I grew up with a woman who was one of the cleanest, organized, scheduled woman I think to have walked the earth. Maybe that is why I am soo anal, organized and a neat freak myself. My Nana would wake up at 4:45 am EVERY morning even though she was not going to work to get in the bathroom, put on her clothes and make her bed. I used to always wonder ...WHY?
She did not have a job she was going to because she was a homemaker from the time I was small, nobody was stopping by in the mornings, so there was no real reason for her to get up so early and do all these things as if she was expecting a house full by 8 am. Nor was anyone coming to judge the cleanliness of her house.
As I have gotten older I have learned why she wanted to do these things, and why she did. It had nothing to do with anyone outside of herself. She did it because this is the type of woman she was. She was clean, she was very put together and she wanted that to be in place everyday for HERSELF. She wanted those around her to be that way and she instilled these same traits and expectations in me....now that I fast forward 20 years...I notice so many similarities in myself from her.
I say all this to say...ever since I was small I have always been attracted to people who kept themselves up as well and was CLEAN! This may sound like a standard requirement but you would be surprised how these young girls these days settle for little boys who are looking very DUTTY to say the least. They are ashy, dirt all up under their nails, and have the nerve to have a stench.
My professor was telling us yesterday in class about some of the boys in her 7th grade class. She made a point about how this "jeans all the way to the middle of your thigh" look is sooo played and horrible and not only because it looks bad but because she notices that most of the boys are wearing the same underwear everyday. How does she know? Mainly because the hole is in the same spot it was in 2 days ago and the day before. If he were bathing wouldn't he put on some new boxers?
Granted, I do understand some people are not as fortunate as others and the kid might not have a variety of clothes, but the reality is many of these little boys are non-hygienic including young men(18-23) which leaves these girls open to really nothing to choose from. As I was told as a young girl "pick your men like you pick your fruit", but if all the fruit are rotten....then what?
I used to see one of my neighbors in the hallway with her little crusty boyfriend every day in the lobby last summer. This was a pretty girl, tall and very smart. I would look at her crusty boyfriend with his dingy hoody, non-braided hair all over the place and looking less that impressive, and she was all up in his mix. I wanted to ask her so many times, you are OK with that?! Is it OK that he looks sooo ridiculous and keeps your company when you try so hard and always look cute?
Make a long story short I see her the other day in the elevator and she is with a belly! *SMH* (Shaking My Head). She is only 17. Now do we blame the parents? Do we blame her? Or do we blame anyone? I think it goes back to the standards we have for ourselves. Had she set her standards high then maybe she would not even been talking to this guy to begin with.
That is not to say that if she gave her attention to a guy who every time he saw her he looked great and he put some effort and time into looking and smelling clean and fresh, that she still would not be pregnant, but I think it does say something about the character and the person.
Some may argue that it is shallow to judge how a person is by the way they keep themselves, but I disagree. I have seen and experienced the difference in people who take a little extra time to be a certain way when the world sees them, and it does reflect something inside of them.
I just want my young ladies to at least acknowledge and appreciate a man who cleans his nails, takes care of his mouth and does not run from using a little moisturizer. I think it goes a long way, and it may say a great deal about how much you mean to him.
Ladies it should just go without saying that we are clean, and we are taking care of ourselves and our personal life. Don't give me that I am liberated garbage and you don't care! Believe it or not the way you keep your place, and the external things around you is a huge reflection on the way you are feeling on the inside. If your apartment or house is in disarray most likely you are as well inside on some level, may it be emotional, or spiritual. It sounds crazy but its true.
I say be beautiful for you! Forget what everybody else is thinking and looking for. Do it because you wanna make yourself the best for yourself. You will be surprised what you start to attract in your world. At the end of the day, we ARE who we ATTRACT!