Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The universal language of MJ!

How many people have shared their god given gifts and talents with us so much that they can say, they have contributed and added on to the universal language on the entire planet?

Who can actually say that no matter where they go, on any coast, hemisphere, continent, region, everyone knows their name and everyone knows what they have done?

Who can say no matter what age someone is, they can recite something you said word for word and be excited about it. The answer is...not too many. The truth is...only ONE in my lifetime has done this...and now he has passed on to share his greatness amongst another plane....King of Music...Michael Jackson!

When thriller came out I was 4 years old. I remember seeing the music video and being scared out of my mind. I remember feeling a way about it emotionally more than anything. Why was he so sweet to his lady in the beginning of the video, making her smile, protecting her from the other zombies that seem to be trying to attack them as they strolled on their date, only for him to turn around and he be one of the zombies himself. That made me upset for the girl, and I just could not understand that, not to mention that I thought he REALLY was a zombie and was scared out of my mind.

From then on...I fell in love with MJ, like we all did. I had all the posters of him in my room, the dolls, I wore the penny loafers, I came home from school and spoke to the poster over my bed that was of MJ and his brothers, telling them about my day, and how that girl in my class just gets on my nerves! Yes...In my mind MJ was my dearest friend.

I don't think it was anybody who didn't yearn to wear the red leather jacket he looked soooo hott in, in the Beat it video. We all wanted to wear all black leather after seeing BAD and have a couple of our baby hairs slicked down to look as fly as Michael did. Not to mention when he rocked that silver glove...we wanted it too. We all wanted a piece of something that he had, because we watched him make the world LOOSE THEIR MINDS literally.

I watched Asian, Caucasians, Russians, Indians, Blacks, and a variety of other ethnicity's cry and shake and scream as this man would simply walk on a stage. I had never seen attention being commanded like this in my life. It was that sort of power and admiration that made us all respect and pay attention to the artistry that would capture our hearts and make us put him on the throne where he belonged.

Even though, there have been tons of controversies and stories linked to Michael Jackson that tried to be his demise, none of them can ever take away the tremendous talent and creative brilliance that accompanied his craft and his gift. I am blessed beyond words to have been able to live in this lifetime and watch this man transcend music to depths that are unseen. It has been unheard of, even to this day for an album to have sold 26 million copies in the U.S. with a total of 51 million copies worldwide their first album. This man did it.

I believe that it is music, that speaks to our souls while we are here on earth. It is good music that can lift us up when our spirits are beneath the ground. It is music that makes us get up and dance without giving it a second thought. Once that beat and rhythm grabs you...there is no turning back. What you gonna do about it. Michael knew this, and he proved it every time he shared some of his soul with us.

As Michael said in his song Living off the Wall (one of my FAVS), tonight.....

"gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf
And just enjoy yourself
Groove, let the madness in the music get to you
Life aint so bad at all
If you live it off the wall
Life aint so bad at all (live life off the wall)
Live your life off the wall (live it off the wall)"


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Art=Creativity=Inspiration=LOVE.. & LOVE... = will you ever know?

Why do we love?

Why do we yearn for it?

It holds us captive to a world that is never seen, never realized, never fully able to reach its potential..OR DOES IT?

How could you love someone sooo much for them not to reciprocate it in the way you gave it to them? How could you sacrifice so much of your life and time to one person for them to walk all over your deposit to their soul?

Then...what happens to the woman who waits for love...for this...invasion of peace...love disturbs everything..it takes you off your balance...it allows you to be vulnerable..you are a prisoner to it's wave..but you wanna ride it. Why not? You love the feeling, and if you fall off...then...who care's. You will cross that bridge when it comes...Yes. You are living irresponsibly to a degree...you are riding in a Ferrari at 120 miles per hour with no seat belt..that is the feeling.

TRUST...That is what keeps you sitting down. Holding on. FAITH...that is what comforts your worries and reassures your heart that maybe this time...it wont BREAK. It wont crumble into a million small pieces and you feel it in the pit of your stomach each day.

Love is too complicated Avril once said...What does she know...she was a teenager when she sang that song...yet she was right...Why does it have to be soo complicated.

Why does hate and jealousy run free when LOVE is present?

Why can't we all embrace and encourage LOVE?

We should WANT to see each other happy, finding that special mate to end our sentences, kiss our foreheads, wipes our tears, hold our hands, rub our cheeks, whisper in our ears...

LOVE ...DAMN....

When will we understand your intentions?

I don't think we have reached it yet. The world keeps living and we keep going...and LOVE will always be on a mission to grab us once more...before we turn our backs on it for the last time.

"DON'T HURT ME"! I love you...LOVE!

I was inspired to write this through ART. Through watching someone's story unfold, and watching love never reach its full potential! Such is Life.

Have the courage to LOVE again!

Love Responsibly. She didn't deserve for her love to go in vain.....

Thank you Sydney Pollack! *winks*

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Show me your consistency, and I will tell you what you are worth.

CONSISTENCY! That's the name of the game. I don't care what you relate this to in your life...career,love,spirituality,physical up keep....Being consistent is what will always help you staying ON TOP of your game.

When you think back to school days, the teacher would always say to the students "you are doing half the job by just showing up", the funny thing is, a lot of people would not even come to school everyday ...they could not even remain consistent with coming to school. As we get older and start to hold jobs and careers, some of us don't even remain consistent in getting to work on time, focusing on what we are there to do, and analyzing HOW to get the position or upgrade we want. We lose sight of it all through distractions, (phone, Internet, people, radio etc). Then we start complaining about WHY we have to do this job, and you easily fall into a slump. The part you don't know is that ITS NOTICED by your co-workers and your supervisors when this happens. They can tell when you do not care, and when you are no longer consistent with the reason why you were hired in the first place.

In love and relationships..New Love is always the best feeling in the world. Makes you feel like you are floating on a fluffy cloud every second of your days. You yearn to spend time with that special person, You think of them constantly. Everyday you write love letters in your mind about that special someone, and you send it to their heart and they receive it some way, because you are both sooo connected. Let's say you take it up a notch and marry each other, and after 2 years of bliss, sometimes shorter, you realize, out the blue, the romance stops. The star gazing in each others eyes is non existent. You are looking for escape mechanisms rather than trying to come up with ways to BE around that person. You are no longer consistent in the love that you built, and it now is weakening and you lost a grip on what was the foundation of why you decided to share your life with this person to begin with.

When it comes to our spiritual lives, its easy to get "lazy" and not put all your time and energy into what you committed to do. No matter what your religion is, who you pray to and what you believe in. It is the consistency you have within that relationship with your higher being, that will give you solace and allow you to continue to have a focus and positive energy driving your life. You need to be consistent in your prayers and keeping others in them. Need to be consistent in living right and having thoughts that are aligned with being great. You need to be consistent with the company you keep and making sure it adds on to you in ways that matter for your spirit.

Lastly, our appearance and physical well being is all determined on how consistent we are with the up keep. If you don't eat right, stay active and you treat your physical shell as a non-priority then it will be. This is always the most interesting thing to me with women especially. They complain about how much weight they are gaining, what they need to do. Some will have their plan written down to a tee, with how much calorie in take they need, when they need to go running and to the gym, along with portion control, and then you see this plan in affect for 2 weeks maybe. The next thing you know, you notice their car at the drive-thru, or you see them stretched out on the couch after eating way too late and they are falling asleep.

Then there are the men and women who just don't put any effort into their physical appearance at all anymore because they feel "they good". They let hairs grow in places that they clearly shouldn't (EWWW), they don't wash their hair, they don't shave, they don't "get dressed", they don't care! They are inconsistent with their own physical well being, but remember what we are on the outside is a total reflection on how we feel about ourselves on the inside.

My point is to say...If you have the discipline to remain CONSISTENT in most areas of your life, you would see a change in yourself and your world almost instantly. It works and it is so worth it. Someone special in my life has taught me what it really means to remain consistent ALL THE TIME. He may not know he was teaching me a lesson, but he does every day, I love him for it.

Stay on top of your A game always people. Cross your T's and dot your i's. If you start something ... make sure you finish it. Keep your word and live with integrity.

Make today COUNT!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

When did time become friendly?

Time waits for no one. Time is not on our side. Time is to be used as effectively and efficiently as it should be. None of us have time to waste. It just keeps going and going. Each second turns into a minute that translates into an hour that registers to a day, that adds up to a month that will ultimately end off another year.

What are you doing??? How many years are starting to pass you by?

When next year comes are you going to be a year younger? Are you regressing? Do you possess some special secret that allows you to sit and not fulfill the dreams you have had for yourself? When will you start? Why are you waiting for someone else to HELP YOU. Or maybe, you think that the relationship and connections that you need will just come knocking on your door without you going out and networking and marketing yourself. Maybe you feel that someone is home thinking just about you and that if an opportunity does arise, that person, who could help you get there, will have YOU on their brain without YOU following up with them, nagging them, showing them your hunger...MAYBE.

I know for a fact that time is the most precious thing that we all have. It can belong to us. It can be mastered. It is what we do with it. Do not tell me you have to go to a dead end job every single day because you have to pay bills, OK, go to that job and utilize every ounce of that place to help you get to the next step in your plan. Make a plan. Don't tell me you have to get married now because you are getting older, yet that person is a knockoff of the authentic mate you really want. Get the mate you really want, that makes you FEEL like you are sailing through galaxies blind..CRAZY LOVE. Don't tell me you have a god given talent, (sing, dance, draw, write, act) and you are not USING it! Don't tell me you don't know HOW to use it...just USE IT..ALL THE TIME...and watch the blessings come.

Sit down and map out what it is you want in your life, It is very easy. You know what you want just secure it and get it. It CAN BE DONE! Who told you it could not?

Stop pitying yourself, crying and complaining about what you do not like about the space you are in and just switch it up. It really is that simple. I promise. It can be done in a matter of a thought. Make up your mind to be where you want to be, that is it. Start your journey. I cannot stress how EASY this is.

I did not realize how easy this was until I started practicing it all the time. It is funny. When you decide to do this, you start to worry about what everyone is going to say, how they will react and how it will affect them. When those are the wrong questions to ask yourself. Change those "everyones" to how will "You" feel and the answers come so easily. Then you realize once you make that jump you wanted in your heart, you feel so free! You feel so much more alive and you can appreciate the goodness of what LIFE really is.

I hope for everyone to live their best life and be the person they want to be no matter WHAT that is. We all deserve it. Life comes and goes....every day. Make the best of your time while you still can. Be an example to the young ones around you. Smile and spend time with those who matter. Tell the ones you love..I LOVE YOU. Go out your way to make someones day. It should be your goal to be able to say at any time "There is no place else I rather be, than right in this moment, doing what I am doing now".

Practice makes perfect....He who practices often is always prepared to win. Start NOW

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

We gonna party like it's your birthday....

As many know my birthday was this past Saturday! It was really a good time. Anyone who knows me knows that I think Birthdays are the most special occasions there are. I think they should always be celebrated on some level, and they most definitely should be acknowledged by your close friends and family.

I make it a staple to ALWAYS have something planned for my birthday, even if I have to organize it because I want to show myself how grateful, adored and loved I am by ME if no one else.

This year, since I have some of the most amazing friends, my boy Vic and My girl Brie threw my B-day Party, and I did not have to do anything really. I came up with a list and for the most part, other than a location change, everything went smoothly. Many people came out to support (bearing gifts I might add - always makes me cheese) and we let the "spirits" take over. Yes...many of us were inebriated beyond belief, but we had a great time!

I love the idea of when birthday's come around it is like a universal code to let someone do and say and act in anyway they want because...."it is there day". I was given that privilege this weekend and I LOVED IT! It is like being pregnant for one day. Any women who has experienced pregnancy knows that you pretty much get away with any and everything when you are pregnant.

This blog is just to thank every single one of you who came out and supported me and showed me some love. If I knew you for 15 years or 5 or 5 months...you are so special in my life, and the memories we made that night will last forever.

Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!!

Small Voice..BIG deal....

When it is all said in done, minus material things, minus our careers, minus our positions in the world, minus religion and minus race...we are simply human beings. I think many of us forget this...We are just that FIRST. A form of species. We are a species, an animal. We have the great abilities to create, invent and inspire unlike any other animal on the planet. We really are the only species on this planet that has so much freedom.

I experienced an interesting relationship 3 months ago with an individual that lasted a week...A WHOLE WEEK! It started off mellow and ended harshly. It was funny because our relationship really lasted a week! Why? Because I ended it and I was at peace with my decision. I had enough courage and wisdom to say this is just not going to work out anymore. I do not like the way you have been treating me on a HUMAN level, I do not like the way you speak to me on a HUMAN level, and I do not like the respect, concern and care you show me on a HUMAN level. So this has to be over.

Is it easy to do this? Absolutely not! The same way you can tell when something is just off in your body, or something is not quite right with your food, or you know you don't belong someplace but you stay anyway going against your gut, is the same way you know when a person just will not work and fit into your world. I have been the one who will force this sometimes for the benefits that may come from having someone in my life, but then you realize the detriment it causes in the long run is not worth it.

So what have I learned from that. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS listen to your instinct and the small voice that speaks to you. I am blessed that mine talks so loud and clear that I sometimes have to close my eyes and say OK...you are tooo loud! Then some of us have that tiny voice going off all the time and you have learned to ignore it so well that it sounds like humming and it never works for you.

I believe that the little voice is the tunnel or the channel line between you and GOD, or whatever higher power you believe in. I believe that once you really take a minute and listen to it, you will find that the little voice will never ever steer you wrong and always has your best interest in mind.

We don't take enough time to be still and to listen to the messages that come all throughout the day. It takes discipline and will to really WANT to do this, but once you do it, it is soo worth it.

Be loyal to you, Stay True to you, and keep people, places and things out of YOU that are no good for your advancement in life. All you have is...YOU! When things happen ...you can always look to yourself for why.

PAY ATTENTION while you are still here...it goes by fast.


Happy Tuesday!!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009


You ever have a tough decision to make, or in a certain space in your life and all you can do is hear music in your brain that is a reflection of what you are dealing with. Like seriously, all you hear is a particular song on repeat in your mind. The reason why you hear it is because unconsciously you are relating to those lyrics, without even trying to.

This started happening to me this morning. I am faced with a major decision and all I can do is here Kanye say "Feeling like Katrina with no Fema, Like Martin with no Gina, Like a flight with no Visa, First class with the seat back I still see ya". (Flashing Lights). I don't know why I have always been the stubborn girl who is determined to do what SHE wants regardless of what. Many take this as a slight form of arrogance, some write it off as being "young", and "she will learn". I can't call it, but...I am happy that I have never been one to settle for anything that makes me feel unhappy and alive.

The funny thing is, when we go through these type of times we tend to ask those closest to us for some sort of advice or opinion on what we should do. This is when you will see the essence of who people really are. Some will really listen to you, and help you try to figure out what the problem is and how you can make it work for you, while some will really send you off with a dollar menu remedy because they really don't care. Then you have the one's who think that life is supposed to be this way and just deal with it. "Oh you getting smacked with some lemons, suck them ,eat that"..They don't tell you make lemonade...they say "EAT THE SOUR LEMON..SUCH IS LIFE"....I say...Kick Rocks!

Most would say that the "decision" I am facing is a great one, you should be happy Deandra, Why do you always complain, you are spoiled as it is". Maybe I am. SO WHAT! I don't mind saying that I am a tad bit spoiled, and I have created that spoiled environment for myself because I love me sooo much! I have to have my BEST interest at all times and I won't allow any external forces, irregardless of what, to create the future that I want.

A wise person once said "The Best Way to Predict the Future is to Create it". Therefore, I am in the lab and I am going to create. I commit to flying face first out the window for what I truly want to do and taking no prisoners....Time is Finally come....

Stay tuned....


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Love thy Neighbor

I remember when I used to work at the New York Times, this young lady and I ( who I will refrain from saying her name) would go to lunch and talk every day about everything under the sun. She was sometimes my bright patch in a dull, non interesting day. I think of her because when she and I would get together, and we still sometimes do, no matter what I am feeling, how bad the day was or what I had going on, she can make me smile, and realize "It's not that bad".

Some people have the adverse affects on you unfortunately. If you are down and out they can make you actually feel worst if that is possible. How they do this is mainly based on the fact that they are miserable themselves, but if you know that in advance then you are able to stay clear.

Anyway...If I were to complain about something or wish something did not happen the way it did, she would say to me "Oh Dee, Stop Crying". I used to get a little bothered like "I am not crying, but don't I have the right to be annoyed"? "No you don't, you think you have problems check out your neighbor". How right she was, and what a lesson she taught me indirectly without even knowing she taught it to me.

When I usually check out "my neighbor" I realize that yes they have just as many problems, and many times they are 10 times worst. I do not know if it is because we are so INTO ourselves that we can not usually see how self absorbed and petty we are when it comes to little things concerning us, or is it really the end of the world?

I have learned that it is never the end of the world..whatever goes down will eventually come up and times and life are like a roller coaster, but that is fine. It is all about how you MAN UP while you are on that ride. Will you scream to the top of your lungs with your eyes closed and not look at the threatening heights, the falls, the drops...or will you hold on tight, be a little cautious at times but still pay witness and respect the process.

People are a very important aspect of who we are and how we deal. Many people like to say they don't need nobody. They can do it on their own. Them and that's it. I disagree...Life will be boring, you will miss out on gems and you will not build the most important thing while on earth...meaningful and impactful relationships.

Be Genuine with people and give them your all when you feel that it is right to. We are our best kept secrets, when we work together, encourage and motivate one another. Just pick your company like you would fresh veggies, carefully!



Thursday, June 4, 2009

"She keeps on passsing mmeee byyyyy"

SO....I live in this apartment building in Brooklyn. (No its not Projects, for all my BK HATERS). When I first moved in, and I have spoken about this before, I rarely spoke to any of my neighbors because I felt like I was being "watched" all the time anyway. I am the most friendliest, conversationalist you wanna meet, but when it comes to where I rest my head...I try to stay a little ambiguous.

So that sort of changes once you see the same people for 5 years...I see their children growing...getting big, I see some of them have Cancer, age, I see divorces and then they see my baby growing..and you realize...Damn, you wanna speak. You wanna say "WOW, look at how big he is"..."How are you?" "I haven't seen you in awhile" "Are you OK, I heard the commotion last night *side eye*" ANYWAY...

Within the past 2 years a lot of new folks have moved in and moved out. There was this one girl, who I will call "Miss Thang" who was very cute who moved in up the hall with her BFF last summer. She was one of those girls that would turn any man's head, nice body, nice face, long hair, you know....and she would see me and look at me and keep it moving...even though we were really neighbors on the same floor.

Of course this did not shock me because I am so used to women being "socially stank" with other women in their caliber, and usually I would just break through it, but as I said since this was my "living quarters" I let it go.

So...she would give me her blank stares here and there and I would even see her on the train coming home and she could be in the same car as me and we would ride together and she STILL wouldn't crack a smile or anything...so...fast forward...

I am in the elevator one morning and her room mate who looks JUST like Teairra Marie, says "Hi you doing"? I was like "Hey". Then she went on to talk to me about some other random things. I was very confused. Granted me and this girl never been in the elevator together, but being that she was "Miss Thang's" roommate I never expected her to speak since I know for sure that she knows who I am.

Nonetheless, she spoke and from that day on we spoke and we spoke and we spoke. Next thing I know, Miss Thang, is pregnant, and I could not help but say "CONGRATS" to her in the elevator one day. So...to fast forward even further..me and Miss Thang from that day on ended up fostering a pretty cool rapport and I just saw her beautiful baby girl in the hallway right before I wrote this blog.

Her baby is the cutest thing, and she and I spoke for a long time. It just goes to show you that no matter how hard you try sometimes to stay clear of something you have no choice but to be connected to it on some level, if its meant to be that way. You can try your best to avoid a person, or a thing for a long time, but if it is meant to play a part in your world, it will catch you and it just pays to smile anyway throughout the process.


Have a great weekend!


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

"But what I said was....

From the beginning of time people have somehow tangled themselves in the "He said" "She said" TANGO. It started in Kindergarten when the little boy took your blocks and said "Jeremy did it"...You then were madd and sticking your tongue out at Jeremy, and Jeremy hasn't a clue why. It is all part of the game.

This is not so innocent and easy when you are an adult and your ego can sometimes be at the center of your life, and you have the ability to two-piece somebody instantly and drop them where they stand! BUT....It happens everyday.

The worst part of people just running their mouths so much is that they sometimes forget that someones character is at risk, and when you say certain things you just cannot take it back. It is like a 1st degree Burn on your skin. The discoloration will always be visible even after it has healed.

Everyone has an opinion, it is where that opinion was birthed from that can give off the bad vibe. Was it birthed from hate, jealousy, confusion, Deceit, Rage, Concern..etc. We cannot please EVERYONE ALL THE TIME. It is just a false hope and is not realistic on any level.

Someone will ALWAYS have something to say and will always have their outlook on what it is YOU do. I have found that it is the most rewarding when you can find that friend who can tell you to your face no holds barred how they truly feel and how they would like to HELP make it better.

Being Honest, authentic and 100 with people sounds easy, but it isn't. People will ALWAYS take the easy route and run from saying what is really on their mind. Sometimes this is good, because if someone is not close to you or does not play a intricate part in your life, then their honesty might not hold as much weight as someone who does.

I for one, just can always be in a space of gratitude when honesty surrounds me and a person can SAY what they really feel and if they Really said something or felt a way, they can say that too. Since this is how I live.

Live honest! Speak UP! Watch your life truly unfold....embrace it.