So it was recently told to me that I have always come across as TOO INDEPENDENT! Many might say that is a good thing, and I am proud that I have been able to basically take care of myself since I have been an adult (21+), I have had the support of a man throughout but I have always went out and done whatever it is I need to get done for me...ALONE and BY MYSELF.
I ask myself where do I get it from and why is it so innate for me to do this when other women sometimes look forward to depending on someone outside of themselves to do for them. Are we all just born differently regardless of the way we grew up? My mom worked ever since she was 21 to support our family, but my dad was there and he was the provider. My mom was fortunate enough to work and spend her money as she liked while my dad paid for everything, and took us out every so often. I grew up watching this, and it still never became a staple for me to NOT do for myself and be able to provide for me and mine.
What I did not realize in all the midst of this liberating, independent woman saga is that men feel a tad bit threatened by this LITERALLY! I know you have heard this before in some capacity that if a woman makes more than her man he may feel inadequate, or may feel like "What can I really do for her"?, but this does not just apply to the financial aspects of life. Actually, when the person told me I am too "Independent" they were actually speaking about the emotional and vulnerable side of me. They said I always take on this "I can handle it - thanks for your help but no thanks". I thought about it and it got me to thinking...this is so true within so many relationships.
I know women who have it all together! I mean making close to six figures and they are not even 30. They look amazing all the time with their new season GUCCI and their luxury lifestyles to match, but 9 times out of 10 they are not in relationships. What they have is "JUMPOFFS" or "BOO'S". This means that they have a man or male FRIEND who they can call up if they want to be given that special attention to in more ways than one. They have their fun and its done, until the next time. There is no emotional attachment, no I love yous, no Lets go meet my parents. Easy and to the point services.
This works for many and I think it has it's place in today's world, but at some point when will the independent women allow someone outside of herself to let her feel like a plush sofa. Soft, cuddly, warm, open to criticism, to let her guard down and to take in someone else at 100%. When will she let that hard "I got this" exterior come down and just let a man be a man to her? He may not make much, and he may not have everything she is looking for in one person at the moment, but he gives her unconditional love and she knows that when they are together there is no other place he rather be.
It is extremely hard today in this century and time to stay focused on the true essence of what really matters. I say this all the time, we get caught up on what society says should be. A good example of this is Kurt Russel and Goldie Hawn. Here are two actors who have been together since 1983..25 years and marriage has never even been an issue. I have seen various interviews with them and you can tell there is something special there. So of course everyone wonders and wants them to be married but why should they if they are fine the way they are.
We are all spiritual beings first and energy. We tend to forget that sometimes we go through trials and tribulations as karmic debt that we owe from maybe a time or place that we no longer remember but karma is real and it must be paid. That is why I am a firm believer in do unto others as you would want to be be done unto you. Don't be INTENTIONALLY hard and insensitive. It will catch you.
We must appreciate and pay attention to the lessons in every aspect of our lives...EVERY single action and interaction has a lesson to be learned. If you try practicing this everyday you would be surprised at how much you will pick up on.
I say all this to say, my independent women, Praise to you! You are beautiful, you are strong and you have held it down for a long time, but always remember you cannot do it alone, and when love has come within your internal and external space, don't chase it..let it flow and let the love giver do as they may the best they can..without scrutiny, criticism and judgement. Love is the universal language...no matter where you come from or what you have.
Love you all! Happy Holidays!!!
XOXOXOXO
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Women are from earth...Men are another dimension...
So we have all heard the old saying "Men are from Mars,Women are from Venus", and when everyone hears it they will shake their head in agreement just because for some reason its the right thing to do and some would say "socially correct".
When I used to hear this saying I would also agree but really never gave it much thought but TODAY I am convinced that this is the truth so help me!
I am on the train..an old lady gets on the train with a cane...she looked about 78. She stands by the door because she cant walk too far with the train moving and with her cane. Right to her side was a woman sitting down. Then, there was a man sitting across from the old lady and woman sitting down. Do you know the man looks at the woman sitting down next to the old lady standing there and moves his crusty lips to say " Get up for the lady, come on"..WHHHAAAATTTT!
Ok, granted it was seats available on the other side, by why didnt this man THINK to get his disgustiung rass out the seat and walk over to assisst the old woman to sit down in HIS SEAT! No..he tells another woman to get up!? Whaaaaaat ...whaaatttt! That is all I could say.
I don't know why women seem to have more sense when it comes to being RESPONSIBLE, when it comes to knowing that our emotions are tied into every aspect of our lives because we are THOUGHTFUL, when it comes to taking our time to SUPPORT our friends and family. When it comes to SHARING, when it comes to GIVING, SINCERELY, when it comes to loving WHOLEHEARTEDLY.
Men...they just be! Most of them even if they are doing some pretty impressive stuff in their lives, they still don't know how to tap into that emotional, delicate side in which they take time to actually THINK how am I making this person feel? Oh, you are having something special, let me come through and show my face, oh you are not feeling well...let me clean the house and cook dinner, better yet .GET DRESS and I will bring Dinner to you, FIVE star style! *pushing it a bit..but I'm worth it!
I know I am reaching here...but Men are soooo OBLIVIOUS half the time to what we want and need as delicate creatures. A perfect world in the mind of a man would go something like this:
He wakes up at 11 AM. Eats a big breakfast that was cooked just for him, hot off the griddle pan, He goes off to the bathroom and sits on his throne for 30 minutes reading or messing with his blackberry, he then gets in a nice shower that is just the right temperature, he gets his clothes out, plays some "get fresh" music at the highest volume it can go, starts ironing as he dances and looks at himself repeatedly in the mirror, as if the mirror keeps accidentally bumping into him (no!, his vain behind just loves to look at himself), he puts his clothes on, gets his "smell goods" on, throws on the chucks and hits the street.
His day begins, he hustles and bustles, see some old friends, makes some new ones, look at a couple of nice pretty "thangs" walk across the streets of NYC, admiring their apple shaped bottoms and coca-colesque figures, turns his nose up at a few unfortunate looking ladies, gets some gas, gets hungry, makes his way back to the crib...in which there will be more food to please his big oversized appetite, and then come to you for some hugs and kisses and a little bit more.
NOW! LADIES! I know each and every woman can relate to this EVEN IF you have a man in your life who does not fit these characteristics, and traits BUT remember I said in a perfect world for him. This is what they want. They want things simple, accessible, food, drinks and loving. That is it! Of course this is not hard for us to give them and we could supply all of this with our eyes closed because we are so fly...BUT how do we do it when they piss us off so much sometime in the process.
I get madd at my home girl's boyfriends, my brother, my homeboys, my uncles, all the men in my life for the mess they can do! Men in general can really make me wonder what planet do you live on and if you know can you go back there and get a starter manual for living on earth with us, because you are most definitely missing something here.
Now us ladies, this is a prefect day for us: We get up around 9 am...(we don't need to sleep in that late), we may read the paper/mag, we make us some tea and something light, we straighten up just a bit because when we leave the house we want everything in place, we get our clothes out, listen to some "I'm all that and I know it" type music, take a shower, take out our clothes and go in our closet and get that bag and shoes that will make that outfit POP. (this could take an additional 15 minutes) unwrap the doobie, or put on the hair...if you in your sasha fierce space, spray on the "SEXY", make sure everything is turned off, take out the garbage, hit the streets. (HENCE...TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE..TURNING OFF THE LIGHST...RESPONSIBLE STUFF)
Do some grocery shopping, stop at the drug store, ask him if HE needs anything...pick him up some things he might need, or your mom said she needed, stop by see some friends and family, help about 10 people do something (does not matter what) you gave them advice, went with them some place, helped them understand something better, and you were GREAT AT IT! You come home, if you have kid's pick them up, get them situated, start dinner, help them with homework, and look who comes through the door hungry...lol.
The days are a tad bit similar but you can see we will go out of our way and do a little bit more in general outside of OURSELVES. We THINK about the next person and what they may have mentioned they liked. We take others in consideration.
My point...BROTHERS...Start thinking about those around you...slow down and stop moving so fast...you guys move so fast you loose track of the things that are most important including those around you. Be thoughtful, considerate of other people's feelings, and stop abusing women's emotions.
Women don't wanna just sleep with you because you are in the mood. Women are very much tied mentally to the way they will feel intimately...so if I hear another story about a man trying to get some of the goodness and he don't deserve it no more than the cashier at the liquor store....I will scream!
Ladies make these men WORK for it all! They got nerves..but then again they are not from here...so should they get a pass? (lol)
LOVE Ya'll!!!!
XOXOXOXO
When I used to hear this saying I would also agree but really never gave it much thought but TODAY I am convinced that this is the truth so help me!
I am on the train..an old lady gets on the train with a cane...she looked about 78. She stands by the door because she cant walk too far with the train moving and with her cane. Right to her side was a woman sitting down. Then, there was a man sitting across from the old lady and woman sitting down. Do you know the man looks at the woman sitting down next to the old lady standing there and moves his crusty lips to say " Get up for the lady, come on"..WHHHAAAATTTT!
Ok, granted it was seats available on the other side, by why didnt this man THINK to get his disgustiung rass out the seat and walk over to assisst the old woman to sit down in HIS SEAT! No..he tells another woman to get up!? Whaaaaaat ...whaaatttt! That is all I could say.
I don't know why women seem to have more sense when it comes to being RESPONSIBLE, when it comes to knowing that our emotions are tied into every aspect of our lives because we are THOUGHTFUL, when it comes to taking our time to SUPPORT our friends and family. When it comes to SHARING, when it comes to GIVING, SINCERELY, when it comes to loving WHOLEHEARTEDLY.
Men...they just be! Most of them even if they are doing some pretty impressive stuff in their lives, they still don't know how to tap into that emotional, delicate side in which they take time to actually THINK how am I making this person feel? Oh, you are having something special, let me come through and show my face, oh you are not feeling well...let me clean the house and cook dinner, better yet .GET DRESS and I will bring Dinner to you, FIVE star style! *pushing it a bit..but I'm worth it!
I know I am reaching here...but Men are soooo OBLIVIOUS half the time to what we want and need as delicate creatures. A perfect world in the mind of a man would go something like this:
He wakes up at 11 AM. Eats a big breakfast that was cooked just for him, hot off the griddle pan, He goes off to the bathroom and sits on his throne for 30 minutes reading or messing with his blackberry, he then gets in a nice shower that is just the right temperature, he gets his clothes out, plays some "get fresh" music at the highest volume it can go, starts ironing as he dances and looks at himself repeatedly in the mirror, as if the mirror keeps accidentally bumping into him (no!, his vain behind just loves to look at himself), he puts his clothes on, gets his "smell goods" on, throws on the chucks and hits the street.
His day begins, he hustles and bustles, see some old friends, makes some new ones, look at a couple of nice pretty "thangs" walk across the streets of NYC, admiring their apple shaped bottoms and coca-colesque figures, turns his nose up at a few unfortunate looking ladies, gets some gas, gets hungry, makes his way back to the crib...in which there will be more food to please his big oversized appetite, and then come to you for some hugs and kisses and a little bit more.
NOW! LADIES! I know each and every woman can relate to this EVEN IF you have a man in your life who does not fit these characteristics, and traits BUT remember I said in a perfect world for him. This is what they want. They want things simple, accessible, food, drinks and loving. That is it! Of course this is not hard for us to give them and we could supply all of this with our eyes closed because we are so fly...BUT how do we do it when they piss us off so much sometime in the process.
I get madd at my home girl's boyfriends, my brother, my homeboys, my uncles, all the men in my life for the mess they can do! Men in general can really make me wonder what planet do you live on and if you know can you go back there and get a starter manual for living on earth with us, because you are most definitely missing something here.
Now us ladies, this is a prefect day for us: We get up around 9 am...(we don't need to sleep in that late), we may read the paper/mag, we make us some tea and something light, we straighten up just a bit because when we leave the house we want everything in place, we get our clothes out, listen to some "I'm all that and I know it" type music, take a shower, take out our clothes and go in our closet and get that bag and shoes that will make that outfit POP. (this could take an additional 15 minutes) unwrap the doobie, or put on the hair...if you in your sasha fierce space, spray on the "SEXY", make sure everything is turned off, take out the garbage, hit the streets. (HENCE...TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE..TURNING OFF THE LIGHST...RESPONSIBLE STUFF)
Do some grocery shopping, stop at the drug store, ask him if HE needs anything...pick him up some things he might need, or your mom said she needed, stop by see some friends and family, help about 10 people do something (does not matter what) you gave them advice, went with them some place, helped them understand something better, and you were GREAT AT IT! You come home, if you have kid's pick them up, get them situated, start dinner, help them with homework, and look who comes through the door hungry...lol.
The days are a tad bit similar but you can see we will go out of our way and do a little bit more in general outside of OURSELVES. We THINK about the next person and what they may have mentioned they liked. We take others in consideration.
My point...BROTHERS...Start thinking about those around you...slow down and stop moving so fast...you guys move so fast you loose track of the things that are most important including those around you. Be thoughtful, considerate of other people's feelings, and stop abusing women's emotions.
Women don't wanna just sleep with you because you are in the mood. Women are very much tied mentally to the way they will feel intimately...so if I hear another story about a man trying to get some of the goodness and he don't deserve it no more than the cashier at the liquor store....I will scream!
Ladies make these men WORK for it all! They got nerves..but then again they are not from here...so should they get a pass? (lol)
LOVE Ya'll!!!!
XOXOXOXO
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Xmas Manners..GET SOME!
If you must give gifts this year to your family and friends give them items that YOU would wear, rock, or buy. I think it is extremely offensive when you receive a gift from someone that YOU know someone else gave them but they really could do without it, so they re-gift it to you. What makes you think that person will like it?!!! SERIOUSLY
Now there are times when I have received gifts from "elders" in my family and I said "What am I gonna do with a long button down gown that looks like it was made for somebody name Elsie"...so in that case I know for a fact that maybe my grandma or some other person over 65 will really appreciate and enjoy this gift..so I re-gift. BUT!!!! If somebody gives you a cheetah print hat,sweater and scarf set and it looks like it was made for Pookie's (from New Jack City) wifey..then PLEASE DON'T!
When you get a gift that is less than what you can bare to even look at, don't be mean and ungrateful to the gift giver just smile, and take it to the salvation army or give it to a homeless person directly. I mean this may sound harsh but seriously, they will really use that ensemble and put it to good use, but don't you DARE re-gift it to someone thinking they will love it..because they probably won't.
Another thing I find horribly offensive during holiday seasons is when you get gifts from people and you know they had these items in their home for years and they just decided to put it in a gift bag with pretty tissue paper and bows and you can clearly see dust and particles on it. This is not to mention the fact that there is no tag to accompany this item.
I don't think that people should get hung up on price when it comes to gift giving. Yes, you will as a human, and I know, feel a certain way when you hand your home girl some GUCCI slippers and she hands you some Bath & Body lotions BUT it is the thought! You should have made specifications in the beginning on what price you guys were working with.
Me and my 4 girls (Fab 4) always do a gift swap and we set the maximum price not to go over, we then pick names out of a hat and we exchange over dinner or at one of our house's. This year we will be having dinner in Harlem and doing this and there should really be no surprises because we know the allotted amount to spend. If someone does go over the amount..which happens...then it is because they chose to and everyone knows that was there decision.
Another thing..if you frequent a particular hair salon, barber, cleaners, or a neighbor signs for your packages all the time because you just are not home to get them...show them a lil love. It does not have to be much! A little extra tip...maybe $50 in a card goes a long way for a tip for someone who laces your hair ALL THE TIME! Or the Doorman at work or in your building who looks out. Its the little things.
I am just a firm believer in when people really go out there way for you, you show them some love in return...and what better time then around the holidays...Do what you can! It is a recession..so this is already on everyone mind's.
My supervisor is actually cooking bags of cookies for all of us and I am hella excited about it! I love food and she is a pastry chef! Now granted she is spending $300 on all ingriedents BUT its gonna be sooo satisfying! She gets busy with the baking! lol.
If you don't have the extra cash make something from your heart, if its a dish, some jewelry, a poem... SOMETHING..but GIVE and GIVE without looking for a thing in return! Heck, you could watch somebody's kids for them while they go out on the town!
I always give when I truly feel it in my heart to do so. I am not one of those people who just has to buy gifts because its that time of year, or its someone birthday...I do it because I truly want to do it! Even if the person does not do it for me...I just love making people's day and when you take time and put energy and thought into a gift people know it.
Happy gift giving and gift receiving! Do it with style, grace and have some manners!
Love you!
XOXOXO
Now there are times when I have received gifts from "elders" in my family and I said "What am I gonna do with a long button down gown that looks like it was made for somebody name Elsie"...so in that case I know for a fact that maybe my grandma or some other person over 65 will really appreciate and enjoy this gift..so I re-gift. BUT!!!! If somebody gives you a cheetah print hat,sweater and scarf set and it looks like it was made for Pookie's (from New Jack City) wifey..then PLEASE DON'T!
When you get a gift that is less than what you can bare to even look at, don't be mean and ungrateful to the gift giver just smile, and take it to the salvation army or give it to a homeless person directly. I mean this may sound harsh but seriously, they will really use that ensemble and put it to good use, but don't you DARE re-gift it to someone thinking they will love it..because they probably won't.
Another thing I find horribly offensive during holiday seasons is when you get gifts from people and you know they had these items in their home for years and they just decided to put it in a gift bag with pretty tissue paper and bows and you can clearly see dust and particles on it. This is not to mention the fact that there is no tag to accompany this item.
I don't think that people should get hung up on price when it comes to gift giving. Yes, you will as a human, and I know, feel a certain way when you hand your home girl some GUCCI slippers and she hands you some Bath & Body lotions BUT it is the thought! You should have made specifications in the beginning on what price you guys were working with.
Me and my 4 girls (Fab 4) always do a gift swap and we set the maximum price not to go over, we then pick names out of a hat and we exchange over dinner or at one of our house's. This year we will be having dinner in Harlem and doing this and there should really be no surprises because we know the allotted amount to spend. If someone does go over the amount..which happens...then it is because they chose to and everyone knows that was there decision.
Another thing..if you frequent a particular hair salon, barber, cleaners, or a neighbor signs for your packages all the time because you just are not home to get them...show them a lil love. It does not have to be much! A little extra tip...maybe $50 in a card goes a long way for a tip for someone who laces your hair ALL THE TIME! Or the Doorman at work or in your building who looks out. Its the little things.
I am just a firm believer in when people really go out there way for you, you show them some love in return...and what better time then around the holidays...Do what you can! It is a recession..so this is already on everyone mind's.
My supervisor is actually cooking bags of cookies for all of us and I am hella excited about it! I love food and she is a pastry chef! Now granted she is spending $300 on all ingriedents BUT its gonna be sooo satisfying! She gets busy with the baking! lol.
If you don't have the extra cash make something from your heart, if its a dish, some jewelry, a poem... SOMETHING..but GIVE and GIVE without looking for a thing in return! Heck, you could watch somebody's kids for them while they go out on the town!
I always give when I truly feel it in my heart to do so. I am not one of those people who just has to buy gifts because its that time of year, or its someone birthday...I do it because I truly want to do it! Even if the person does not do it for me...I just love making people's day and when you take time and put energy and thought into a gift people know it.
Happy gift giving and gift receiving! Do it with style, grace and have some manners!
Love you!
XOXOXO
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
"Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure."
Women are fickle creatures....I am one...I know. I am blessed to have always had a tight knit of "friends" and I put that in quotes because anytime women call someone a friend it should come wrapped as "Fragile - Handle with care". You think you know some women and you don't know a thing. We are very sly, coy, and just plain genius!
I guess that is why they say men are dogs, because they will leave a trail of their crap behind for you to find while a women is more like a cat, she does her dirt and covers it up so well you won't have a clue.
This has nothing to with relationships with men and women. This is more with Women and Women. As I said I have always known MANY girls, and even though I know them and we are "cool" and I could hang with them on any given Sunday, I might not ROLL with them like that, if you get my drift. I don't know what it is but after awhile you just get sick and tired of being around other women when you are a woman.
I was blessed to see beyond what is presented to me at face value most of the time and I love that I have this intuition, I usually do not go broadcasting it, nor if i pick up something or a vibe will I say it to the individual because at the end of the day, what purpose will that serve but a cat fight. I have known when one of my friends has said something behind my back, felt envious inside about my joy, and even insulted my character when I am not there to defend myself.
So what does this mean? Do I not speak to these women ever again? Do I destroy a relationship that has had such great moments, laughs that were stronger than labor pains that made my days feel worth living, experiences that were soo great should have been filmed by a camera crew because it was worth capturing on tape. I will not do anything, if the person is worth it in my life and I know they genuinely love me...I let it go. It is a battle worth leaving on the ground.
Those ways are just human behavior. I realize some people just cannot avoid but being this way. I think women catch the bad wrap most of the time as "back stabbers" and "Caddy creatures" because we are more likely to tell it like it is while men are more "I don't give a ....".
So funny you will see girls tight as a pair of skinny jeans from H&M and then you see the same two girls a couple years later and she is like " please I don't talk to that heffa no more". Sometimes its a sad situation but most of the time I can find solace in knowing that some women have the strength to just LEAVE a bad relationship be it with another man or a woman.
You know how hard it is for some people to just say they are going to do something and do it, especially in relationships. If you outgrow somebody or their behavior there is nothing wrong with saying so and keeping it tracking! Especially if that person is not being a true friend to you. I have learned to take people in doses because if you take too much of their energy it will become EXTRA STRENGTH and might make you drowsy.
Know your limits with people, know when to shut up and be happy with what you are working with already! You cannot be your neighbor know matter how hard you try, you won't possess her charm, her wit, and her cleverness, but you have your own qualities that you can sharpen to make just as much as statement.
If you choose not to do these things...then maybe the friend train is packed and you have to wait for the next train. You are not ready. BE A FRIEND to yourself FIRST! Then go and seek others, maybe you will learn to treat them as you treat yourself, and I would hope that is the best possible care.
Ethel Barrymore once said "The best time to make friends is before you need them." If this is not the most truth EVER I don't know what is.
LOVE, LIVE, LIFE!
XOXOXOXO
I guess that is why they say men are dogs, because they will leave a trail of their crap behind for you to find while a women is more like a cat, she does her dirt and covers it up so well you won't have a clue.
This has nothing to with relationships with men and women. This is more with Women and Women. As I said I have always known MANY girls, and even though I know them and we are "cool" and I could hang with them on any given Sunday, I might not ROLL with them like that, if you get my drift. I don't know what it is but after awhile you just get sick and tired of being around other women when you are a woman.
I was blessed to see beyond what is presented to me at face value most of the time and I love that I have this intuition, I usually do not go broadcasting it, nor if i pick up something or a vibe will I say it to the individual because at the end of the day, what purpose will that serve but a cat fight. I have known when one of my friends has said something behind my back, felt envious inside about my joy, and even insulted my character when I am not there to defend myself.
So what does this mean? Do I not speak to these women ever again? Do I destroy a relationship that has had such great moments, laughs that were stronger than labor pains that made my days feel worth living, experiences that were soo great should have been filmed by a camera crew because it was worth capturing on tape. I will not do anything, if the person is worth it in my life and I know they genuinely love me...I let it go. It is a battle worth leaving on the ground.
Those ways are just human behavior. I realize some people just cannot avoid but being this way. I think women catch the bad wrap most of the time as "back stabbers" and "Caddy creatures" because we are more likely to tell it like it is while men are more "I don't give a ....".
So funny you will see girls tight as a pair of skinny jeans from H&M and then you see the same two girls a couple years later and she is like " please I don't talk to that heffa no more". Sometimes its a sad situation but most of the time I can find solace in knowing that some women have the strength to just LEAVE a bad relationship be it with another man or a woman.
You know how hard it is for some people to just say they are going to do something and do it, especially in relationships. If you outgrow somebody or their behavior there is nothing wrong with saying so and keeping it tracking! Especially if that person is not being a true friend to you. I have learned to take people in doses because if you take too much of their energy it will become EXTRA STRENGTH and might make you drowsy.
Know your limits with people, know when to shut up and be happy with what you are working with already! You cannot be your neighbor know matter how hard you try, you won't possess her charm, her wit, and her cleverness, but you have your own qualities that you can sharpen to make just as much as statement.
If you choose not to do these things...then maybe the friend train is packed and you have to wait for the next train. You are not ready. BE A FRIEND to yourself FIRST! Then go and seek others, maybe you will learn to treat them as you treat yourself, and I would hope that is the best possible care.
Ethel Barrymore once said "The best time to make friends is before you need them." If this is not the most truth EVER I don't know what is.
LOVE, LIVE, LIFE!
XOXOXOXO
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Clean Nails, White Teeth & Moisturized Elbows!
I grew up with a woman who was one of the cleanest, organized, scheduled woman I think to have walked the earth. Maybe that is why I am soo anal, organized and a neat freak myself. My Nana would wake up at 4:45 am EVERY morning even though she was not going to work to get in the bathroom, put on her clothes and make her bed. I used to always wonder ...WHY?
She did not have a job she was going to because she was a homemaker from the time I was small, nobody was stopping by in the mornings, so there was no real reason for her to get up so early and do all these things as if she was expecting a house full by 8 am. Nor was anyone coming to judge the cleanliness of her house.
As I have gotten older I have learned why she wanted to do these things, and why she did. It had nothing to do with anyone outside of herself. She did it because this is the type of woman she was. She was clean, she was very put together and she wanted that to be in place everyday for HERSELF. She wanted those around her to be that way and she instilled these same traits and expectations in me....now that I fast forward 20 years...I notice so many similarities in myself from her.
I say all this to say...ever since I was small I have always been attracted to people who kept themselves up as well and was CLEAN! This may sound like a standard requirement but you would be surprised how these young girls these days settle for little boys who are looking very DUTTY to say the least. They are ashy, dirt all up under their nails, and have the nerve to have a stench.
My professor was telling us yesterday in class about some of the boys in her 7th grade class. She made a point about how this "jeans all the way to the middle of your thigh" look is sooo played and horrible and not only because it looks bad but because she notices that most of the boys are wearing the same underwear everyday. How does she know? Mainly because the hole is in the same spot it was in 2 days ago and the day before. If he were bathing wouldn't he put on some new boxers?
Granted, I do understand some people are not as fortunate as others and the kid might not have a variety of clothes, but the reality is many of these little boys are non-hygienic including young men(18-23) which leaves these girls open to really nothing to choose from. As I was told as a young girl "pick your men like you pick your fruit", but if all the fruit are rotten....then what?
I used to see one of my neighbors in the hallway with her little crusty boyfriend every day in the lobby last summer. This was a pretty girl, tall and very smart. I would look at her crusty boyfriend with his dingy hoody, non-braided hair all over the place and looking less that impressive, and she was all up in his mix. I wanted to ask her so many times, you are OK with that?! Is it OK that he looks sooo ridiculous and keeps your company when you try so hard and always look cute?
Make a long story short I see her the other day in the elevator and she is with a belly! *SMH* (Shaking My Head). She is only 17. Now do we blame the parents? Do we blame her? Or do we blame anyone? I think it goes back to the standards we have for ourselves. Had she set her standards high then maybe she would not even been talking to this guy to begin with.
That is not to say that if she gave her attention to a guy who every time he saw her he looked great and he put some effort and time into looking and smelling clean and fresh, that she still would not be pregnant, but I think it does say something about the character and the person.
Some may argue that it is shallow to judge how a person is by the way they keep themselves, but I disagree. I have seen and experienced the difference in people who take a little extra time to be a certain way when the world sees them, and it does reflect something inside of them.
I just want my young ladies to at least acknowledge and appreciate a man who cleans his nails, takes care of his mouth and does not run from using a little moisturizer. I think it goes a long way, and it may say a great deal about how much you mean to him.
Ladies it should just go without saying that we are clean, and we are taking care of ourselves and our personal life. Don't give me that I am liberated garbage and you don't care! Believe it or not the way you keep your place, and the external things around you is a huge reflection on the way you are feeling on the inside. If your apartment or house is in disarray most likely you are as well inside on some level, may it be emotional, or spiritual. It sounds crazy but its true.
I say be beautiful for you! Forget what everybody else is thinking and looking for. Do it because you wanna make yourself the best for yourself. You will be surprised what you start to attract in your world. At the end of the day, we ARE who we ATTRACT!
Love you!
XOXOXOXOXO
She did not have a job she was going to because she was a homemaker from the time I was small, nobody was stopping by in the mornings, so there was no real reason for her to get up so early and do all these things as if she was expecting a house full by 8 am. Nor was anyone coming to judge the cleanliness of her house.
As I have gotten older I have learned why she wanted to do these things, and why she did. It had nothing to do with anyone outside of herself. She did it because this is the type of woman she was. She was clean, she was very put together and she wanted that to be in place everyday for HERSELF. She wanted those around her to be that way and she instilled these same traits and expectations in me....now that I fast forward 20 years...I notice so many similarities in myself from her.
I say all this to say...ever since I was small I have always been attracted to people who kept themselves up as well and was CLEAN! This may sound like a standard requirement but you would be surprised how these young girls these days settle for little boys who are looking very DUTTY to say the least. They are ashy, dirt all up under their nails, and have the nerve to have a stench.
My professor was telling us yesterday in class about some of the boys in her 7th grade class. She made a point about how this "jeans all the way to the middle of your thigh" look is sooo played and horrible and not only because it looks bad but because she notices that most of the boys are wearing the same underwear everyday. How does she know? Mainly because the hole is in the same spot it was in 2 days ago and the day before. If he were bathing wouldn't he put on some new boxers?
Granted, I do understand some people are not as fortunate as others and the kid might not have a variety of clothes, but the reality is many of these little boys are non-hygienic including young men(18-23) which leaves these girls open to really nothing to choose from. As I was told as a young girl "pick your men like you pick your fruit", but if all the fruit are rotten....then what?
I used to see one of my neighbors in the hallway with her little crusty boyfriend every day in the lobby last summer. This was a pretty girl, tall and very smart. I would look at her crusty boyfriend with his dingy hoody, non-braided hair all over the place and looking less that impressive, and she was all up in his mix. I wanted to ask her so many times, you are OK with that?! Is it OK that he looks sooo ridiculous and keeps your company when you try so hard and always look cute?
Make a long story short I see her the other day in the elevator and she is with a belly! *SMH* (Shaking My Head). She is only 17. Now do we blame the parents? Do we blame her? Or do we blame anyone? I think it goes back to the standards we have for ourselves. Had she set her standards high then maybe she would not even been talking to this guy to begin with.
That is not to say that if she gave her attention to a guy who every time he saw her he looked great and he put some effort and time into looking and smelling clean and fresh, that she still would not be pregnant, but I think it does say something about the character and the person.
Some may argue that it is shallow to judge how a person is by the way they keep themselves, but I disagree. I have seen and experienced the difference in people who take a little extra time to be a certain way when the world sees them, and it does reflect something inside of them.
I just want my young ladies to at least acknowledge and appreciate a man who cleans his nails, takes care of his mouth and does not run from using a little moisturizer. I think it goes a long way, and it may say a great deal about how much you mean to him.
Ladies it should just go without saying that we are clean, and we are taking care of ourselves and our personal life. Don't give me that I am liberated garbage and you don't care! Believe it or not the way you keep your place, and the external things around you is a huge reflection on the way you are feeling on the inside. If your apartment or house is in disarray most likely you are as well inside on some level, may it be emotional, or spiritual. It sounds crazy but its true.
I say be beautiful for you! Forget what everybody else is thinking and looking for. Do it because you wanna make yourself the best for yourself. You will be surprised what you start to attract in your world. At the end of the day, we ARE who we ATTRACT!
Love you!
XOXOXOXOXO
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
ain't nothing but LOVE...thats what it is....
Why is it that one of the most pleasurable and euphoric feelings we get can cause so much complication and misunderstanding alll the time in our lives. What feeling am I referring to? What highest level of understanding can I be speaking of? LOVE.
Yes LOVE. The word itself to me has become soooo cliche. I had a deep conversation this weekend with my homegirl, and she agrees and I agree DON'T EVEN TELL ME YOU LOVE ME......SHOW ME!
That is the name of the game these days! I remember watching old TV sitcoms or movies and the big thing was when the guy (or in some cases the girl) would look over in the actor's eyes with almost a glare of water in their own gaze and say those three words "I Love you".
Yes the fireworks were going off, the person on the receiving end of the love ode was almost in tears and could not help but reach over and give the biggest kiss and hug that you can imagine. BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Don't get me wrong. I am sucker for a good love story and I am a romantic at heart. I love everything sweet and sincere..but that's just it! These days you are lucky if when someone tells you that they love you they REALLLLY mean it and have an understanding of the fragile state that emotion puts you in.
Yes you can love someone but I think the focus has left of really showing and going over the depth of the mountains to express those feelings. I just laugh when couples say "oh we been married/together twenty something years"...but then when you are around them it feels like you are in a prison and the both of them are plotting the ultimate escape but have not yet contrived the plan.
I mean all the best to those couples who have the commitment and stamina to live with a person for so long, that is not to be overlooked because as we all know living with another person can be a test of sanity. (lol) But why suffer and be unhappy if at the end of the day you feel like you are living an episode of "Married with Children".
I bring this back to my original point. When love is present it never needs to be questioned, it does not have to be said, you feel it in your bones, your heart skips a beat and you can just look in that person's face and feel complete and happy. Its a rarity but it exists.
I have touched on this before but I bring it BACK up because there are just too many instances and people in and around my personal life in which I see people forcing themselves to believe they are in love. Why want and hope for an emotion that is not there or maybe has not ever been there. Are you remaining in a situation for appearances purposes? Are you doing it because you are afraid to be alone? What is it?
Love comes and it comes at the most unexpected times! I have told so many people this. Love also comes from people who you may not initially had any type of interest in and wasn't looking for it from but that person showed and proved it on a level that swept you off your feet.
Love is not just feeling good during a session of intimacy, love is not taking me out every other weekend to dinner and a movie, love is connecting with an individual where not so many others can. Love is laughing at the same things without having to say what you are laughing at. Love is watching the person's movement and feeling a rush of adrenaline. Love is listening, love is nurturing, love is not wanting to be any other place but with that person. Love is wishing you were with them when you are not with them and you just left them!
Love is being ride or die, got your back no matter what. Love is letting you hang with your boys/girls, and not stressing you out about it. Love is free, love just is.
Yes it is different for everyone, but I know what it is not. Love is not possession, love is not abuse, love is not being selfish, love is not jealous, love is not pety and its not EASY to find these days.
I know LOVE. I know him very well. But as Shakespeare said "The course of true love never did run smooth". So expect to feel the euphoria...welcome it in! embrace but know that Love is a pain in the "bockside"...as my Belizian mama would say.
You live, you love and you WILL hurt! But its all worth it. Don't let the pain that comes from one love steer you from embracing the new wave of Love coming your way. Don't force nothing that is not happening naturally. Love ALWAYS HAPPENS NATURALLY! Remember that too. So let love come and go if it must. Let the door of your heart remain open because if you close it...you shut off your soul from flying and spirit from dancing!
When I speak of love I don't just speak of romantic, intimate relationships either! I speak of relationships you have with your girls, your boys and your family. All relationships. I was just telling me homeboy yesterday "I love your girl...don't be jealous".lol. He was like I am! lol. He was kidding, but that's my home girl and I love her and I mean it! I love our friendship and I would not trade it in for nothing.
Love is taking time to spend it with someone else. So what you are tired, so what it's cold, so what you dont have a ride...when you love someones's company you are down to roll with them and be in their present if they need you too, and I am lucky to have that from my homegirl. She is down for me and I am down for her no matter what! She keeps her word and i can appreciate that.
This past weekend I hung out with my homies and we had some of the best fun in a long time, and we were just acting silly and laughing and eating and that's LOVE! Like it is not all about "intimacy"...
I love my cousin who I share some of the funniest stories with on the daily because we are so much alike! She is really my sister! I can talk to her like no one else! She is a walking genius too..she knows everything and she is knowing LOVE these days! *winks*.
I love my aunt who if I ever need to call her to do me favor she will and she has...(I need a recommendation letter like now, she would do and has done it..she knows who she is). I always talk about the love for my parents who instilled the best values and integrity in me. I love my second mom too. I am not married but I have always held my "mother-n-law" in high regard because she has been there for me as if she pushed me out.
I love my girls who I have known for years (we call ourselves the FAB 4) and I can always depend on them to come and support something I am doing no matter what.
I love my O berries...she knows who she is.
I love you all who read my blog and hit me up and tell me how much you enjoyed it and how you needed that. I love you soo much! I am in a space of LOVE...and I am taking it all in. No one can steal my high. I am freee to be and free to love and as a special someone would say "there is nothing you can do about it" -- (Divine quote)
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
XOXOXO!
Yes LOVE. The word itself to me has become soooo cliche. I had a deep conversation this weekend with my homegirl, and she agrees and I agree DON'T EVEN TELL ME YOU LOVE ME......SHOW ME!
That is the name of the game these days! I remember watching old TV sitcoms or movies and the big thing was when the guy (or in some cases the girl) would look over in the actor's eyes with almost a glare of water in their own gaze and say those three words "I Love you".
Yes the fireworks were going off, the person on the receiving end of the love ode was almost in tears and could not help but reach over and give the biggest kiss and hug that you can imagine. BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Don't get me wrong. I am sucker for a good love story and I am a romantic at heart. I love everything sweet and sincere..but that's just it! These days you are lucky if when someone tells you that they love you they REALLLLY mean it and have an understanding of the fragile state that emotion puts you in.
Yes you can love someone but I think the focus has left of really showing and going over the depth of the mountains to express those feelings. I just laugh when couples say "oh we been married/together twenty something years"...but then when you are around them it feels like you are in a prison and the both of them are plotting the ultimate escape but have not yet contrived the plan.
I mean all the best to those couples who have the commitment and stamina to live with a person for so long, that is not to be overlooked because as we all know living with another person can be a test of sanity. (lol) But why suffer and be unhappy if at the end of the day you feel like you are living an episode of "Married with Children".
I bring this back to my original point. When love is present it never needs to be questioned, it does not have to be said, you feel it in your bones, your heart skips a beat and you can just look in that person's face and feel complete and happy. Its a rarity but it exists.
I have touched on this before but I bring it BACK up because there are just too many instances and people in and around my personal life in which I see people forcing themselves to believe they are in love. Why want and hope for an emotion that is not there or maybe has not ever been there. Are you remaining in a situation for appearances purposes? Are you doing it because you are afraid to be alone? What is it?
Love comes and it comes at the most unexpected times! I have told so many people this. Love also comes from people who you may not initially had any type of interest in and wasn't looking for it from but that person showed and proved it on a level that swept you off your feet.
Love is not just feeling good during a session of intimacy, love is not taking me out every other weekend to dinner and a movie, love is connecting with an individual where not so many others can. Love is laughing at the same things without having to say what you are laughing at. Love is watching the person's movement and feeling a rush of adrenaline. Love is listening, love is nurturing, love is not wanting to be any other place but with that person. Love is wishing you were with them when you are not with them and you just left them!
Love is being ride or die, got your back no matter what. Love is letting you hang with your boys/girls, and not stressing you out about it. Love is free, love just is.
Yes it is different for everyone, but I know what it is not. Love is not possession, love is not abuse, love is not being selfish, love is not jealous, love is not pety and its not EASY to find these days.
I know LOVE. I know him very well. But as Shakespeare said "The course of true love never did run smooth". So expect to feel the euphoria...welcome it in! embrace but know that Love is a pain in the "bockside"...as my Belizian mama would say.
You live, you love and you WILL hurt! But its all worth it. Don't let the pain that comes from one love steer you from embracing the new wave of Love coming your way. Don't force nothing that is not happening naturally. Love ALWAYS HAPPENS NATURALLY! Remember that too. So let love come and go if it must. Let the door of your heart remain open because if you close it...you shut off your soul from flying and spirit from dancing!
When I speak of love I don't just speak of romantic, intimate relationships either! I speak of relationships you have with your girls, your boys and your family. All relationships. I was just telling me homeboy yesterday "I love your girl...don't be jealous".lol. He was like I am! lol. He was kidding, but that's my home girl and I love her and I mean it! I love our friendship and I would not trade it in for nothing.
Love is taking time to spend it with someone else. So what you are tired, so what it's cold, so what you dont have a ride...when you love someones's company you are down to roll with them and be in their present if they need you too, and I am lucky to have that from my homegirl. She is down for me and I am down for her no matter what! She keeps her word and i can appreciate that.
This past weekend I hung out with my homies and we had some of the best fun in a long time, and we were just acting silly and laughing and eating and that's LOVE! Like it is not all about "intimacy"...
I love my cousin who I share some of the funniest stories with on the daily because we are so much alike! She is really my sister! I can talk to her like no one else! She is a walking genius too..she knows everything and she is knowing LOVE these days! *winks*.
I love my aunt who if I ever need to call her to do me favor she will and she has...(I need a recommendation letter like now, she would do and has done it..she knows who she is). I always talk about the love for my parents who instilled the best values and integrity in me. I love my second mom too. I am not married but I have always held my "mother-n-law" in high regard because she has been there for me as if she pushed me out.
I love my girls who I have known for years (we call ourselves the FAB 4) and I can always depend on them to come and support something I am doing no matter what.
I love my O berries...she knows who she is.
I love you all who read my blog and hit me up and tell me how much you enjoyed it and how you needed that. I love you soo much! I am in a space of LOVE...and I am taking it all in. No one can steal my high. I am freee to be and free to love and as a special someone would say "there is nothing you can do about it" -- (Divine quote)
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
XOXOXO!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Pay it forward!
So....yesterday was a long day for me to say the least! I had so much to do and I am in the homestretch of this semester at school, which might I add.. one class is just KILLING me ..but I am surviving and will come out victorious. I am 100% sure.
I got home pretty late last night and me and my lil munchkin are towing ourselves around the corner from my place, since every night I find myself parking further and further away from my house. We are supposedly in a recession yet I see more and more people are buying cars and seem to be living pretty darn well in my neck of the woods, which is preventing me from finding a spot EVERY NIGHT and I am parking blocks away form my front door...(Not hating just saying).
As we are taking our looong walk I can't help but start thinking about all the things I will have to do once we get inside and how it is already 10 pm and I have tons of stuff to do! How do I end up wishing for more time every single night?! Why aren't there any calm, "nothing to do" moments happening with me lately?
Then my mind wanders to this little person holding my hand, who is cranky as she can be and in one of her stubborn Scorpion moods (Scorpio's are something...if you didn't know..but that's another blog. I love them to death though).
I start thinking about how once we get inside, it's going to be another mommy challenge to get her ready for bed since its late. She has no real sense of time, and think "oh we are just getting home so I am coloring for an hour, watching a little Cinderella, eat some Teddy grahams and catch up on some Blue's Clues. When "NO"! Its 10:30 pm. Miss DeAsia and time to go to sleep.
So as we are walking to the front of my building I notice there is a cellphone on the ground under a Mercedes that is vibrating. I see it and then I say to myself, caught up in all my thoughts and rambling..."Dang, another phone lost". DeAsia is running way ahead of me now and I am focused on her slowing down so I just keep walking, then it was as if my spirit said "You can't leave that phone there! Someone needs it and its ringing because the owner has probably tried to call a hundred times already hoping someone will pick it up and tell them where it is" .
Decisions, Decisions. Usually I would have picked it up when I first saw it but with all my hustle and bustle and chasing my 4 year old elder. (she is an old lady I swear)...I walked by.
After my debating with my spirit, I went back and picked up the phone, and took it upstairs. I called the number that was last called after looking at the call log..and it was dialed 56 times! (O-D I know).
Her name was Nakyia, she was a nurse, I told her I found her phone on the ground and I have it, and she can come and pick it up as soon as she can. She was soooooo grateful and could not stop saying how much she needed that phone. She lived right around the corner and was at my house within 8 minutes. (I timed her).
When she came she went on and on and made me feel like I was about to receive a lifetime achievement award...it was awkward but I felt good! To be honest the only reason I picked up the phone and returned it was because had it been mine I would want someone to do the same for me. I live my life by that creed, "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you".
Surprisingly after returning the phone and coming back upstairs, everything went smoothly. Miss DeAsia didn't ask for her night time snack, she didn't wanna stay up and watch NOGGIN, she was very cooperative, put on her pajamas and went to bed, with a small request to get the covers off of her because she was HOTT!
I handled my last minute business on the PC and was in bed at a "decent" time.
Life is all what you make it, we get so caught up in our head and rambling about what we have to do next, when if we just live in the moment, and be present to every minute ..life just happens and works itself out, and you may make someones day in the process...as I did for Nakyia.
Enjoy the rest of you week and have a FABULOUS weekend!!!
Love you all!!!
XOXOXO
I got home pretty late last night and me and my lil munchkin are towing ourselves around the corner from my place, since every night I find myself parking further and further away from my house. We are supposedly in a recession yet I see more and more people are buying cars and seem to be living pretty darn well in my neck of the woods, which is preventing me from finding a spot EVERY NIGHT and I am parking blocks away form my front door...(Not hating just saying).
As we are taking our looong walk I can't help but start thinking about all the things I will have to do once we get inside and how it is already 10 pm and I have tons of stuff to do! How do I end up wishing for more time every single night?! Why aren't there any calm, "nothing to do" moments happening with me lately?
Then my mind wanders to this little person holding my hand, who is cranky as she can be and in one of her stubborn Scorpion moods (Scorpio's are something...if you didn't know..but that's another blog. I love them to death though).
I start thinking about how once we get inside, it's going to be another mommy challenge to get her ready for bed since its late. She has no real sense of time, and think "oh we are just getting home so I am coloring for an hour, watching a little Cinderella, eat some Teddy grahams and catch up on some Blue's Clues. When "NO"! Its 10:30 pm. Miss DeAsia and time to go to sleep.
So as we are walking to the front of my building I notice there is a cellphone on the ground under a Mercedes that is vibrating. I see it and then I say to myself, caught up in all my thoughts and rambling..."Dang, another phone lost". DeAsia is running way ahead of me now and I am focused on her slowing down so I just keep walking, then it was as if my spirit said "You can't leave that phone there! Someone needs it and its ringing because the owner has probably tried to call a hundred times already hoping someone will pick it up and tell them where it is" .
Decisions, Decisions. Usually I would have picked it up when I first saw it but with all my hustle and bustle and chasing my 4 year old elder. (she is an old lady I swear)...I walked by.
After my debating with my spirit, I went back and picked up the phone, and took it upstairs. I called the number that was last called after looking at the call log..and it was dialed 56 times! (O-D I know).
Her name was Nakyia, she was a nurse, I told her I found her phone on the ground and I have it, and she can come and pick it up as soon as she can. She was soooooo grateful and could not stop saying how much she needed that phone. She lived right around the corner and was at my house within 8 minutes. (I timed her).
When she came she went on and on and made me feel like I was about to receive a lifetime achievement award...it was awkward but I felt good! To be honest the only reason I picked up the phone and returned it was because had it been mine I would want someone to do the same for me. I live my life by that creed, "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you".
Surprisingly after returning the phone and coming back upstairs, everything went smoothly. Miss DeAsia didn't ask for her night time snack, she didn't wanna stay up and watch NOGGIN, she was very cooperative, put on her pajamas and went to bed, with a small request to get the covers off of her because she was HOTT!
I handled my last minute business on the PC and was in bed at a "decent" time.
Life is all what you make it, we get so caught up in our head and rambling about what we have to do next, when if we just live in the moment, and be present to every minute ..life just happens and works itself out, and you may make someones day in the process...as I did for Nakyia.
Enjoy the rest of you week and have a FABULOUS weekend!!!
Love you all!!!
XOXOXO
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Check out that foot work....
It is something to be said about someone who dances through this party of life and not miss a beat. Sounds easy but it takes your full attention, and WILL to come to this party, not feel the ambiance at times but still get up and dance to the music making the best of it.
My father used to tell me in high school, There are three kinds of people: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who ask, "What happened?", I always used to tell him I am the "Maker" I will be the master of my plans and run my own show. Its always a sad sight to watch people be in that last category but it happens SOOO often, and when you start seeing people close to you become a part of the "What Happened" crew it is even more devastating. Depending on your state of consciousness.
Opportunities and success in this day and age really comes down to who you know. It is not fair at times for person A who builds, studies and practices his craft day in and day out to loose his chance because person B who looks good and has a tad bit of swagger and happens to know somebody at the top gets it. We might say person A deserves it. Well that is the way life is. An do I think its not fair, NO!
My motto has always been do whatever it takes to get the job done. This does not mean that you sell your soul to the devil, for What does it mean for the man to gain the word but loose his soul. When I say do whatever it takes I mean learn and dissect whatever it is you are trying to attack and accomplish it the best way it can get done. If that means going to some events and schmoozing, and being available then do it, if that means staying a little bit later to appear to be ready and able to sacrifice then do it, if it means meeting the right people and saying the right things say it.
Not everything is papers and pencils, you need some common sense, some swagger, some confidence, some insight into the world around you and what is going on in this world so you can be sharp and on point, and socially mastered. So many people have no idea how to be social, and to me that is one of the hugest parts of success! I know first hand how being social opens a gazillion doors for you, more than any degree can.
In addition what do kind of work are you doing and is it relevant to where you plan to go in 5 years? If not, get something new to do! I believe any job that is monotonous where you do the same exact thing daily is going to make you ignorant. I do not say that to insult anyone who may have this type of job, but pay attention to what you are doing. Anytime you are doing anything repetitiously in the same way it keeps you dummied down and from expanding on your intellect. You eventually become a robot and start being afraid to take in anything new may it be information, activities or even people.
You must force yourself to always think and think critically, even when you are doing minute things that are small,force yourself to look at it critically and in a different way. Dissect people, situations, solutions and see how your paradigm will start to change.
I am a believer that if you change your way of thinking you can change your life. Start living outside the box that this society has built with it's stupidity to keep you distracted. Make your own rules! When someone says or does something that appears to be a little off, stop breathe and think about why before you jump off the handle and assume the worst. I myself have learned this, and it is not easy, but worth it. You will be surprised how most of the time you over analyze everything.
I just wanna give a big shout out to my cousin KIVA who recently started her own Event planning company! She is doing it HUGE! And it came from her realizing that "I am good at this...why not! If anyone needs an event planned let me know and I will forward her catalog on to you.
So my original point was ...DANCE! Dance to you are dripping with sweat, and so what if the party is not what you thought it would be ...You make the beats and you work it out! Make them say ...wow look at that foot work! Stop worrying about who is watching...they wish they were you up there.
LOVE YOU ALL! (i mean it)
XOXOXO
My father used to tell me in high school, There are three kinds of people: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who ask, "What happened?", I always used to tell him I am the "Maker" I will be the master of my plans and run my own show. Its always a sad sight to watch people be in that last category but it happens SOOO often, and when you start seeing people close to you become a part of the "What Happened" crew it is even more devastating. Depending on your state of consciousness.
Opportunities and success in this day and age really comes down to who you know. It is not fair at times for person A who builds, studies and practices his craft day in and day out to loose his chance because person B who looks good and has a tad bit of swagger and happens to know somebody at the top gets it. We might say person A deserves it. Well that is the way life is. An do I think its not fair, NO!
My motto has always been do whatever it takes to get the job done. This does not mean that you sell your soul to the devil, for What does it mean for the man to gain the word but loose his soul. When I say do whatever it takes I mean learn and dissect whatever it is you are trying to attack and accomplish it the best way it can get done. If that means going to some events and schmoozing, and being available then do it, if that means staying a little bit later to appear to be ready and able to sacrifice then do it, if it means meeting the right people and saying the right things say it.
Not everything is papers and pencils, you need some common sense, some swagger, some confidence, some insight into the world around you and what is going on in this world so you can be sharp and on point, and socially mastered. So many people have no idea how to be social, and to me that is one of the hugest parts of success! I know first hand how being social opens a gazillion doors for you, more than any degree can.
In addition what do kind of work are you doing and is it relevant to where you plan to go in 5 years? If not, get something new to do! I believe any job that is monotonous where you do the same exact thing daily is going to make you ignorant. I do not say that to insult anyone who may have this type of job, but pay attention to what you are doing. Anytime you are doing anything repetitiously in the same way it keeps you dummied down and from expanding on your intellect. You eventually become a robot and start being afraid to take in anything new may it be information, activities or even people.
You must force yourself to always think and think critically, even when you are doing minute things that are small,force yourself to look at it critically and in a different way. Dissect people, situations, solutions and see how your paradigm will start to change.
I am a believer that if you change your way of thinking you can change your life. Start living outside the box that this society has built with it's stupidity to keep you distracted. Make your own rules! When someone says or does something that appears to be a little off, stop breathe and think about why before you jump off the handle and assume the worst. I myself have learned this, and it is not easy, but worth it. You will be surprised how most of the time you over analyze everything.
I just wanna give a big shout out to my cousin KIVA who recently started her own Event planning company! She is doing it HUGE! And it came from her realizing that "I am good at this...why not! If anyone needs an event planned let me know and I will forward her catalog on to you.
So my original point was ...DANCE! Dance to you are dripping with sweat, and so what if the party is not what you thought it would be ...You make the beats and you work it out! Make them say ...wow look at that foot work! Stop worrying about who is watching...they wish they were you up there.
LOVE YOU ALL! (i mean it)
XOXOXO
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