadful or it made you do belly flops in heaven for weeks on end because everything seem so perfect!
In this day and age, the first time can start as early as 10 (SMH) or can be as late as 35! I still have to shake my head to this one because the thought of living on this planet without any sort of LOVING for 35 years makes my head go into a migraine trance. I know someone to this day who is suffering from this. (PRAYERS)
When people first start a "new" relationship, (and this does not mean they are boyfriend/girlfriend) just means they are spending time together, it feels FAB! It's brand new, fresh , and nothing can take them off their HIGH..it is the best feeling in the world.
The feeling you feel is not by accident either, there is actually some sort of chemical that is being released from your brain cells when you are falling in love with someone and many doctors and scientists take this Love thing pretty serious.
Basically they say there are 3 stages of love:
LUST (we all know this tooo well), ATTRACTION (we know him even better) and ATTACHMENT (We wish we never knew this one sometimes I am sure). The crazy thing is each of theses stages releases a chemical and hormones are triggered with it, that makes us get those feelings.
Per researchers at Rutgers University (BIG UPS TO RUTGERS)
Stage 1: LUST
This is the first stage of love and is driven by the sex hormones (Starting off SMH) testosterone and oestrogen – in both men and women.
Stage 2: ATTRACTION
This is the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else. Scientists think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage; adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.
Adrenaline
The initial stages of falling for someone activates your stress response, increasing your blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol. This has the charming effect that when you unexpectedly bump into your new love, you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry.
Dopamine
This chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine! YES! COCAINE! This is why the ladies go crazy! Just as drugs give you that high, if you don't see your love or a man seems to be "dipping out on you" you are ready to kill like pookie from New Jack City to secure your goods!
Serotonin
And finally, serotonin. One of love's most important chemicals that may explain why when you’re falling in love, your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts.
Stage 3: ATTACHEMENT
Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together long enough for them to have and raise children. Scientists think there might be two major hormones involved in this feeling of attachment; oxytocin and vasopressin.
Oxytocin is considered the The cuddle hormone and is released by both men and woman during orgasm.
It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes. ONE MORE TIME!!!!! more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.
This would explain the high divorce rates in AMERICA because woman and men tend to STOP having sex after marriage...(just my thoughts!) Therefore they grow apart and the mistress is born!
Vasopressin
Vasopressin is another important hormone in the long-term commitment stage and is released after sex.
We are balls of energy but we also have a lot of chemical action going on in these bodies of ours! We must tend to them, stay balanced and live a balanced SEXUAL life! When you have or make love...it makes you feel good! I don't know about you , but I can always tell when my girls are getting the goodness because they are glowing, they are happy, they are bouncing in their stride down the block and they are ooozzzingggg FABULOSITY! It is what it is!
You can always tell a bitter cold miserable woman who has not opened up shop since The wonder Years was on Network TV. (I really miss that show - *blank stares*) OK!
So .....In the spirit of V-Day (which I totally think is overrated and corny...but many don't and I thought I would do a blog that would be a reflection of all the love be it, fake or genuine in the air this weekend ---
HAVE FUN, LIVE IT ALLLLL THE WAY UP, and BE SEXY! It actually feels pretty goodddd!!!!! Be SAFE before anything else!
Love you GUYSSSS!!!!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
GET IT! OOOWWWWWW!
In this day and age, the first time can start as early as 10 (SMH) or can be as late as 35! I still have to shake my head to this one because the thought of living on this planet without any sort of LOVING for 35 years makes my head go into a migraine trance. I know someone to this day who is suffering from this. (PRAYERS)
When people first start a "new" relationship, (and this does not mean they are boyfriend/girlfriend) just means they are spending time together, it feels FAB! It's brand new, fresh , and nothing can take them off their HIGH..it is the best feeling in the world.
The feeling you feel is not by accident either, there is actually some sort of chemical that is being released from your brain cells when you are falling in love with someone and many doctors and scientists take this Love thing pretty serious.
Basically they say there are 3 stages of love:
LUST (we all know this tooo well), ATTRACTION (we know him even better) and ATTACHMENT (We wish we never knew this one sometimes I am sure). The crazy thing is each of theses stages releases a chemical and hormones are triggered with it, that makes us get those feelings.
Per researchers at Rutgers University (BIG UPS TO RUTGERS)
Stage 1: LUST
This is the first stage of love and is driven by the sex hormones (Starting off SMH) testosterone and oestrogen – in both men and women.
Stage 2: ATTRACTION
This is the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else. Scientists think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage; adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.
Adrenaline
The initial stages of falling for someone activates your stress response, increasing your blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol. This has the charming effect that when you unexpectedly bump into your new love, you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry.
Dopamine
This chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine! YES! COCAINE! This is why the ladies go crazy! Just as drugs give you that high, if you don't see your love or a man seems to be "dipping out on you" you are ready to kill like pookie from New Jack City to secure your goods!
Serotonin
And finally, serotonin. One of love's most important chemicals that may explain why when you’re falling in love, your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts.
Stage 3: ATTACHEMENT
Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together long enough for them to have and raise children. Scientists think there might be two major hormones involved in this feeling of attachment; oxytocin and vasopressin.
Oxytocin is considered the The cuddle hormone and is released by both men and woman during orgasm.
It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes. ONE MORE TIME!!!!! more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.
This would explain the high divorce rates in AMERICA because woman and men tend to STOP having sex after marriage...(just my thoughts!) Therefore they grow apart and the mistress is born!
Vasopressin
Vasopressin is another important hormone in the long-term commitment stage and is released after sex.
We are balls of energy but we also have a lot of chemical action going on in these bodies of ours! We must tend to them, stay balanced and live a balanced SEXUAL life! When you have or make love...it makes you feel good! I don't know about you , but I can always tell when my girls are getting the goodness because they are glowing, they are happy, they are bouncing in their stride down the block and they are ooozzzingggg FABULOSITY! It is what it is!
You can always tell a bitter cold miserable woman who has not opened up shop since The wonder Years was on Network TV. (I really miss that show - *blank stares*) OK!
So .....In the spirit of V-Day (which I totally think is overrated and corny...but many don't and I thought I would do a blog that would be a reflection of all the love be it, fake or genuine in the air this weekend ---
HAVE FUN, LIVE IT ALLLLL THE WAY UP, and BE SEXY! It actually feels pretty goodddd!!!!! Be SAFE before anything else!
Love you GUYSSSS!!!!!!!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
GET IT! OOOWWWWWW!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
The Trifling Truffle! EVIL B**** are amongst us!
OK...so for my fellas this has been LONG overdue! "Dee why you always coming at us men"? and the most OUTRAGEOUS one "Dee, are you a male brasher"?...like DUH! NO! anybody who knows me KNOWS I praise and LOVE a good man! So ....Today I will focus on the anatomy of the female B***! And yes you read right!
As I watched a movie the other night with someone extremely close to me (I am withholding name for privacy), they went on to tell me about a story that I thought had to be the most trifling tale of 2009 thus far! and it goes a little something like this....
(Names have been changed to protect the innocent...NYC is smaller than you think). TRUE STORY.
Trevor and Omar are cousins. Omar's girl Sheila is BAD! Trevor always admired Sheila but never ever thought of pushing up out of respect. Circa 1995 Omar starts getting more familiar in the rap game, going on tour with big artists, rolling in the entourage's of HUGE names, and forgets about Sheila. Well as life happens, Trevor is there for Sheila while Omar is living the life. Trevor goes to Omar circa 2001 as a man like, " Bro, I love her, I know you and her are done, but out of respect I am thinking about proposing to Sheila". Omar is like "Wow, hey do you. I'm good. Wish you the best".
Life is sweet, Trevor does right by Sheila. Marries her they have 2 kids. Trevor decides to enlist in the army soon after. He cant get a break as a black man, and he goes for it. Of course since this is close to "9-11" they ship him right to Iraq. He writes, she responds..everything appears fine on the surface. He gets news ...He is finally going home...JUST RECENTLY!
So now we are at the present date 2009! He comes home to find out that Sheila not only has been seeing OMAR...she is 5 months PREGNANT by OMAR the other cousin!
NOW! This ish right here makes me wanna HOLLA! Here you are a man's wife, and his children's mother...and you have the nerve while this man is getting grenades thrown at his neck on the daily..risking his life, everyday in a foreign land so he can provide for you who ain't never worked a day in your life...you have the nerve to sleep with his cousin and get pregnant!
This is a typical, regular occurrence within our society...women can be some of the most trifling, conniving, selfish, gold digging, greedy, jealous, SHADY specimens I have ever seen. I have touched on this before with women and women but I will focus on the behavior of the B*** with the opposite sex today.
There are women who do the following, and I know this from experience, and my homeboys experience's. Here are some prime examples:
They date one man JUST to get closer to the next. They befriend the girlfriend of a man THEY want. They flirt with their homegirl's men behind their friends back. They have children by men and tell the men the kid's are hungry and use the money to get a doobie and some acyrlic on their bum nails! They call their baby father in the middle of the night claiming the baby is sick when in actuality when dude gets there she is standing there with a teddy on waiting to be smashed and she knows he just left his current girlfriend at home. They spend hours on the phone with you, gain your trust as a friend and start spreading rumors and lies to everyone and tells your business. They don't get up to go to work, even when they COULD, they rather sleep with Jason, Brock and Maurice to get their bills paid. They think because they ride, slip and slide with another woman's man that he belongs to her and he will leave his wife. They fight with other women in the street over men who aren't there's. They go through their man's phone, email and texts just to be nosy! This is horrible!
I can go on and on! The descriptions above are disgusting and unacceptable on all levels. The women I describe are among all of us, and you might be that woman. Do I care to curb my aggressions if you are ...NO! You must stop being a "Trifling Truffle".
That is the name of the these women. Why? Because most of these women appear to be pretty put together..hott...tempting.. and appealing as truffles are. Truffles are creamy delicate chocolate candies.....and who wouldn't want some of that? But underneath that buttermilk is some of the most deadliest venom of trife you wanna see...and men and women... BEWARE!
Women are very smart too...We know how to get what we want, and in a sly about way. She will ride you ...check your voicemail..after detecting the code and be out there doing EVERYTHING under the sun...and you wont have a clue! She will make you feel like you are her only knight in shining armor and turn around and share her goodness with your boys, because their paper is longer! She will be amongst you and your friends with your girl being there and she will talk nasty about how she can drop it likes its hot so she can secretly make you get excited IN FRONT of your girl. She will wear NOTHING but a bra and panties to the club because she wants someone to take her skank butt home. I could go on for days, and it makes me sad. It really does.
I love my Sisters! I love them so much! I love when women can truly love each other and form a bond and help each other to grow, but a sister like me, I cannot do this with just anybody. I am a woman with class, respect, and honor, and I work hard. YOU HEAR ME! Just as soooo many of us are, we cannot allow this beast into our circles.
We must start identifying the trifling truffle and calling it out and making sure to keep the trifling truffle away! I am not saying save the trifling truffle for she will be the only one to save herself! As the saying goes, "You can't turn a hoe into a housewife"..never have never will. She has to rehabilitate herself, she must see for herself that she can be a TROPHY TRUFFLE!
I am no longer trying to save these bitter specimens. I have befriended some trifling truffles in my day to try to help and encourage them and they always strike! I am done. I will love from a distance and encourage them in ways that won't drain my spirit.
As my friend said to me at the end of the conversation when he told me this unfortunate story he said, "Dee, you look surprised there are evil bitches in the world...you better know"....So I tell you .....BEWARE of the EVILNESS of the TRIFLING TRUFFLE..She is on the prowl looking for her next victim. And she may be wearing GUCCI shoes....lol.
LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABYCAKES..BRIE!!!!
Have a great wekeend!!!! I plan to! BE SAFE!
XOXOXO
As I watched a movie the other night with someone extremely close to me (I am withholding name for privacy), they went on to tell me about a story that I thought had to be the most trifling tale of 2009 thus far! and it goes a little something like this....
(Names have been changed to protect the innocent...NYC is smaller than you think). TRUE STORY.
Trevor and Omar are cousins. Omar's girl Sheila is BAD! Trevor always admired Sheila but never ever thought of pushing up out of respect. Circa 1995 Omar starts getting more familiar in the rap game, going on tour with big artists, rolling in the entourage's of HUGE names, and forgets about Sheila. Well as life happens, Trevor is there for Sheila while Omar is living the life. Trevor goes to Omar circa 2001 as a man like, " Bro, I love her, I know you and her are done, but out of respect I am thinking about proposing to Sheila". Omar is like "Wow, hey do you. I'm good. Wish you the best".
Life is sweet, Trevor does right by Sheila. Marries her they have 2 kids. Trevor decides to enlist in the army soon after. He cant get a break as a black man, and he goes for it. Of course since this is close to "9-11" they ship him right to Iraq. He writes, she responds..everything appears fine on the surface. He gets news ...He is finally going home...JUST RECENTLY!
So now we are at the present date 2009! He comes home to find out that Sheila not only has been seeing OMAR...she is 5 months PREGNANT by OMAR the other cousin!
NOW! This ish right here makes me wanna HOLLA! Here you are a man's wife, and his children's mother...and you have the nerve while this man is getting grenades thrown at his neck on the daily..risking his life, everyday in a foreign land so he can provide for you who ain't never worked a day in your life...you have the nerve to sleep with his cousin and get pregnant!
This is a typical, regular occurrence within our society...women can be some of the most trifling, conniving, selfish, gold digging, greedy, jealous, SHADY specimens I have ever seen. I have touched on this before with women and women but I will focus on the behavior of the B*** with the opposite sex today.
There are women who do the following, and I know this from experience, and my homeboys experience's. Here are some prime examples:
They date one man JUST to get closer to the next. They befriend the girlfriend of a man THEY want. They flirt with their homegirl's men behind their friends back. They have children by men and tell the men the kid's are hungry and use the money to get a doobie and some acyrlic on their bum nails! They call their baby father in the middle of the night claiming the baby is sick when in actuality when dude gets there she is standing there with a teddy on waiting to be smashed and she knows he just left his current girlfriend at home. They spend hours on the phone with you, gain your trust as a friend and start spreading rumors and lies to everyone and tells your business. They don't get up to go to work, even when they COULD, they rather sleep with Jason, Brock and Maurice to get their bills paid. They think because they ride, slip and slide with another woman's man that he belongs to her and he will leave his wife. They fight with other women in the street over men who aren't there's. They go through their man's phone, email and texts just to be nosy! This is horrible!
I can go on and on! The descriptions above are disgusting and unacceptable on all levels. The women I describe are among all of us, and you might be that woman. Do I care to curb my aggressions if you are ...NO! You must stop being a "Trifling Truffle".
That is the name of the these women. Why? Because most of these women appear to be pretty put together..hott...tempting.. and appealing as truffles are. Truffles are creamy delicate chocolate candies.....and who wouldn't want some of that? But underneath that buttermilk is some of the most deadliest venom of trife you wanna see...and men and women... BEWARE!
Women are very smart too...We know how to get what we want, and in a sly about way. She will ride you ...check your voicemail..after detecting the code and be out there doing EVERYTHING under the sun...and you wont have a clue! She will make you feel like you are her only knight in shining armor and turn around and share her goodness with your boys, because their paper is longer! She will be amongst you and your friends with your girl being there and she will talk nasty about how she can drop it likes its hot so she can secretly make you get excited IN FRONT of your girl. She will wear NOTHING but a bra and panties to the club because she wants someone to take her skank butt home. I could go on for days, and it makes me sad. It really does.
I love my Sisters! I love them so much! I love when women can truly love each other and form a bond and help each other to grow, but a sister like me, I cannot do this with just anybody. I am a woman with class, respect, and honor, and I work hard. YOU HEAR ME! Just as soooo many of us are, we cannot allow this beast into our circles.
We must start identifying the trifling truffle and calling it out and making sure to keep the trifling truffle away! I am not saying save the trifling truffle for she will be the only one to save herself! As the saying goes, "You can't turn a hoe into a housewife"..never have never will. She has to rehabilitate herself, she must see for herself that she can be a TROPHY TRUFFLE!
I am no longer trying to save these bitter specimens. I have befriended some trifling truffles in my day to try to help and encourage them and they always strike! I am done. I will love from a distance and encourage them in ways that won't drain my spirit.
As my friend said to me at the end of the conversation when he told me this unfortunate story he said, "Dee, you look surprised there are evil bitches in the world...you better know"....So I tell you .....BEWARE of the EVILNESS of the TRIFLING TRUFFLE..She is on the prowl looking for her next victim. And she may be wearing GUCCI shoes....lol.
LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABYCAKES..BRIE!!!!
Have a great wekeend!!!! I plan to! BE SAFE!
XOXOXO
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
What's the 411?
What is it about Mary J. songs that just always get women through some tough love times! Like I won't front, many of my friends will ride to the deaths defending Mary when she sounds a hot mess and I will be the first to say, "She aight, but she still can't sing"...this becomes an all out war and debate and people looking at me like I am crazy, but what I did not realize is that this woman has carried women through breakup's, through domestic situations, through falling in love and out of love and the message is always constant..."I am gonna be alright, cause I am fly".
One thing about Mary is she can rock a song and sing it from the pit of her soul and meet you at that road where you know she knows what you are feeling. Even if she is a little off key, she brings that wrath. I saw her in concert once, and she damn near brought the stage down (literally) she most definitely can tear up a stage. Energy, excitement and passion, that is the key to performing.
Anyway...Deandra, Why do you bring up Mary? Well I have so many albums in my i-pod..some are on auto pilot, like my soundtracks to my life...my Get hype music..my get it on music..OWWW!, you get the drift..but yesterday on my way home I decided to listen to some albums I have in my i-pod that I never listen to in its entirety, and believe it or not, Mary's last album Growing Pains is one I never dissected and listened to in its entirety.
Of course "Just Fine" ,"Grown Woman" and "Work that out" we have all heard and were bangers, but one song that moved me almost out the train seat yesterday was "Feel like a Woman". I was bugging by myself, had people looking like "What she got in HER ears"? I think MEN should play this song every single day before they leave the house...and before they rest their heads! WOW!
Please listen to this song, All I needed to hear was "If your on your way home, stop and buy me something, Boy, buy me a bag or buy me some shoes, This is a part of me I am trying to get you use to"....WHATTT! Now of course many will say ( and mostly men) "Why he can't just love her, or make a card, get creative with it. Why he gotta buy her something?". Yes he can be creative but why should us ladies take the things we love to receive in our lives out of the equation because you are with a man who does not hold these things valuable! Or a man who is tighter with his wallet then some latex skinny's. NO!
Everyone can jump on the "she a gold digger"..."she don't want me she just want gifts"..and don't mistake me..there ARE women out here to rob you for every penny you have and she still won't be satisfied. But a woman that has been riding and down with you for a long time, and has proven her loyalty and commitment to you DESERVES to be surprised every now and again with some Fabulosity and men are getting off easy when they are ALLOWED to fall short in this department!
I want little surprises all the time! That is who I am! My Mother did it for me growing up so I won't SETTLE for anything less. I was fortunate enough to get surprises every now and then from my man in my time, and it is one of the best feelings a woman can feel, especially when on top of that you are treated like fragile glass, and handled very delicately.....GIRLLLLL stop! lol.
Fellas if you cannot afford GUCCI or the new Christian Louboutin heels, then that is fine. Pick her up her favorite fragrance, a book she might like, hell call fresh direct and put in a major order and have her refrigerator stocked nicely with food and snacks and throw some stuff you like in it so she can cook it! (I am foodie and LOVE this surprise....) But these are hints and ideas to getting that woman to be at your beck and call and doing EVERYTHING you want!
It is not all about the material but the energy and time you take to make her day feel like a little easier.
Read the lyrics then listen to the song if you can! Pure HOTNESS! MARY keep speaking for the ladies and repping...That is why you are the QUEEN! :)
Love you all!!!!
XOXOXOXO
One thing about Mary is she can rock a song and sing it from the pit of her soul and meet you at that road where you know she knows what you are feeling. Even if she is a little off key, she brings that wrath. I saw her in concert once, and she damn near brought the stage down (literally) she most definitely can tear up a stage. Energy, excitement and passion, that is the key to performing.
Anyway...Deandra, Why do you bring up Mary? Well I have so many albums in my i-pod..some are on auto pilot, like my soundtracks to my life...my Get hype music..my get it on music..OWWW!, you get the drift..but yesterday on my way home I decided to listen to some albums I have in my i-pod that I never listen to in its entirety, and believe it or not, Mary's last album Growing Pains is one I never dissected and listened to in its entirety.
Of course "Just Fine" ,"Grown Woman" and "Work that out" we have all heard and were bangers, but one song that moved me almost out the train seat yesterday was "Feel like a Woman". I was bugging by myself, had people looking like "What she got in HER ears"? I think MEN should play this song every single day before they leave the house...and before they rest their heads! WOW!
Please listen to this song, All I needed to hear was "If your on your way home, stop and buy me something, Boy, buy me a bag or buy me some shoes, This is a part of me I am trying to get you use to"....WHATTT! Now of course many will say ( and mostly men) "Why he can't just love her, or make a card, get creative with it. Why he gotta buy her something?". Yes he can be creative but why should us ladies take the things we love to receive in our lives out of the equation because you are with a man who does not hold these things valuable! Or a man who is tighter with his wallet then some latex skinny's. NO!
Everyone can jump on the "she a gold digger"..."she don't want me she just want gifts"..and don't mistake me..there ARE women out here to rob you for every penny you have and she still won't be satisfied. But a woman that has been riding and down with you for a long time, and has proven her loyalty and commitment to you DESERVES to be surprised every now and again with some Fabulosity and men are getting off easy when they are ALLOWED to fall short in this department!
I want little surprises all the time! That is who I am! My Mother did it for me growing up so I won't SETTLE for anything less. I was fortunate enough to get surprises every now and then from my man in my time, and it is one of the best feelings a woman can feel, especially when on top of that you are treated like fragile glass, and handled very delicately.....GIRLLLLL stop! lol.
Fellas if you cannot afford GUCCI or the new Christian Louboutin heels, then that is fine. Pick her up her favorite fragrance, a book she might like, hell call fresh direct and put in a major order and have her refrigerator stocked nicely with food and snacks and throw some stuff you like in it so she can cook it! (I am foodie and LOVE this surprise....) But these are hints and ideas to getting that woman to be at your beck and call and doing EVERYTHING you want!
It is not all about the material but the energy and time you take to make her day feel like a little easier.
Read the lyrics then listen to the song if you can! Pure HOTNESS! MARY keep speaking for the ladies and repping...That is why you are the QUEEN! :)
Love you all!!!!
XOXOXOXO
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