Men...such beautiful creatures when you see them from afar. Their big hands, muscle tone, strength and courage. But are they the same when we put them under the microscope to examine?
As with anything their is a balance. Not all men are created equal, not all father's are daddy's and not all men are responsible.
We have our men who get up and work to try to make a life for himself and for those closest to him. If he has any children he spends time with his child, and he try's to make an impact on those around him.
In contrast, you have the man who is not concerned with nobody but him, him and himself. Even if he has a child, he can't worry about taking care of him because his "money ain't right". And spending time with his offspring is COMPLETELY out the question because "He busy". He will give you a million and one reasons as to why he cannot come see his child, move out of his mother's house, look for a decent job or go to school.
So where does that leave us, the one's who are doing pretty well but have these people as friends? What about "your boys" , men love to hang with their "homies" just as much as ladies love to get together. What they talk about and how they pass the time may be a little bit different from women, but they still love having each others company.
I think men and women need to start holding their "friends" responsible for things that they should be doing. If you cannot identify with the scenario I pointed out above, but yet you know someone very well who has children and does not spend time with them nor take care of them then tell them that. If you know someone who is still "hugging" the block at 25 years old and they should be trying to get themselves a legal job that can sustain their life pass 30..tell them that. If you know a GAM (Grown A** Man) who is still living at home and they pushing 30 then ask them why? If you know a man who has a child, and they clearly spend more time with you barhopping, club hopping and in the street than with their child...send them home!
Overall, men and women, if you know you have someone in your circle who should be doing more with their life than they are and they have the potential to do it, then encourage them to do it. Sometimes people need constant motivation and encouragement from people, places and things before they realize something is possible for them to do. If you have done this and none of your attempts have worked, then cut the cord. The line between you and them inevitably will cease to exist.
Do not enable them by allowing them to hang in your circle when you are doing amazing things for yourself and your life, busting your tail day end and day out to achieve your goals, while this person sits and wait for something to drop out the sky. Time waits for no one and believe it or not you allow your energy to become tainted when you have this around you. We are the average of our 5 closest friends...so how does this person measure up to you?
Just as we start packing away our tank tops and shorts, and start taking out long sleeves and jackets as the cool air comes each season, I think we should re-evaluate and pack away the dead end relationships in our lives as well.
If you don't see people around you taking their lives as serious as you are then it may be time to pack those people up. I speak more to the men because you can fall victim to so much more out here.
Many men run around here from a young age spending most of their time, "chasing tail" and drinking, and partying. There is nothing wrong with living and having fun but you have to prioritize and handle business first.
Women need you to be more responsible, be held accountable for being a MAN, and to carry yourself in a balanced light. It should also be your responsibility to have the men around you doing the same thing, and if they aren't then be a role model for them. Start promoting this amongst your crew, you might start a trend.
All men want to settle down with a respectable "good woman", so think about what type of woman can you really attract if you living in a shady state that is not of quality. Then you get frustrated, and upset when you realize over time that your baby mother is really a hood rat. You was spending most of your time in the street so this was who you attracted.
We all see once we change from the inside and start living different we start to attract a different type of person on the outside.
Ask yourself. Do you need to pack some people up at the bottom of your closet?