Easy loving comes a dime a dozen....

Its a sad day when you see a 53 year old woman say "He bought me 2 drinks...What am I supposed to do... not put out"? SMH on this one until I am dizzy. I was watching Oprah last night and a woman of that age actually said that and laughed! I could not believe it.

I mean granted in this day and age..men use bottles and VIP as an extension of there lack of thereof, and some of them can take on this attitude as if you are supposed to supply them with some of the goodies just because he allowed you to drink on his bottle of overpriced liqueur, and you danced with him a couple times in a night. Therefore you should just know what is going down once you leave the party, bar or where ever you may be.

Of course any woman with a high regard for who she is and knows herself, will NOT equate a man catering to her and offering her something as small as a drink the chance to be invited to the goodness and quality that she possess between her legs. BUT, I am well aware that there are some ladies who think this is OK and they are making it harder for those who don't.

You can give some of these women the benefit of the doubt in some cases and say "hey, maybe she really is attracted to the guy and whole heartily wants to take him home and sample what he has to offer", but in this day and age with the all the stuff circulating...Is it even worth that? I have heard too many horror stories about sleeping with someone once and catching a disease EVEN when you think you are being safe wearing a condom.

There are too many types of unsanitary, unhygienic folks running around looking fine as they wanna be. That is the craziest part of it all. The most attractive folks are the ones burning alive! Sad but true. Be careful out here and get to know a person before you offer them a piece of yourself..because in actuality when they lay down with you they WILL walk away with a piece of you.

Another crazy thing I heard on this same show was a girl calling in to say she basically is a christian woman and decided to wait for marriage before having sex but she wants to participate in "heavy petting" and "oral" with the guys she is dating. WHAT?!!! This had me actually laughing out loud! The icing on the cake is she said "I will receive oral not give it". OK...What planet is she living on and what guy is willing to go through this with her over and over again before making a clean exit. FAST! Which will then have her dating more and more men , adding on to her roster and her receiving oral sex, which puts her in the BURNING ALIVE crew I mentioned above, because you are more ample to catch even more diseases through oral.

I am concerned about the logic that some of the ladies have these days. It just isn't smart and it does not make any sense for the long term. Start to wise up and start HOLDING out on your goods! Men WILL wait if they really like you and that's the bottom line. They will be forced to get to know the real you, and they may like who that is before he gets to see your other sides. Sure, he may get some in between his waiting period with you because after all HE IS A MAN...But that has nothing to do with you.

I have heard some of my homies say "She refused to give me some, and even though I can call up 5 chicks right now willing to hit me off, I don't even want nobody else but her"...So if your are a grade A level Dame then he will remain in line and stay focused, and if he stops and ceases all communication then I have to say he was whack anyway.

Easy loving comes a dime a dozen....step your game up and make him remember this ain't easy...because you are worth it!

Happy hunting :).

Have a Happy Tuesday!

XOXOXO

Baltic Avenue my a**!

How long can you stay in the same spot without getting antsy, bored, tired, restless and aggravated? Even when you go to the post office and see a long line you start to suck your teeth and want to about face because you just cannot bare to stand in line and do NOTHING. Well how come when we are standing in the same spot when it comes to relationships, careers and lifestyle are we willing to STAND STILL with ease?

I realize that I have been a victim of this as many of you probably are. I wont go into detail and specify what area I notice this in but it has put me in that state and I am sooo liberated because I am free to stop standing still and waiting. I am setting my standards and requirements for the various positions in my life and if they are not meeting that then they will fall by the waste side.

Anyone who knows me know I am very ambitious, always have a plan and rarely unhappy based on where I am in my life. I recently had to re-assess certain areas that I thought WERE on point, and realize actually they were not at the levels they could be. Have you done this?

Have you thought that the place you are in with something in your life was great, on point, going well, and then you expose yourself to something outside of you and realize that really your stuff is not as great as you thought. Many professionals do this within their careers, even when they are happy to just see "what else is out there, and what else can I get" when they are in dead end jobs. (Take that figuratively if you like :) ).

The point I am making is everything and I mean EVERYTHING in my world has to add up for me right now. From the people who I give my attention to, the food that I eat, the activities that I take part in, the job that I do, the relationships I foster they have to be = to "Broadway on the monopoly board", not Baltic bum a** avenue! ..Thanks Steve Harvey!

I would like to thank the young ladies whom I spoke to last night for their time and energy and Ms. Saulters I appreciate you! :)

We must start upholding our word, commitment, and dedication to the external forces out side of us. When we stick to the plan and go by our standards we realize that our dreams become reality faster than we think! We have to have a map for ourselves for our lives just as we use maps for anything else. That way if we fall off track we can get right back on.

I cannot offer conversation or any type of energy no longer to those who are not about SOMETHING. Can you hold my focus and attention, should it be granted, because you are taking time away from what I am trying to do for me and mines. If we have a conversation can we build on something that is going to take me a step higher, elevate my level of thinking and inspire me to be more than what I am?

And for my ladies..If he checking for you and wants to get to know you better is he coming correct...is he showing you that he will be a good husband ...can you see yourself having kids with this man? Would you introduce him to your family, or you rather hide him because he don't offer much but a fine physical shell.

Everything we do are deposits in the bank of life. Many of us are not reaping any returns because the deposits that are made are so small they don't add up to nothing...Live BIG..Deposit BIG...BE BIG and leave the small fries behind.

There is ALWAYS something better waiting when you think what you have is it. Jump out on a limb and just explore. Your fear of not giving the next opportunity a chance is what keeps you stagnant!

Enjoy your weekends!!!

XOXOXO

Take a asprin and call me in the morning.....mmmmm NO!

So since yesterday I have been feeling completely UNDERNEATH the weather. I call myself fighting it and I have been for the most part, but I am just weak! Usually when I get sick I do not take ANYTHING! If I have a cold, I boil garlic, lemon and ginger and drink it RAW. If I have a stomach virus I munch on saltines, eat peanut butter out the jar and sip on hot ginger ale. If I am in some sort of pain from anything (headache, cramps, etc.) I wait it out and rub some tiger balm on it. I am just not one to take over the counter drugs.

I know many people do this and think nothing of it, but, I believe and my gut insists that any drug that you take is just telling whatever you have to "ssshhhh" for a second. Then when it gets tired of being quiet, it starts making noise again and you have to do the process all over again making you DEPENDENT on the drug. Anything that suppresses a process in your body that happens naturally I feel is just suspect.

I remember growing up and my Nana would drink a packet of BC every single day. I used to look at this blue and white small package with white powder inside and say "What in the world is Nana doing"? Then she would say "oh my legs...I smell the rain...my legs are going to be hurting..let me take some BC". Anyone can see that she was so used to taking this drug that she now had a habit, but this happens with people with Advil, aspirin, and cough syrup, amongst other harder drugs. Thankfully, she stopped taking BC before I got to High School, or maybe they stopped making it..lol. I never see it anymore.

I thought about this today, because as I am home sick, watching the news, they are actually advising people to start taking one aspirin a day to prevent a heart attack. Now I have heard this before, and when I was pregnant I was required to take one a day since it is a "anti platelet", also means "anti-clotting" agent. People who's blood tends to clot easily can take aspirin to remedy this in special cases. BUT.....if you are a normal healthy man or woman and you watch the news and they say take one aspirin a day to prevent a heart attack, never mind the fact you eat healthy, you have relatively no body fat, you don't smoke and rarely drink, and you are maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and you are having a active sex life...why would you do this?

The sad truth is so many people will because they take in what they see off the television and hold it as if it is the word. They don't even take time to see that when taking aspirin in large doses (and if you take it everyday I don't care if it is a small dose, its in your system heavy) you run the risk of gastrointestinal ulcers, stomach bleeding, and tinnitus, which is a reoccurring buzzing, whining or humming sound you can hear in your ears, when there is really nothing buzzing or humming. .

I have always been about natural remedy's and living in a natural state. Our ancestors lived and cured diseases with the BUSH and some herbs, and these herbs are still present today, you just have to know where to go get them. I know first hand that using the right herbs can work magic...literally. Stop being a slave to all these drugs that are toxic for the natural balance of your body.

Ladies I know many of you use Birth Control, for obvious reasons, and I have too, but you really have to give your system and body a break from that as well. It really is detrimental to your reproductive organs after a long EXTENSIVE period of time due to the suppression that it undergoes for so long. I don't care what the doctor says. They will say that because it has not been proven and they have contracts with the manufacturer to keep supplying you...that is how they make their money. Then you wonder why you are gaining weight, because you are not allowing your eggs to fully be released from your body and therefore, what do you expect to happen...you get bloated and gross. Just be responsible in handling your business. Go on them, go off...that is not unreasonable.

Be responsible with your health, and how you maintain it. Eating Chinese food (from the corner) every night, can really mess you up in the long run as well. I am not saying don't eat out...but the way they prepare this Chinese food is just disgusting. They do not care how they handle your food and its filled with sodium.

I am just in a state of encouraging everyone to start being mindful of what they eat, start being active and stop using all these toxic drugs when you really don't have to.

Warm weather is on the come up and who does not want to feel as good as it will look!

Have a great Tuesday!

XOXOXOXO

Love can hurt..but I should NEVER feel it physically!!!!

It was not in my spirit to speak on this whole Chriahanna drama (as everyone has said as a preface before speaking on it) but I do want to address this matter to a certain degree, because SINCE this whole terrible situation has occurred I am starting to hear REVELATIONS from women I know directly and through other people about their own abusive relationships...and it all sort of takes the wind out of me. (no pun intended).

We grow up and we hear a man should NEVER put his hands on you...and yes we agree and we do our head nods..and we say "Love is not supposed to hurt and if a man ever dared tried to touch me I would kill him". I hate to say this but....we have heard this all before and you can NEVER EVER speak on what you will do until you ARE in that position first hand.

Can you actually put yourself in the scenario where you been with a man for over 5 years and he has been the sweetest thing since a pack of M&M's with peanuts( My personal fav) and one night you do something to send him through the roof and he slaps you to the floor. This is all very new, never happened and completely out of NOWHERE....You love this man....he has never done this before...soo....you really gonna pick up and go....REALLY?!

I can only speak for myself when I say... I would be the first one to say "NEVER EVER EVER", but I must be fair with myself that you never know the mind frame a woman OR man (men are getting abused as well these days) are in when their beloved companion strikes them first hand off guard.

I feel incredibly blessed that I have never been a victim of domestic violence at any degree, be it myself, within my family, or even my close friends...but I know it exists and I know that it is NOT easy to just walk away.

I was the first one preaching from the pulpit, that Rhianna provoked Chris Brown when this story first hit the public, mainly because I know for a fact that she is not easy! It has been said within the industry even BEFORE this all got worldwide attention, how she would fight with him, knock him in the head when he was even looking at someone else, and she was extremely jealous. Of course, this is no reason for Chris to have beaten her so badly BUT I know that you can only take but so much of certain behavior before a breaking point occurs.

Factor in they are young and being young and in relationship, when you have no REAL life experience with love and emotions and how to deal with it effectively, can be a huge disadvantage when you are committed to another person. You don't know when to leave a situation at that age because you like the feelings you are getting on a sexual level, the person is probably HOTT and the temptation and lust will always override the emotional dysfunction and unstable state.

Who cares about all that deep stuff at 19 and 21. Lets us not forget to add in the fact that these people live in a bubble because they have a celebrity status that is on a whole other level. All they do is take in each other because they cannot really interact and mess with "regular" folks.

The point I am making is this is REAL LIFE ish, and it happens every single day! Chris Brown and Rihanna are just HUGE public figures which makes this even easier for everyone to pass judgment and say what they may but please believe, there are 15, 16 and 17 year old beating their girlfriends a** everyday! I know for a fact because I knew one of them 2 years ago who had a serious problem beating his girlfriend and I did not get involved because I knew him through someone else and what can I tell his girlfriend....that she would actually listen to.

I have learned that in domestic situations especially...when the abused person is READY to leave..they just will, and you have to just pray that they make it out alive. There is a lesson in their suffering from GOD even in that abuse for them to grasp, and it cannot happen just because WE are saying it to them. All we can do is constantly feed them the positive message of "This is not what you should be in"..but we cannot remove them.

Oprah is doing a special today on Domestic Violence and I hope that it serves to have a very powerful impact on the women in the world watching. Hopefully Rihanna will be watching as well. I also hope she got the message loud and clear from Oprah last week that "Once a man hits you he will hit you again". Of course he will, until HE is ready to get help. How does Oprah know..because she was abused by a man herself when she was first breaking into her celebrity.

I hope that Rihanna and Chris are able to rehabilitate themselves. I am extremely disappointed in Chris actions but I do not hate him, because nothing comes of that nor can be built off of hate! I want him to take responsibility, and rehabilitate and learn from this, as well as truly with sincere regard, want to be a better man because of it.

I hope that Rihanna steps away from him and take a a break. No one (man, woman or child) should have to go through that sort of abuse. She is soooo HOTT!!!!! The last thing she needs to do is sit and get pounded on by someone who is not putting her up on that pedestal and acknowledging her fierceness 24/7!

I am committed to speaking out against domestic violence along with being vocal in my opinions that it is wrong. The message has to be constant and has to come from a place of love to that abused person.

Te amo Familia!!!!!

Have a great weekend!!!!

XOXOXOX

Are you fluent in the universal language?

What is that? Some have their own perspective on what this is...I believe it is LOVE. Music runs a close second in my opinion but LOVE is always a language that we can recognize when it speaks to us loud and clear.

If it is love between you and your man, or woman, you and your home girls or homeboys, you and your children, you and your many things you might possess...you know when you love something and it makes you feel like nothing else in the world.

I was watching this new video by Keri Hilson last night...(whom I am HIGHLY anticipating her album release 3.24.09) not just because my home girl helped work on her project and she is always branding her around anyone she is near, but because the girl is really talented. She can write and she knows how to speak to that place we all love to feel so much, but may not feel it as much as we may like.

Anyway...she has this song called "Make Love". They released a snippet of the video on the internet yesterday and I must say...I loved it! Not just because Kanye was her leading man (I love Kanye) but because the eye that the director had, caught the emotion that the song was trying to convey. The video actually CAPTURED the song and to see that these days is like actually opening the door for a Jehovah Witness on a Saturday morning...it just does not happen anymore.

We live in this world of FAST FAST FAST, everything is done in a snap, videos no longer have story plots, themes, captures emotion...it's just a backdrop and the digital masters make the effects happen. Who wants that?

If I hear my favorite love song, or a song that pulls at my heart strings you best believe I wanna see a fine specimen of a man serenading and capturing the mood that I am in when I listen to the song. I want to see him hold that woman and tell her how much he loves her! I want to see her smile and them swoon over each to the tune that made it all possible. I don't want to see him or her just stand there in front of a damn green backdrop.

So I fell in love all over again when I watched that video last night..I fell in love with ART, MUSIC, TALENT...I felt excited behind the passion, work and creativity that went into the cinematography behind that little snippet. I can tell that all the participants worked hard at making it possible and that includes Keri herself who had to be very intimate and physical with Mr. West...That is no easy feat. lol.

Anyway...I recommend that you demand LOVE from everyone, everything and make it a staple in your life. Look for the love in it all, and give the love back. It feels sooo FLIPPIN good when you can do that and really embrace it.

I love you guys!!!! Lets all speak the same language!

XOXOXO

2009 is giving birth to some serious movers and shakers...watch!

"You can't soar with eagles if you walk with Chickens"

This is a old saying that I know my people down south love to preach about. The ironic and funny thing is ...90% of the people who will re-quote this saying...are walking with a slew of chickens and even worst some of them ARE the chickens.

You ever seen people talk and preach some deep wisdom and then you see them not doing nothing significant with their own life. It is so easy to judge and write them off but we are all human, and a work in progress, but it does make you say "hmmmm".

It reminds me recently when I said something and this guy I know says " You don't have to tell me you preaching to the choir"? What the hell does that mean when people say that? Even at church the choir is sitting BEHIND the preacher receiving the same message as you. Once you believe you are above receiving the message, no matter IF you know it or not, you have already shot yourself in the foot and done a disservice to the person speaking. We have to encourage one another in spite of us being "know it all's".

It is sooo easy to complain and to rant and go on about the negative aspects that affect us everyday, may it be people, obstacles, situations...but this never helped or added on to nothing but the spread of more negativity. I have been practicing putting Good Energy out to everyone who comes near me for the past couple of weeks, and what I find out is "Good Energy Bring Good Energy" (Thank you Kanye).

I think many would argue that this sounds easier than actually doing it, but try it. I mean really put your effort and be conscious to just being happy and being upbeat and having good energy in spite of running low on cash, not liking what you put on today, having to meet up with someone you rather see every 3 months, having to watch somebody's kids, running late for something, someone running late to you, someone owing you money, waiting for someone to call who clearly is not thinking about you, and the list can go on...but do you let that consume your entire being and existence and block you from receiving the numerous blessings that are lined up for you?

I believe in "What is will be". I also believe we play a huge role in achieving what is to be by what we put forth and how hard we work at it. A a wise man once said "The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary".

Yes you will see many one hit wonders and people who seem to make it with minimal work, but their lasting affect and the quality of what they are made of will diminish. You want to have a lasting affect, be respected and make sure the place at the top was custom made just for you and you can only achieve that by working your tail off to ensure it.

2009 we cannot waste time! We must create the lives WE want NOW!

Have a fab weekend and enjoy this beautiful weather...


XOXOXOXO!

P.S. I just want to say to all who read this and I do not fwd to you but you can find something in it for you...I appreciate you taking time to read it and for all the kind words that you have sent me. Thank you. I do it to contribute to my community of folks so we all IT BIG when it is all said and done.

"Knowledge is the new currency..." - Les Brown

So I had a pretty cool weekend this past weekend. It had its ups and downs but for the most part it was very eventful. Out of all the places and activities I took part in this weekend before the BLIZZARD the one thing that sticks out for me the most is watching the "State of the Black Union" on C-span on Saturday afternoon. This convention was presented by Tavis Smiley and took place in Los Angles, it happens every year.

Let me tell you, if you missed this very purposeful stimulating conversation amongst some of the most intellectual, motivational, and wisdom drenched panel then you have committed a disservice to yourself. It was absolutely magnificent. Some of my favorites that stuck out for me on the panel was Iyanla Vanzant (love her), Les Brown, Jesse Jackson and the great Michael Eric Dyson. I just loved the message that each one of these talented beautiful individuals had to offer the world on that day.

The main message that I received and touched me the most came from Iyanla, and that is that today, Now, is the time for us to start holding ourselves ACCOUNTABLE. Really sticking it to ourselves. Our dreams, making sure we chase them like tomorrow is not coming. Living with a real reason and not just because we wake up.

I also loved when Les Brown spoke about knowledge being the new currency. He said that yes it was no doubt that President Obama was a better candidate, orator, extremely charismatic and had an overall better campaign but this man was PREPARED. He was prepared because he went and educated himself with the knowledge that could carry him as far as he came, and he was successful at it.

We have all heard the saying "Success is where Preparation and opportunity meet". Many times we just want the victory without really preparing ourselves thoroughly, but then how will you know your next step if you did not plan for it at all. Create a vision around what it is you want to do and JUST DO IT!

I believe the key is to learn as much as you can. Read! You don't have to be in school to educate your self. Abraham Lincoln was a self taught lawyer, and went on to become the 16th president of the United States. Times have changed and standards have been raised, but it still is in your power to pick up a book and learn something new.

As adults some become so lazy and disinterested in learning after they have graduated from school, but guess what "if you are the smartest person in your crew, then it is time to get a new crew"...This may hit home for many of you. You have to continue to surround yourself around people who can teach you something...anything. Build you up and elevate you to keep reaching. Always remember as long as you have life, you have more to do. It does not end ...you seeking to be better, to learn more and to add on to the greater picture restarts everyday!

Step it all the way up! Set your standards high, and fly!

I love you fam!

Have a great day!

XOXOXO - Sky is really the limit!


A few shout outs to people I know living their dreams out loud:

- Divine Bradley...my rock, he is in the world on a tour spreading the message of being who you want to be! Being a force in this planet and stepping up and taking responsibility for each one teaching one. Collective work within your community, and the world. God is shining through you, and you are lifting people up in a big way! Keep rocking! Live Wire who is also on this tour...sacrificing a lot to be in the spirit of goodness and share his talent with the world.

- Janine Morris. Met her years back at Kiss Fm and Hot 97 when I was working in Radio. She has went on to write 3 books and is getting her law degree this MAY 2009, to go on and start her own practice! Huge Kudos to her! She is young too!

- Shout out to my good friend "Jason" who show premiered last night on BET...Harlem Heights. Check it out Mondays BET 10pm.

- and Lastly, my friend DJ Finesse is on his ARAB MONEY tour...where he hit Africa and Dubai really getting that ARAB money for real..living like a prince, all while doing what he loves to do .... DJ!

Make your dreams a reality. It only takes effort, preparation and opportunity, and believe me the opportunity always comes when you prepare yourself for it.