My title comes from Lil Wayne song "Too Comfortable" and he said it best! "Yeah, to the left , to the left, if you wanna leave, be my guest you can step, feeling Irreplaceable listening to Beyonce, But okay, I put you out on your bday".
I have never ever ever understood why women and men who get into new relationships, in the beginning everything is PERFECT and you are in bliss. It feels like lying down on cool sheets for the first time on a warm night and then after 2-4 years...it feels like a hot pillow you have to keep flipping over so you can feel that coolness again.
I recently had a debate with some very intellectual, and talented folks..shout out to JANINE! We debated and discussed the issue of women (in particular) being cheated on..or pushed to the side by heir men because they have either gained extremes amount of weight, just don't keep themselves up like they used to, or they treat the act of giving up some good loving like tax season...it happens once a year!
Now I am WOMAN...a very PROUD one at that, and I must say that I have caught some slack for this but....YOU are responsible and can hold yourself accountable if your man starts dipping in the cookie jar that belongs to someone else, because you have started to do the above descriptions! I mean who else is there to really blame?
As women there is alot on our plate , especially us mothers! We hold it down always and most of the time we get no "pat" on the back for it. Then again we don't look for one nor does it keep us being the phenomenal women we are! This brings me right into the point of we should be up keeping ourselves and looking splashy all the time because we WANT to not because we are doing it for a man!
If you lured that man into your life, and while you were doing it, you had your nails done, hair fresh, feet soft, figure tight, complexion flawless, then why because you have him for 2-5 years now it stops? THEN..when he has some new estrogen circulating in his environment you want to rift and have a fit! HELLO WE LIVE IN NYC! Your man is destined to see an average of at least 8 BAD Broads for every 2 blocks he walks. The percentages get higher based on what part of NYC you live. That is another blog. :)
I think...unconsciously you know all you do is....complain, nag, investigate, pry and put that man under a microscope as if he is your child, when he is not....he is a GROWN MAN! Then you mad because he can't even be honest about what he is doing..he has to come up with lies and map his moves out strategically, because he knows you will turn into "MOM" and put the beats on him.
In addition lets just say you really got you a "CATCH" ..Fine, intelligent, long money, gentleman, charismatic, swagger on a a hundred thousand trillion, and you falling short in more than a couple areas. How does this equation work?
Just like in math....things just don't add up. When we as women go out to pamper ourselves on our weekly regime (I do weekly) but every two weeks is fair as well, We should ALWAYS do it for us and with the intent that we want our outsides to match our insides.
I understand that not everyone is feeling "FABTACULAR" on the inside every single day and you go through your times where you just don't have it in you. That is fine and normal. BUT...If you have decided to have a man that you have committed yourself to and in return you want this man to do the same, you have to think outside of yourself.
You cannot check his phone and be a lice in his hair if you are not fulfilling the requirements that you set forth in the beginning. I know some women as I mentioned yesterday in my conversation...who don't bathe for 2 days on the weekends...stay in...be miserable, drink beers, and gain weight in the process.
I am not speaking to women who have dropped their man's baby and have put on a few pounds because of it...that's normal and it will take time to get off, but be committed to doing so. Even if you were born with a "plump" gene...I am telling you..I have seen some FIERCE women who are large and doing their thing, and will put any skinny chick to shame!
I don't care what ANY MAN TELLS YOU! Let me tell you....a man loves a woman that smells good, a woman that wears clothes that flatters HER figure (may she be skinny or plump), a CONFIDENT women, a woman who he can laugh with and can make him laugh, a woman who is affectionate, a woman who can compliment him and make him feel like he is the only thing that matters, a woman that can communicate honestly what she is feeling, a woman that is secure with who she is and what position she plays, a woman that recognizes when he takes time to do something for her and broadcasts it to the world, a woman who is not afraid of the tough times and is a ride-or die, a woman he can confide in without her telling anybody, a woman who is always ready when that shoulder tap comes in the wee hours (if you get my drift), a woman that can cook a meal, and can handle simple domestic duties, and lastly who can can love him in every way that he likes unconditionally!
You can argue that and you don't have to agree that you will do it, but believe me...I speak from experience. I have not always had these things down pact and I may not have mastered each one to a tee, but I am capable and have come to learn in my years that all of the above produces AMAZING results and I can almost give you a 100% guarantee that you will see a difference in your man if you do it.
NOW....wait....not all men deserve this ALL THE TIME! While some that you are dating don't deserve none at all, in which case you should probably loose that deadbeat. So be wise and smart on who you CHOOSE to cater these benefits to. That is another blog....A LONG ONE!
Love you all!
HAVE A GREAT FABULOUS DAY AND WEEKEND!!