Tuesday, November 25, 2008

...and if you say REAL TALK I probably won't believe you... (Andre 3000)

Why is it so damn hard for some people to keep it real! And really keep it real. Like say what the hell is really on their mind instead of sugar coating it and wrapping it up in a nice likkle knapsack with a bow!

I had a conversation/argument with a pretty cool friend of mine. We have not known each other all our lives but we met 3 years ago and we have been cool as hell ever since. She is one of the most emotional people I have in my life, but she is also one of the realest, smartest and "handle her business" chicks I know..which is why I keep her in my life.

Anyway...she basically called herself "reading me" the other day after we got into a heated debate as we usually do. She said to me " You know Deandra I don't think the closest people around you are being honest with you because it shows in the way you take constructive criticism. I think due to your strong personality and aggression a lot of people will refrain from telling you things because they are afraid of your reaction..but me I don't give a S***!

WHOA! So when she said this I immediately went off the handle once again, defending the people in my life and saying of course they tell me the real BUT then I thought about it, I could come up with a couple people I KNOW for a fact hold back. My mother and Divine have been telling me for years I am the worst at taking constructive criticism, and mainly because a part of me feels that I am RIGHT most of the time (forgive my EGO right now). lol.

So what did I do to my friend who I can COUNT on to tell me off and tell me when she thinks I am wrong...I told her You are right my dear! I love it! I love how you can show me these things and there is no other YOU in my life! You add on to me and help me see who I am when I am caught up in the suck. Which can be often.

I say this to say...We all may fall victim to holding back and not telling those in our life how we really feel..even when it comes to the smallest things. But if somebody means something to you then I feel in my heart that you are in their life for a reason. We all are not perfect and we all need help sometimes to get from point A to B. Only when we work as a collective can we start to see progress most of the time.

Now don't get me wrong, of course most of the answers are within ourselves and when we get in that space to be with us and to listen to the Oneness in our spirits we are at our best!, but sometimes to get to that space takes a tap on the shoulder from your mom, your dad, your brother, a homie or sometimes a stranger!

Be open to critique...filter out the BS and the hate...and take what you need from it to grow and to be a better diamond in the rough.

I know some of you have said why you always referencing Jay-Z in your blogs, but I like to reference Jay-z rhymes a lot because he is one of the only artists I know who can talk such TRUTH, say it CLEAR as day and you feel it in your toes and it hits you like "YOOOO that ish is HOTT".

In his song "Song Cry" which is one of my ABSOLUTE FAVES! He references to this same exact point I make. Appreciating someone who can give it to you hard, raw...and not care how you take it. I will put the whole verse below so you can enjoy it....but the last line is what brings it home for me.

Love you all!!!!! BE HONEST...BE TRUE....BE A FRIEND!


"Good dudes - I know you love me like cooked food
Even though a n*** got move like a crook move
We was together on the block since free lunch
We shoulda been together havin 4 Seasons brunch
We used to use umbrellas to face the bad weather
So now we travel first class to change the forecast
Never in bunches, just me and you
I loved your point of view cause you held no punches"-Jay Z Song Cry


Anonymous said...


AdrianC said...

Most people can't handle the truth. It's refreshing when we can actually express ourselves to our friends and peers but more often than not, when we give people a bit of truth, they tend to get defensive, focusing on what you are saying as opposed to why you are saying it. I tell people all the time they always think they are part of the solutions, but never apart of the problems.In many cases, when you argue with someone or tell them something about themselves they don't want to acknowledge they go with the I don't care argument, or they tell you that you think are better than them. So I am glad that you have found someone to tell you off when you need it but the main idea is you are willing to take that criticism in stride and do something about it. I hope everyone can gain something from this post take care.

Tasheeta said...

u misquoted andre

LadyDee - Brownlady Beautiful! said...

very good Adrian and Toy you are just something else!